Michael Winner - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hi, I'm Michael Winner. Welcome to MichaelSpace(!) You may remember me from such TV commercials as the Esure adverts. It's quite hard to forget the catchphrase: "Calm down dear!" Other memorable quotes by myself include: "When I tell people I've slept with more than 130 women, they are appalled but, you know, I've been doing it for 55 years so I don't think that's bad going!", "Ah, that must be George Best's Funeral" (which I rather foolishly used in reference to the Hemel Hempstead Oil Refinery Fire. Apparently I upset many people!) and "Do you know who I am?" (I use this one for restaurants). Quotes by other people include: "I for one intentionally chose not to go with esure, even when they provided me with the lowest quote, purely because of Michael Winner." Feel free to browse my page and be sure to leave a comment! Yours, Mikey. .. Update: Michael Winner here! Just thought I'd let you know that the famed Esure advert is now up by popular demand. It is available for viewing directly above this sentence. Slightly different to how I remember it but well, this is what they tell me old age does to you! Update!: Thought I should reassure my adoring fans, it's only right - MICHAEL WINNER LIVES! Had a minor brush with death after eating a dodgy oyster in Barbados but, due to my own miraculous physical strength and certain bits of good luck (I like to call it the Michael Winner effect), I'M ALRIGHT!

My Interests

Fishing, taking a long walk whilst simultaneoulsy pondering the mysteries of our earth, the sound of a classical guitar fading in the summer wind...

I'd like to meet:

Well I'm sure even you, common MySpace scum that you are, can comprehend that being Michael Winner, there's not many you haven't met. Indeed, it is more often the case that people are anxious to meet ME! However there's a particular fat, blue mouse with protruding front teeth and an annoying American accent that I wouldn't mind meeting soon... preferably with him in a mouse trap and me staring down at him taunting him with a piece of cheese!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Er, nothing to do with the fact that he stole my job of course. Bastard.UPDATE!: The rodent is dead! Long live the Esure King! (Me).

Music:

Well, what can I say? Always with the times, Michael Winner's a bad boy at heart. Among my favourites are Eminem, Fiddy Cent and Ice Block, not to mention many other hip, up-and-coming MCs and Disc Jockeys of the underground.

Movies:

All my own films of course! If you haven't seen them you deserve to die. Among my personal triumphs are "The Jokers", "You Must Be Joking!" and the piÃ¨ce de rÃ©sistance: "Won Ton Ton - The Dog Who Saved Hollywood".

Television:

Nothing but back to back re-runs of all the Esure adverts. I once enjoyed a 72-hour marathon. Try it, it does wonders for the brain!

Books:

Hmm, that's a toughie! I suppose my favourite book of all time would have to be my autobiography "Winner Takes All: A Life of Sorts". Available in all good bookshops.

Heroes:

MICHAEL WINNER HAS NO HEROES. HE REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE ANYONE BUT HIMSELF.