Hi, my real name's Anakin but mates just call me Darth for short. There's a story there, basically involving growing up in a sandy dump, where I drove unfeasibly fast vehicles and whooped irritatingly. I blew some shit up somehow and gained credit for it when it was clearly an accident I was lucky to survive. As I became a teenager I became an arsehole with an attitude problem and a fucking awful haircut, but luckily I got burnt nearly to death by Obi Wan, so I don't have to worry about hair anymore. I started to concentrate more on being a total bastard, fascism and galactic domination with my best mate, a wrinkled psychopath who sits grinning for pretty much all of the time. He used to be more mobile and talkative, but he messed up trying to electrocute Mace and ended up melting a bit. My hobbies include breathing heavily, killing my wife and burning horribly but I've been known to blow up planets and have children as well. Well I thought there was only one, but apparantly there's two and they snogged which I'm not sure I'm happy about to be honest but maybe I'm just getting old. What else? Oh yes I kill kids as well. And sand people but I'm not sure anyone cared about that. Padme certainly didn't but I was too busy having a hissy fit to care about her inexplicable reaction to my newfound penchant for horrible slaughter. My pet hates are being treated like a noob by Jedi wankers and children crying on planes, and I enjoy being angry and violent. Want to know anymore? Just ask.
Star Wars Horoscope for Aquarius
