Christopher

My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.I am a Magician, Comedian and Musician In the Knoxville area. I don't like to to stay still for very long. My life is a string of strange events, usually brought on bad decisions or weird ideas that pop into my head. I'm either the world's biggest asshole or the nicest guy you'll ever meet, it depends on who you ask. I like to think I'm somewhere in between. If you go out in birmingham you'll probably see me. If you do just ask for some magic.I also run a kitten orphanage. (ok not really I just wanted to tug on your heart strings.)I've punched a one legged bird. I've won a car playing Bingo. I've crashed a polka festival. I always ride the shopping cart when leaving stores. I've been a J.C Penny model. The scariest moment in my life involved an inflatable raft , a waterfall and two Lesbians. I've won a karaoke contest and a chili cookoff. I have terrible luck with women. I've been a cheerleader and thrown girls in the air. I've been kicked out of a fraternity for punching the president. I've sung in the Whitehouse. I met an anorexic model in Manhattan and convinced her to eat moonpies and tater tots. I've been the capt. of a swim team. I enjoy playing the banjo and a dozen other instruments. I have a CB handle. I'm a MENSA member. I'm amatuer radio certified by the FCC 'KE4IOF'. I've literally saved someones life who was injured. I love to go on latenight adventures and roadtrips. My favorite condiment is spicy brown mustard. I will destroy you at trivial pursit and connect 4. I like to settle arguements with a dance-off. I enjoy theorectical Physics. One day I want a dog named Banjo who wears a bandanna and catches frisbees. I'm a PADI certified diver. I love kayaking but I almost kill myself everytime I go. I have a reputation as a social pariah in some circles. I was the mascot for UAB. I can escape from a straight jacket. I have a penchant for monster ballads and hotpants. I helped design software which 90% of podiatrists use. I've taught after school art programs for inner city kids. I'm all about oral hygiene. My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard. I have no problem embarassing myself in public. I've been thrown out of the galleria for rollerblading. I like to make balloon animals. I'm a a big history nerd. I know where in the world Carmen Sandiego is. I think Cosby sweaters are hilarious. I write lots of letters that I can never bring myself to send. I have a million stories. I love pancakes.I have secrets that I'll take to my grave.GO HERE ( LIVEJOURNAL ) yahoo: lakehouseguy AOL:blazecp1