VegasArtBoy profile picture

VegasArtBoy

World domination one pixel at a time.

About Me


THIS JUST IN! All three of my CD's, "Forever is a Lie", "Outland" and "Hammer of Karma" are available for sale online at Amazon, Target & Borders. To make it easier, all you have to do is go there and do a search for Dennis Melton.
You can also buy all of the songs from all three albums individually as high quality Mp3 download singles for only 99¢ each or the complete albums in Mp3 form at FUZZ.com by clicking HERE
. OR... for even more zany fun, go to my artist web to learn more about my recordings, listen to samples, read the liner notes, etc. Go to DennisMelton.com .
Humorless, sullen and despondent for the most part, and frighteningly intelligent with a hobby of not letting anyone know it.
These are a few of the thousands of illustrations I have done in Adobe Photoshop 7. All are copyrighted and blah blah blah. What it amounts to is "please don't steal my shit without asking. Thankyouverymuch."
After you peek at the artwork and get all worked up into a "Why the hell can't I be that cool???" Retro Fever, CLICK HERE to buy some awfully hip, exclusive "Terminally Tiki" logo merchandise!
Even if you couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons, this gear is sure to improve your odds at least somewhat...
Ember Cowan. FireStarter. Mutant. Babe. Most recent addition to Clan Shadowfire.

Dragons are sort of like Tiki Gods. Some are cute and cuddly and some are ferocious and terrible. I prefer the ones that want to burn things up and kill stuff.
You can fox the fox, you can rat on the rat. You can ape the ape... I know about that.
You can pretty much get ready to scroll through a huge pile of Tiki artwork, photoshop illustrations of women, a couple of cars, a few digital portraits, etc. from here on. Hope you like it. If not... well... that's what the 'ol back button is for, y'know?
You know who has left the building.
I'm so not a gearhead, but I am so
a Photoshop freak. And cars are particularly fun in Adobe.
I don't remember when I fell totally in love with
Tiki culture, but there I go.
Pretty girls, shiny gold shit, and Egyptian art.
Three of my favorite things.
My friend Lizzie, who actually looked at this MySpace page and said she was "Wowed"! Lizzie is pretty "Wow!" herself. As for the art... Ok, so I'm a Shag fan. I was around when this stuff wasn't "retro".
Sage wisdom from Jesse "The Body" Ventura, just before being elected Governor of ManySoda: "I have no hero on this earth if not Victor Newman."

Message from earth to the Governor: "Mr. Governor? Victor is an... ummm... fictional character on a soap opera. You know that, right?"
More swanky retro art. When will it end? BTW,
anyone who hasn't been to Easter Island really
needs to... waitaminit... I haven't been either.
Sheeeesh. I tell ya, being a half a century old
is NOT for the squeamish!

Just a few of my friends. (If I have bad luck now, I give up.)
You want to click that logo. Really you do. What? You don't trust me by now?
My latest. What the HELL is she doing in the jungle with this pervy ol' Tiki God?
A combination of a drawing of one of my favorite Tiki figurines (in the collection above) and an Elvgren-inspired pinup. I swear these Tiki bastards have all the fun.
I put this gap here so you could see the cheeseburger.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:


Music:

Oh Hell with it.
I had an original recording I recently did here but can't seem to get around the "Active X" b.s. and everyone pissing and moaning about it.
As for the music I like... which is what this area on MySpace was intended for...

Surfin' and Spyin' music in general but especially The Ventures, (also the Shadows, Dick Dale, Chantays, Surfaris, etc. but we all know that The Ventures rule),

Bill Bruford (the drummer's drummer and instumental music composer's composer, mostly of Yes and King Crimson fame),

Brian Setzer (with or without his Orchestra or the Stray Cats... tattoo'd lil' freak...), Angelo Badalamenti (a wizard and a true GAWD. Creator of some of the eeriest, most musical music I own.)

Al Di Meola (the finest guitarist that ever breathed and, thank god, continues to and if you don't agree with me you're blatantly and obviously wrong and more than likely need help),

Chick Corea (although I prefered the earlier, electric, "RTF" stuff - I mean... is there a better instrumental song in the world than "Return to the Seventh Galaxy"?), Donald Fagan (who writes songs that I "get"), The Tubes (I absolutely and unconditionally *LOVE* The Tubes),

The Beatles (earlier and later Beatles, especially), Sir Paul McCartney solo and with Wings (after he found his solo legs and before he got silly. I mean... is "Live and Let Die" not a masterpiece?), David Bowie (for all the obvious reasons, not the least of which is that he started pretty much everything worthwhile since 1973), YES (in pretty much any incarnation except the goofy Patrick Moraz phase), Genesis (pre and just post Gabriel departure, when Collins was still trying to make the band sound like they did when everyone fell in love with them), Peter Gabriel (because he is god. Amen.), A group that only me and my brother Billy know named City Boy who wrote the finest lyrics ever to grace rock music, featured the tastiest guitar riffage and tightest harmony known to man, and died, largely unheralded, in the early 80's

Chris Isaak (when he goes off his meds), The Buggles (Trevor Horn could rule us all and we'd all be happily in subjection doing acts of obeisance and contrition.)

Martin Denny (swank bachelor pad and hip island flavored lounge music God who very sadly passed away 3/2/2005 at the incredible age of 94)

Benny Mardones (don't ask), and the list goes on and on.

Movies:

King Kong (I saw the original over 30 times)

Lord of The Rings (If you didn't love these three films you need serious, expensive, professional help), Desperado (filmed entirely in my old stompin' grounds of Ciudad Acuna, MX - not to mention Salma Hayek's only nude scene)

Tombstone (even if just for the lines "I'm your huckleberry", "It seems my hypocrisy knows no bounds..." and "You're no daisy"), Romeo is Bleeding, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

Sin City (Perhaps the most creative and inventive film of the new millenium.

Besides, even if it weren't so incredibly BAD-ASS, Robert Rodriguez and I have a mutual friend back in Ciudad Acuna) and many, many more.

Television:

24 (I actually had a dream a few weeks ago that I had been hired as the head of the Jack Bauer for President campaign.
Ten Nugent was the V.P. candidate. LMFAO! I kept trying to explain to the supporters that he was a fictional character but it didn't matter to them. What a hoot. I have delicious dreams and I may very well be, of all the people you know including your parents, the one who did the LEAST drugs.) Las Vegas (for obvious reasons), Medium (because the premise is just plain cool and everyone with even a semi-functional winky in their boxers knows that Patricia Arquette is the penultimate, quintessential hausfrau milf), CSI (for obvious Vegas-related reasons and also that I am in love with Marg Helgenberger. MYGAWD whatta MILF!)
Deadwood (some of the best TV in the history of the medium), the now unwisely defunct Carnivale
(whose cancellation was a sacriledge in my opinion) Fear Factor (but only the ones where they have to eat stuff that'd knock a buzzard off a gut wagon or have anorexic nubiles with enormous implants as contestants.

Books:


Buy some hip, ultra-swank "Terminally Tiki" goods! You know you want to! Make all your friends jealous! (VegasArtBoy handy hint no. 1: If they're jealous they leave you alone!)
My third CD release, "Hammer of Karma". CLICK HERE to learn more about my recordings.
My second CD release, "Outland (Still a Lie)". CLICK HERE to learn more.
My first CD release, "Forever is a Lie". (And y'know what? It is.) CLICK HERE for more info on my original music compositions and recordings.
If you didn't know this was Boris Karloff you're too damn young to be here lookin' at lesbian's butts!
Not all Tikis are friendly and drunk and intended to welcome howlie tourists to luaus. I prefer the terrible, pissed off variety. (Sheeesh! More Tiki art. When will it end, fer chrissakes?)
Even when I'm embracing my feminine side I'm evidently still a drunk.
A decidedly nonlesbian butt. And I should know. I drew it, dammit.
That's CHIEF Inspector to you!
Sandy. (See blog "So what the hell is it about me?")
Doesn't really need a caption, does it?.
Wonder what happens if you click here...
Another one that really doesn't require a comment...
I made this from a Birthday card my friend Ann gave me years ago. It actually looks just like me at that age. (Although I didn't start playing drums for a few years.)
Marvelous Mike. This is a toy I had when I was a very young boy. I just found a pic of it and it took me back 45 years and had to draw this so I could be that excited kid for the two hours it took to do. Gawd I get more lame the farther down you scroll. Now, who woulda thought THAT was possible?

Heroes:

Hmmmm... been on here for ages and never filled this part out. I have a few heroes, actually. I believe that number one would be my father, resting in peace with a pole in his hand and a bass on the hook. He taught me that you don't have to care all that much for someone to be kind to them. He may have gotten a bit martyrish when he did kindnesses for people he knew well and they went unacknowledged or unreciprocated, which was virtually ALWAYS, but he was the one human being I've known who would never, ever, pass a stranger on the side of the road with their hood up and not stop to do what he could. He was also the world's premier auto mechanic and never failed to get them back on the road. If someone asked, he gave. Period.
Number two would be my sainted, virgin mother. Also deceased and resting peacefully with a crochet hook in one hand, the tv remote in the other, and snoring, but with a smile on her face. A patient, long-suffering woman who was perpetually happy with what she had. The only person I have ever even heard of that would've given her home over to her teenaged sons' rock band, regardless of how shitty they were at any stage of development. (Admittedly, so we would be home where she could keep an eye on us, but unselfish nonetheless.) What she taught me was that yearning and striving for more is not, necessarily, a bad thing, but that there's nothing wrong with being content either if you have the important things around you.
Number three would HAVE TO be my brother Billy. He has been my best, dearest, most non-judgmental friend since birth, and continues to be. I can't say what I learned from Bill because I continue to daily. I couldn't feel luckier.
A close fourth would be my divine roommate Janna. God, in His wisdom, added this woman to my life and if I were a praying man, I would be thanking Him daily for it. The most selfless, generous woman I have known and the one that has done her personal best to enhance the quality of my life. It's no wonder whatsoever that everyone around her cherishes her.

My Blog

I found the gates of hell in Round Rock, TX

Round Rock, TX I was living in Del Rio, TX at the time and got a distress call from my ex-girlfriend Lara, who lived in Dallas. She was in Austin, having just arrived upon the news of her father's ...
Posted by VegasArtBoy on Fri, 28 Apr 2006 01:31:00 PST

About me... sort of

I'm a 54 year-old slacker. See how short this could be? But, alas, I never know when to stop talking (or typing) so it will become much more detailed than it should, like most things, and undoubted...
Posted by VegasArtBoy on Tue, 21 Feb 2006 12:38:00 PST

Ridiculously funny Viagra Spam Emails. I'm over 50. I get like 100 a day.

Do not flood with your sperm your downstairs neighbor when you start using our Spermamax. With Viagra Pro your penis works like a mincer. With our Super Viagra you will be able to play the guitar wit...
Posted by VegasArtBoy on Mon, 13 Feb 2006 06:46:00 PST

Clan Shadowfire -or- That's No Way to Treat the Little Sister of The Galactic Overlord

This is the story of a story. One that yours truly wrote some time ago, over the course of about ten years. It started out as an online comicbook. An "illustrated short story" as it were and the fir...
Posted by VegasArtBoy on Sat, 04 Feb 2006 04:58:00 PST

Pathetic, Deceptive Celebrity Wannabe's on MySpace

To the pathetic losers who don't have the humility to admit they're a fan and just erect a fan site, so they actually hit themselves in the groin with a mallet instead and put up a celebrity imposter...
Posted by VegasArtBoy on Mon, 23 Jan 2006 05:07:00 PST

Chat Room Dating is EVIL. Hell... the internet is EVIL.

A note about online "dating". Don't do it! *bwahaha!* This from a battle-scarred veteran. This is an essay about dating and chatting and the relationship between the two. This is not about people lik...
Posted by VegasArtBoy on Sun, 22 Jan 2006 08:48:00 PST

So what the hell is it about me???

So just what the hell is it about me?   I have always felt that I attracted different types to myself through no doing of my own. Different from most people, not necessarily different from mysel...
Posted by VegasArtBoy on Mon, 16 Jan 2006 12:30:00 PST

This one really *IS* about Betty

Sooo... BETTY! I have this fabulous pet who, a couple of months after I got her for my birthday in August, decided to go underground to hibernate. Hell, I didn't know that box turtles hibernated. So a...
Posted by VegasArtBoy on Mon, 16 Jan 2006 05:19:00 PST

My eccentric Betty

What to do, what to do... I have this Ornate Box Turtle named Betty. She's a gem. The problem is, like most "people" in my life, the closer I am to them the stranger they are. This is one reason I don...
Posted by VegasArtBoy on Sat, 14 Jan 2006 07:06:00 PST