Whomever will pay my rent...and also that chick at the gym.
If you're a quick-witted wise-ass, you're pretty much in: Bill Murray, Howard Stern, David Letterman, Larry David, Garry Shandling, Norm MacDonald, David Spade, Jesse Ventura, Bobby Heenan, Mel Brooks, John McEnroe, George Carlin, Benny Hill, Han Solo, Alex P. Keaton, Detective Axel Foley, John McClane, Hans Gruber, Colonial Marine Private W. Hudson, Dudley Dawson, Captain James T. Kirk, Louie De Palma, Mel Horowitz, Detective David Mills, Thornton Melon, Lt. Daniel Kaffee, Clark Devereaux, Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding, the entire A-Team, Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable, Jeff Spicoli, John Bender, Det. Sgt. Matthew Sykes, Ty Webb, Fred Sanford, The Terminator, Winston Wolfe, Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, Guy Gardner, Mike Peters, Trent Walker, U.S. Marshal Samuel Gerard, U.S. Deputy Marshal Cosmo Renfro, Wolverine, James Bond, Daniel Ocean, Spinal Tap, Clarence Boddicker, Randal Graves, Banky Edwards, Lex Luthor, Perry White, Martin Riggs, Roger Murtaugh, Leo Getz, Martin Blank, Comic Book Guy, David Hogan, Albert Gibson, James Evans Jr., Ferris Bueller, Austin Millbarge, Emmett Fitz-Hume, Team Zectek.com, Dr. Jonathan Katz, The Sweathogs, Dieter, Nat X, Hanz, Franz, Beavis, Butt-Head, Statler, Waldorf, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, and Ali G.