They say I might as well face the truth
That I am just too long in the tooth.
I've started to deteriorate
And now I've passed my own sell-by date.Oh, I am no spring chicken it's true.
I have to pop my teeth in to chew.
And my old knees have started to knock
I've just got too many miles on the clock.So I'm a wrinkly, crinkly, set in my ways.
It's true that my body has seen better days.
But give me half a chance and I can still misbehave.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Victor
Birthday: A Gentleman Never Tells
Birthplace: Scotland
Current Location: Suburbia
Eye Color: Blue maybe, look I don't know, ask my bloody doctor!
Hair Color: Bald and white
Height: Awful question
Right Handed or Left Handed: Who cares?
Your Heritage: Mongol probably
The Shoes You Wore Today: They were bloody uncomfortable!
Your Weakness: Idiots
Your Fears: Incompetence
Your Perfect Pizza: One served on time
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: So many...
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I don't believe it!
Thoughts First Waking Up: Not again
Your Best Physical Feature: My face
Your Bedtime: Too soon
Your Most Missed Memory: Marrying Margaret of course
Pepsi or Coke: Neither, rot the teeth
MacDonalds or Burger King: Neither, both serve rubbish in a bun
Single or Group Dates: Group dates? Is this the 60s?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: A good old fashioned cup of tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Bitter lemon
Cappuccino or Coffee: Both too fancy
Do you Smoke: Would if it wasn't so expensive
Do you Swear: Frequently
Do you Sing: Occasionally I pop out a showtune
Do you Shower Daily: It's broken at the moment, blame my bloody plumber!
Have you Been in Love: Yes
Do you want to go to College: At my age?
Do you want to get Married: Been there, done that
Do you belive in yourself: I don't believe it!
Do you get Motion Sickness: Everything makes me sick
Do you think you are Attractive: Margaret's seems to think so
Are you a Health Freak: I like to indulge myself
Do you get along with your Parents: Both deceased
Do you like Thunderstorms: If they help my grass grow then yes
Do you play an Instrument: I make enough noise without an instrument
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Bloody hell yes!
In the past month have you Smoked: No but I&..39;ve ingested second hand smoke, disgraceful!
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Wish I had been
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Took Margaret out for dinner
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: They're hell on earth
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: What are you talking about?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I'm afraid of food poisoning
In the past month have you been on Stage: You'll never catch me on stage!
In the past month have you been Dumped: Heaven forbid
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Do you know who you're talking to?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: What an accusation!
Ever been Drunk: Often
Ever been called a Tease: I'm far too blunt for that
Ever been Beaten up: Very nearly on many occasions
Ever Shoplifted: I'm a law abiding citizen
How do you want to Die: Soon
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I'm as grown up as it gets!
What country would you most like to Visit: Don't know but definitely not The Algarve!
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: They're all the same
Favourite Hair Color: White
Short or Long Hair: Short
Height: Shorter than me
Weight: How superficial!
Best Clothing Style: Sunday Casual
Number of Drugs I have taken: All prescription I'll have you know
Number of CDs I own: I've got a few LPs, modern music is awful
Number of Piercings: Ghastly
Number of Tattoos: Gruesome
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Should have been Prime Minister
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
