Leilani profile picture

Leilani

Opt in, rock out!

About Me

Don't bother me with impossible perfection. Just give me something which works.

I may seem a small, blonde creature. But I'll meld you with my mind and possibly amuse you with my silliness. Be warned, I'm fascinated with the dark and the odd despite my generic appearance.

I spend my time indulging my curiosity - wherever it's wandered today, though it doesn't always make it past the TV :S I like to play with gadgets and learn about how things work. I also enjoy simple pleasures like eating sugary cereal straight from the box.

When I'm not in my introverted space (singing, venting, reflecting), I like socialising with my friends at their houses, or in my more flushed moments, a pub.

Thoughtful and emotional, I seek out like-minded souls who dodge the disposable ethos. But I'm too sentimental for my own good :S Not sure if I've had years of bad luck or just bad choices. Either way, I don't know what I'm doing.

Sometimes easy going and laid back, other times ambitious and passionate.
Mathematical yet artistic.
Down-to-earth but a dreamer.
Gregarious yet independent.
We all have our contradictions.

'I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying.' - The Shawshank Redemption
'Once in a while, you get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right.' - The Grateful Dead
'Every day is a gift, but does it have to be a pair of socks?' - The Sopranos
'The light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. And you have burned so very very brightly, Roy.' - Bladerunner
'The only way round is through' - Robert Frost
'The thing with Dickie... it's like the sun shines on you, and it's glorious. And then he forgets you and it's very, very cold. When you have his attention, you feel like you're the only person in the world, that's why everybody loves him so much.' - The Talented Mr. Ripley
You need a living flame to light the fire in others.
'I am man. The world is my urinal.' - a bloke from Hellfest
'Your beauty is boring.' - Quarterlife
'Why do we fall, sir? So that we might learn to pick ourselves up.' - Batman Begins
'If I used my parents as a template, I had no reason to believe a marriage, or a man and a woman, or two people could work. I had seen with my own eyes from a young age that love is painful and sad and lonely and messy. Love brings out the worst in people... But music, my constant companion, would never break my heart or love me too little or destroy anything.' - Juliana Hatfield
Most women try too hard or over-compensate because we're afraid that no one will love us.


'Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.' - Simon and Garfunkel


'Is it a kind of dream,
Floating out on the tide,
Following the river of death downstream?
Oh, is it a dream?
There's a fog along the horizon,
A strange glow in the sky,
And nobody seems to know where you go,
And what does it mean?
Oh, is it a dream?' - Simon and Garfunkel (again!)


Don't Confuse:
Motion with Progress
Noise with Information
Information with Knowledge
Knowledge with Wisdom
Implementation with Design
Management with Leadership
Urgency with Importance
Efficiency with Effectiveness
Conversation with Communication
Correlation with Cause
http://www.metacognix.com/mcog/dontconfuse.html


PROCRASTINATION - I know thee well!
Personality: Enneagram Type 4 - The Artist.
Myers-Briggs type INFJ - The Counsellor.
Learning style: abstract-random.
aural (17/20), social (15/20), solitary (15/20)

Layout by CoolChaser

My Interests

going to gigs and music festivals, seeing friends, eating out, going to the cinema, singing, surrealist art, reading, riding roller coasters, cocktails, engaging in good conversation, cooking a bit, cycling, going to see stand-up comedy, architecture, psychology, writing, contemplating (a lost art - slow down and reflect peeps!), learning about life in a way which doesn't end up killing or crushing me, and consuming many many sweets. Spending a lot of my time lately working on songs for my music course. I would like to make more short films (I really need to buy a vid camera and get some cutting software. I spent about 10 mins of my childhood playing with dolls compared with 4 years playing with the vid camera until it's untimely demise! Also miss playing with the remote controlled car - need to get it fixed as I can't afford an adult one). Now that I can drive, I hope to see more of the UK. Want to get re-acquainted with French. Thinking of getting a pet - not allowed a cat, so maybe a hamster. Want to continue learning guitar and other things which don't come naturally, so I can get better. And of course there is the lovely intersurf, which offers me the musical exploration I crave. But don't be offended if I don't complete your quizzes - not my thing. Also, trivia is not my thing at all - give me back-story and a ramble on any day. As in life, conversations have to go somewhere for me to remember them or take interest. Glib facts are quickly forgotten. I support the NSPCC, give blood, and vote (if it actually counts!).

I'd like to meet:

God... I think he could use a slap. Don't you?

Classic vid from my Scunny leaving do in 2005 at the utterly legendary Baths Hall. Jim's classic dancing can't be missed. And drunken Wil breakdancing and falling on everyone. I'm in it a bit too - Wil is my puppet master! Rock on! Thanks Twig.

Music:

Music is my life raft in this violent sea. There are so many bands I have yet to hear. Feel free to expose me to them like a virus my friends (I'm currently angling for the brutal, the sludgy, thrash or prog)! I really need more DOOM! Not getting my fill! I was mentioning this in a CD shop the other day and was told that I am in the wrong country :S
Tool, Opeth, Machine Head, Testament, Paradise Lost, Septic Flesh, System of a Down, Suzanne Vega, Cream, The Kinks, Cult of Luna, The Who, Carcass, Led Zeppelin, The Pixies, Pearl Jam, Neurosis, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Metallica, Headswim, Mastodon, Pink Floyd, Porcupine Tree, The Beatles, At the Gates, Torche, Lacuna Coil, Pantera, Swallow the Sun, Rolling Stones, Prong, The Doors, Juliana Hatfield, Killswitch Engage, Queensryche, Black Sabbath, Green Day, The Gathering, Jane's Addiction, Man Must Die, Faith No More, Jimi Hendrix, Kula Shaker, Down, The Moody Blues, Pelican, Dog Fashion Disco, NIN, Gary Numan, Baroness, Strapping Young Lad and Dev's solo stuff, Skid Row, Smashing Pumpkins, VAST, REM, Quicksand, Katatonia, Slayer, Gloomy Grim, Novembre, Esoteric, A Storm of Light, Behemoth, Anathema, U2, Isis, Jeff Buckley, GNR, In Flames, some Celtic, some traditional music from India and The Orient, some classical, bit of glam, bit of nu-metal, bit of ambient, bit of 80s cheese - if I lose credibility, so be it!

Movies:

Like: Donnie Darko, Shawshank Redemption, Stand By Me, Butterfly Effect, American Psycho, Evil Dead 1 and 2, Sixth Sense, The Young Poisoner's Handbook, This is Spinal Tap, Watership Down, Seven, The Departed, Monster, Silence of the Lambs, Donnie Brasco, The Machinist, The Talented Mr Ripley, The Secret of NIMH, Delicatessen, What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, Last Supper, A Tale of Two Sisters, Alien 1-3, Cube, When Harry Met Sally, Lo Non Ho Paura, Fight Club, 28 Days Later, Garden State, The Matrix, Full Metal Jacket, Minority Report, Lucky Number Slevin, bad horror films, black comedies, character driven films with decent dialogue and unusual plot, atmospheric odd stuff, Cronenberg, Lynch, Raimi, tight scripting, good use of timing and editing, effective cinematography. Dislike: blockbuster script-by-numbers rubbish - gets boring fast, too avant-garde - also gets boring fast, films that are too drawn out which milk every scene - they need more editing, I'm still for hire! Once I have more time, I would love to collaborate on film projects.

Television:

Six Feet Under, Sopranos, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Have I Got News for You, Lost, ER, Father Ted, Prison Break, 24, Blackadder, House, Simpsons, CSI, South Park, old Twilight Zone episodes, Twin Peaks, The Adam & Joe Show, Rex the Runt, My Name is Earl, Python, Shaun the Sheep, X Files, Spaced, Duckman, documentaries, Anatomy for Beginners and Autopsy Life and Death (science for the masses - much needed, and cutting up dead bodies! Gunther looks like death warmed up himself which makes it particularly effective 'I cut! I cut!'), short films and animations (though I've been watching these on the internet lately - Atom Films, Happy Tree Friends, Channel 4 - love having broadband). No reality TV (except for the Apprentice - that's good) or soaps!

Books:

A Separate Peace by John Knowles, To Kill a Mockingbird, George Orwell, Robert Cormier, Poe, A Guide to Rational Living, The Inner Game of Tennis (even though I don't play), The Straight Dope (fighting ignorance since 1973!), Enough - Breaking Free from the World of More. Fiction: thrillers, clever humour and satire, fairy tales (the original, gory ones!), Greek mythology, emotive novels, mostly contemporary but intend to read more of the classics. Non-fiction: finance, politics, psychology. I have a long list of books to read which I'm slowly working through. Otherwise, I just read newspapers and music magazines occasionally. Not interested in celebrity gossip.

Heroes:

People who try to leave the world in a better state than they found it.
BILL HICKS

My Blog

Kind of hit a wall

So, I've got some music software installed. I've got my midi controller working. Still waiting for a few bits but can start composing at home. Or so I thought. But, it turns out my computer is TOO SLO...
Posted by Leilani on Fri, 17 Oct 2008 01:20:00 PST

My headspace

I'm feeling frustrated. There's a lot I want to do. I have melodies without lyrics, lyrics without melodies. There are about seven songs I could try to record. But there is pressure on me to record th...
Posted by Leilani on Tue, 30 Sep 2008 10:44:00 PST

Far beyond driven

Tonight was Stone Soup, the music mixing course I'm doing. I've been very frustrated with it, as I haven't been able to create the sounds I desire. But tonight I finally had a break-through and am fee...
Posted by Leilani on Thu, 28 Aug 2008 05:05:00 PST

To an old friend

So creative, so attractive, so intelligent, it's sad.The loss of all the potential that you once had.But your past, it runs you, so much like your dad.The drugs have stripped all of you away.The lump ...
Posted by Leilani on Sat, 23 Aug 2008 09:31:00 PST

There are bigger things

I'm a bit bruised, bit of inner pain, a bit pissed off but can't complain. Well...I had a verbal warning at work today over nothing much at all. I grow weary of this making big things out of tiny shit...
Posted by Leilani on Thu, 21 Aug 2008 03:56:00 PST

Going nowhere

I have always moved around. Always. The longest I lived anywhere was 11 years  where I grew up in Florida. But, I moved around different schools in different cities with different people. And I never...
Posted by Leilani on Fri, 01 Aug 2008 02:23:00 PST

Maybe Im less confused than I thought

Do you see my smile? How can I be shitting on you when I'm smiling?It's bizarre when some people imply that I have things backward because trying to live with integrity and honesty is not a popular ch...
Posted by Leilani on Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:34:00 PST

Another enneagram test with many many more questions, so its apparently more accurate

This was a more detailed test: http://www.9types.com/newtest/homepage.actual.html Most of my answers were type 4. So I guess I got it wrong before. Hmmm& I'm super fucking emo!  Doomed I tell y...
Posted by Leilani on Mon, 14 Jul 2008 01:43:00 PST

The Fragile

She shines in a world full of ugliness. She matters when everything is meaningless. Fragile... She doesn't see her beauty. She tries to get away. Sometimes it's just that nothing seems worth saving. ...
Posted by Leilani on Wed, 25 Jun 2008 12:00:00 PST

The dance

The dance of ambiguity of maybe and could be. The hope and insecurity that for all but one  something will come of the to and the fro. But we all know... The trance of the ...
Posted by Leilani on Tue, 03 Jun 2008 05:04:00 PST