2007 Slap Poetry Finalists! |
Last week, the Espresso C. Merquator Fellowship got off their septuagenarian butts and announced the five finalists in what should be, but isn't yet, the most prestigious in all poetry awards: quarte...
Posted by Plywood On The Hens on Sat, 26 May 2007 12:21:00 PST |
Win A Brazillion!! |
VOICEOVER: Welcome to "Win A Brazillion!", the world's most ridiculously-popular game show! And now, here's Your Host: Egregious T. Botulism! BOTULISM comes running out to the host podium, holding ...
Posted by Plywood On The Hens on Sun, 22 Apr 2007 01:50:00 PST |
Out Of Character No. 4: 1,000 Steps |
OK, yes. I turned 35 today. To me, that is no big deal. But, by a strange bit of synchronicity, I also have 1,000 days of continuous sobriety today. That is a much bigger deal, because without the lat...
Posted by Plywood On The Hens on Thu, 19 Apr 2007 01:20:00 PST |
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful... |
Hate me because I shot the deputy, but not the sheriff.Hate me because I stole all your toothpaste and replaced it with Folger's Crystals.Hate me because I wrote the Book of Love...and plagiarized.Hat...
Posted by Plywood On The Hens on Mon, 16 Apr 2007 06:22:00 PST |
Set Stuff On Fire! |
The following was published in this month's edition of Burnt Sienna magazine, ostensibly as a Tribute to the Native American Spirit. It was written by slam poet and part-time derelict Jackson Spratman...
Posted by Plywood On The Hens on Tue, 10 Apr 2007 12:10:00 PST |
CSI: Tulsa (pt 2 of 2) |
SCENE THREE: THE INVESTIGATION A police station, unlike any that actually exists in the real world. KNOBLAUB and BAYONETS walk down an immaculate corridor of glass and steel. THROBBINGS, walking th...
Posted by Plywood On The Hens on Mon, 09 Apr 2007 07:01:00 PST |
CSI: Tulsa (part 1 of 2) |
SCENE ONE: THE CRIME A high-rise hotel suite. The balcony door is open. White curtains flutter in the breeze. A menacing series of computer-generated low whole notes comprises the score (composed b...
Posted by Plywood On The Hens on Sun, 08 Apr 2007 10:33:00 PST |
There There |
Some of you with exceptionally sharp memories and a serious lack of hobbies may remember a previous bulletin in which I suggested that since so many people seem to be incapable of using the words "you...
Posted by Plywood On The Hens on Sun, 11 Mar 2007 05:26:00 PST |
Something old-skool for the kids... |
Elderly MacDonald possessed an agricultural facilityE I E I OAnd upon the aforementioned facility Elderly MacDonald lodged a bovineE I E I OWith a low guttural moan recurring locallyAnd a low guttura...
Posted by Plywood On The Hens on Tue, 27 Feb 2007 04:16:00 PST |
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Posted by Plywood On The Hens on Sat, 24 Feb 2007 08:37:00 PST |
