Victor profile picture

Victor

Believe it!

About Me

They say I might as well face the truth That I am just too long in the tooth. I've started to deteriorate And now I've passed my own sell-by date.Oh, I am no spring chicken it's true. I have to pop my teeth in to chew. And my old knees have started to knock I've just got too many miles on the clock.So I'm a wrinkly, crinkly, set in my ways. It's true that my body has seen better days. But give me half a chance and I can still misbehave.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Victor
Birthday: A Gentleman Never Tells
Birthplace: Scotland
Current Location: Suburbia
Eye Color: Blue maybe, look I don't know, ask my bloody doctor!
Hair Color: Bald and white
Height: Awful question
Right Handed or Left Handed: Who cares?
Your Heritage: Mongol probably
The Shoes You Wore Today: They were bloody uncomfortable!
Your Weakness: Idiots
Your Fears: Incompetence
Your Perfect Pizza: One served on time
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: So many...
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I don't believe it!
Thoughts First Waking Up: Not again
Your Best Physical Feature: My face
Your Bedtime: Too soon
Your Most Missed Memory: Marrying Margaret of course
Pepsi or Coke: Neither, rot the teeth
MacDonalds or Burger King: Neither, both serve rubbish in a bun
Single or Group Dates: Group dates? Is this the 60s?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: A good old fashioned cup of tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Bitter lemon
Cappuccino or Coffee: Both too fancy
Do you Smoke: Would if it wasn't so expensive
Do you Swear: Frequently
Do you Sing: Occasionally I pop out a showtune
Do you Shower Daily: It's broken at the moment, blame my bloody plumber!
Have you Been in Love: Yes
Do you want to go to College: At my age?
Do you want to get Married: Been there, done that
Do you belive in yourself: I don't believe it!
Do you get Motion Sickness: Everything makes me sick
Do you think you are Attractive: Margaret's seems to think so
Are you a Health Freak: I like to indulge myself
Do you get along with your Parents: Both deceased
Do you like Thunderstorms: If they help my grass grow then yes
Do you play an Instrument: I make enough noise without an instrument
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Bloody hell yes!
In the past month have you Smoked: No but I&..39;ve ingested second hand smoke, disgraceful!
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Wish I had been
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Took Margaret out for dinner
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: They're hell on earth
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: What are you talking about?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I'm afraid of food poisoning
In the past month have you been on Stage: You'll never catch me on stage!
In the past month have you been Dumped: Heaven forbid
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Do you know who you're talking to?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: What an accusation!
Ever been Drunk: Often
Ever been called a Tease: I'm far too blunt for that
Ever been Beaten up: Very nearly on many occasions
Ever Shoplifted: I'm a law abiding citizen
How do you want to Die: Soon
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I'm as grown up as it gets!
What country would you most like to Visit: Don't know but definitely not The Algarve!
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: They're all the same
Favourite Hair Color: White
Short or Long Hair: Short
Height: Shorter than me
Weight: How superficial!
Best Clothing Style: Sunday Casual
Number of Drugs I have taken: All prescription I'll have you know
Number of CDs I own: I've got a few LPs, modern music is awful
Number of Piercings: Ghastly
Number of Tattoos: Gruesome
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Should have been Prime Minister
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

My Interests

Being in a perpetual state of disbelief.

I'd like to meet:

Somebody who isn't bloody incompetent.

Music:

Don't Believe The Truth by Oasis. Don't worry lads I bloody well didn't.

Movies:

You sit in a smelly old cinema with some horrible toddler kicking your seat the whole time while an obnoxious man with big hair in front of you is munching popcorn like a shark biting on a Jacob's cream cracker. Is it really worth it I ask you?

Television:

Anything but old sitcoms that the BBC like to wheel out when they're too lazy to put anything else on.

Heroes:

Definitely not the gardener. I asked him if, for the time being, he'd put it in the downstairs toilet for me, and you know what he's done? He's only planted it in the pan! Yes, actually in the lavatory pan, with compost and everything! I mean, how anyone can be so utterly goofy just boggles the mind... a mistake anyone could have made? Are you stark... I mean, what am I supposed to do, cock my leg against the trunk like a Yorkshire terrier?

My Blog

I Fought The Law

I have always prided myself on being a law-abiding, respectful member of society. Yes I may speak my mind when I see fit but I do so in the interests of the community. I didn't build up my reputation ...
Posted by Victor on Mon, 02 Apr 2007 03:06:00 PST

Victor Loves You

You might have guessed I belong to the cynical group of people who believe Valentine's Day is a commercialised waste of time. All that poppycock with love hearts and flowers and chocolates&n...
Posted by Victor on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 12:34:00 PST

Some Christmas...

Hellish. That is the only word I can use to describe it. I used to hope I wasn't going to Hell but I don't fear it anymore because I've already experienced it in this past festive season. It started ...
Posted by Victor on Tue, 16 Jan 2007 01:12:00 PST

A Scene at Halloween

I've never liked Halloween. A bunch of snotty nosed kids knocking down your door asking for free sweets and if you refuse they throw eggs at your brickwork. As always I vowed to barricade myself in th...
Posted by Victor on Sun, 05 Nov 2006 06:59:00 PST

Pain(t)

My home needed a little D.I.Y doing. Margaret said we ought to get a man in to do it but I laughed it off as being absolutely preposterous when I was there in good health with a fully stocked toolbox....
Posted by Victor on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 02:59:00 PST

Call That Music?!

Young 'uns seem to like music. Although I shouldn't call it music. Music to me is Lonnie Donnegan, The Seekers, Matt Monro, Jim Reeves, they were all bloody awful but I consider them to be music. Marg...
Posted by Victor on Sat, 23 Sep 2006 09:04:00 PST

The Price Isn't Right

My tale begins with an incredible stroke of good luck. I know you may well be thinking 'I don't believe it' at this point but you can save it for later. I returned home from an abysmal trip to the sup...
Posted by Victor on Sun, 03 Sep 2006 05:27:00 PST

Down and Out on Quiz Night

What better way to spend an evening than matching wits? Working the grey matter over in a good old fashioned pub quiz? I thought this would be a good idea but how wrong I was! It happened by accident...
Posted by Victor on Wed, 09 Aug 2006 09:00:00 PST

Tour De Force

Margaret happened to be watching the Tour De France the other day and got it into her head that a bike ride would do me the world of good. I failed to see the benefits myself what with bugs flying in ...
Posted by Victor on Mon, 17 Jul 2006 12:21:00 PST

The Wild Life

Last week myself and Margaret decided to take a day out. A simple enough decision and a simple enough plan where nothing could possibly go wrong and we would happily go about our way enjoying eac...
Posted by Victor on Mon, 03 Jul 2006 01:03:00 PST