I consider myself to be like a fine French wine that has been aged well in a subterranean vault, only to be sold to a dip shit from the heartland that is trying to impress Rebecca from Accounts Receivable with his intense love for the finer things. Which he learned from Wine For Dummies and the Idiots Guide to The Finer Things (Both can be found in the self help section on Amazon.com) I also like long walks at sunset.
Dead Talent.
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My twin
Strong like Bull
God I Look Great
The me of my dreams
If this scares you don't click here
Sexy didn't leave on my watch
Smart
Talented
I Killed J.Brown to become hardest working man in show biz
If you want my style secert click here
No, I really I'm a dyke
Southern Me
Me as a teacher
Me as a Boulder pothead in Vodka Red Bull's clothing
Water Me
I will beat you with my Baton Rouge
Can I get any better than this?
Look I got a Buffalo Nickel, to bad I stole it from a dead indian.
And on drums, Me.
We all know that my BFF is me, so stop asking to be it. It's sad.
Army of Me
The West Jeff Middle School 7th Grade Gospel Choir. Conifer High School Tabernacle Choir All of The ESPN albums, what is better than cumming to Rocking Roll Part 2.
Anything with a bartender standing on a bar that is six deep, hushing the masses, and saying "I am the last barman poet / I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make / Americans getting stinky on something I stir or shake" and he doesn't get fired.
Don't sit so close, you might go numb.
Are things to burn when you are feeling lonely. Try it. It really does warm you up.
Bill Hicks, Norm MacDonald, anyone who left Conifer, anyone who can tell me what a call back is, anyone waiting tables or slinging drinks that has a degree. Girls that fucked the Quarterback, Girls that tried to fuck the Quarterback, the Quarterback with STD's, don't worry I wont tell anyone. Iona. David Cross, Doug Stanhope, anyone else that thinks that Larry The Cable Guy is the worst scum sucking hack comedian on the planet.