Steve Austin profile picture

Steve Austin

I am here for Dating, Friends and Networking

About Me

"Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster."Well I'm super-human so I've got that going for me. I spend most of my time tracking down scum, third world dictators, and your basic bad asses. I like to run really fast, and I love to jump over stuff. My identity is a secret so I don't socialize as much as I'd like. It sucks really, being a super-human crime fighter that is. People think it's all glamour, chicks, and parties - but not for me. I'm on a tight leash by the sadistic, top-secret types I work for. They always want to know I'm ready to combat the next crime spree. You try being on-call to fight crime ALL the damn time. Hey, even Superman takes time off to hibernate in that ice chalet of his. Oh, and I'd like to get a dog, probably a poodle.
I edited my profile with Thomas’ Myspace Editor V3.6 !
I edited my profile with Thomas’ Myspace Editor V3.6 !

My Interests



Investigating foreign spies, mad scientists, bombers, space aliens, and even Bigfoot, advanced crime fighting gizmos, stopping evil in its tracks, jogging at the speed of sound, undressing people with my bionic eye, lifting people above my head, shutting down evildoers, jumping tall fences, running really fast, using my bionic eye to catch Lindsey Wagner in compromising positions, getting in compromising positions with Lindsey Wagner. You know, the usual.

I'd like to meet:

Physically enhanced ladies. Being super human makes dating rough. Most women can't keep up. Lindsey, the Bionic Woman, and I had a thing for awhile but it didn't last. Two super humans together is a sure-fire recipe for relationship burnout, always trying to 'one up' the other if you know what I mean. The sex was awesome... but pretty damn quick. You ever tried doin' it at the speed of sound? If you blink you've missed it. So, I'd like to meet some young hotties who don't mind my technologically-enhanced super powers or crime fighting schedule. Oh, and anyone who specializes in bionic replacement parts.

These two better be really careful!

Music:

My ears are finely tuned and highly sensitive to ultra-high frequencies so I find it difficult to listen to just one thing at a time. You ever notice your dog when his ears prick up and he's looking around like he can hear something. That's me. I will say that The Partridge Family sure can swing though. And that Susan Day, anyone have her number?

Movies:

Anything, and I mean ANYTHING, with that talented Lee Majors in it. He's primed for a comeback. Also enjoy the superb work of the incomparable Lana Turner!

Television:

TV Land, mostly The Six Million Dollar Man, and The Bionic Woman.

Books:

Care And Upkeep of Your Bionic Replacement Retina, The Speed of Sound, Dating For the Superhuman, The Life and Loves of Farah Fawcett.

Heroes:

Um... myself. I mean, come on. I'm bionic. Hello?!

My Blog

The Rumors of My Demise... are Greatly Exaggerated!

How many times must I resurface from the clutches of death just to prove to you all I'm still here?  If you thought for one minute that I could be terminated "just like that" I'll ask you to reca...
Posted by Steve Austin on Fri, 20 Oct 2006 12:18:00 PST

Blog This!

Hello weary readers, whomever you might be. It occured to me that my blogs have been few, far between, sporadic, pointless, and sometimes just downright uneventful.  Then again, I haven't had a h...
Posted by Steve Austin on Mon, 26 Jun 2006 07:39:00 PST

So... These Crazy Olympics

I was looking over the so-called "rules and regulations" and nowhere did I see anything printed barring bionically-enhanced super humans from competition.  Lucky thing I'm the only one on the... ...
Posted by Steve Austin on Fri, 24 Feb 2006 11:14:00 PST

Ready To Rebound

Well, some of you may know about my on again, off again relationship with Jaime, aka: The Bionic Woman.  It's true.  She and I have had conjugal relations in the past... more than once. ...
Posted by Steve Austin on Thu, 23 Feb 2006 04:41:00 PST

Crazed by Technology!

"I want to show you something, Steve. This is your arm." That's the last thing I heard before going under for my bionic super surgery.  Don't be fooled my good friends, this bizarre new wave of "...
Posted by Steve Austin on Thu, 23 Feb 2006 04:36:00 PST

Personal Problem

Hm... this is kinda embarassing, and I'm not really sure posting it here is a good idea, but I'm hoping one of my crime team members might have a solution.  See, I run really fast, somewhere aro...
Posted by Steve Austin on Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:12:00 PST

Super Cool Crime Team

Hey everybody, Welcome to my new online home.  Of course my real home is a top-secret government facility with little to no comfort.  Funding isn't what it used to be and that's why I'm star...
Posted by Steve Austin on Fri, 06 Jan 2006 11:10:00 PST