Ptolemy profile picture

Ptolemy

I'm really into Albert Heign's Puur Fruit Smoothie's. The Met Aardbei en banaan is the best thus far

About Me

I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things. My friends and... uh... my thermos. Huh? My story? O.k. It was never for easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days sitting on the porch with my family singing and dancing, down in Mississippi.

My Interests

Cigarettes, coffee, Moscow, Africa, Amsterdam, puppy dogs, getting my back cracked by Asians, opium dens, city dwellers, the underbelly of society, undesirables, Paris, deadly auto races, midget tossing, PBR, 1664, pig tails, self-deprecation, sushi, cheap dates and crashing parties in Northern Europe, mainly Belgium and The Netherlands. 06.14.69.65.95, it's Dutch so you have to figure out the country code issue. If you call, breathe heavily and pant.

I'd like to meet:

Girls in plaid skirts and especially ones who buy me beer and/or wine, Nazghalia and Diane Kruger, the German actress. My turn offs are wack m.c.'s and girls with cheap make-up and their boyfriends. And last but not least;

Music:

Madness, The Jam, Clash, Social Distortion, Johnny Cash, the Hold Steady, Ivy, Nouvelle Vague, Stereolab, Dillinger Four, Replacements, Husker Du, Soul Coughing, That Dog, Tom Lehrer, William Shatner, XTC, the Specials...

Movies:

Dr. Strangelove, Art fuck films, March of the Penguins, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, plot driven pornography (you laugh, but it’s interesting in some strange sense), Le Fem Nikita, Man Bites Dog, The Life Aquatic, Caddyshack, Lawrence of Arabia, Blazing Saddles, Star Wars (only the last three), and some others.

Television:

SCTV, The Daily Show, The Kids in the Hall, Faulty Towers, anything else on BBC, anything on Cartoon Networks Adult Swim, Mr. Belvedere...

Books:

Politics Among Nations, Tales of the Cities series, The Prince, Theocracy or Democracy, No God but God, Kremlin Rising...

Heroes:

I have some, but they're all dead or really stupid. My Dad can be cool, but he's really square. I often think to myself how cool it would be if Mister Rogers was my Dad or Captain Kangaroo.

My Blog

Nigerians are a plague and give Africans a bad reputation

I received this email and it further adds credence to my view that Nigerians are a plague on the planet and that except for their oil reserves they have nothing to offer the world community. And so it...
Posted by Ptolemy on Tue, 13 Feb 2007 10:52:00 PST

bushier

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Posted by Ptolemy on Thu, 01 Feb 2007 04:09:00 PST

Five things that let you know that you're in Holland

1) You're beset by really hot women, and some boys2) They scrape the head of all your Heinekens3) You can't get French, Indian or German food except for frites, American fast-food and pizzas4) It rain...
Posted by Ptolemy on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 11:26:00 PST

St. Nicholas Day, watch out for Santa and his slaves

Before I left for Amsterdam a friend gave me to read David Sedaris's "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Demin". In the chapter titled "Six to Eight Black Men", Sedaris describes the Dutch holiday , St...
Posted by Ptolemy on Sun, 03 Dec 2006 11:52:00 PST

Feminism according to Colbert

Too good not to share...
Posted by Ptolemy on Sun, 22 Oct 2006 03:29:00 PST

Dropping some kids off at the pool tonight and I will describe it for you

So I've decided to detoxify my system.  And for fun I'll offer some descriptives.  For one you can't drink for two weeks which really blows.  And secondly, you can't consume any carbohy...
Posted by Ptolemy on Sun, 08 Oct 2006 11:59:00 PST

an apology is due

...
Posted by Ptolemy on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 07:20:00 PST

If the South had won

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Posted by Ptolemy on Thu, 24 Aug 2006 10:00:00 PST

motivation

What is about being motivated?  I only have two weeks left of a math course and I cant seem to make myself study for it.  It might be that I feel like shit from a hippie festival; sunburned,...
Posted by Ptolemy on Mon, 31 Jul 2006 10:07:00 PST

Graduate School search

I was going to do some critique of my experiences thus far sense returning to the states in comparison to Europe but that is pointless being that almost everyone I know that reads this would prefer E...
Posted by Ptolemy on Wed, 24 May 2006 12:45:00 PST