Keep It Bitchin' profile picture

Keep It Bitchin'

Yeah, I get that a lot

About Me

The important thing to know is that if I show up on your doorstep unannounced with coloring books, bouillon cubes, and a cattleprod you don't ask any questions.

My Interests

cheese. the Old World. Fendi. Leveling Orange County and resurrecting Constantinople. Also...illustrators for the Watchtower and Awake magazine.

I'd like to meet:

People like me. People so good-looking that when they see themselves in the mirror they almost pass out. People that understand that the Black-Eyed Peas are not a band but a highly trained group of assassins. People with outfits so bad that after I see them I'll have to lie down. People that might need the assistance of the A-Team to make themselves a sandwich. People too busy being rad to give a shit about anything. People that understand that there are too many celebrities and we need to take some of those motherfuckers out. People ready to renounce lifetime commitments over a microwave burrito. If you're reading this it's probably too late for you. Grab your running shoes, I'll give you an eleven second head-start. And, WOW, NOT people that are online 24/7 and update their everything every five minutes. Do you people not read books? Do you people not have sex?

Music:

Let's see. From Mahler to Ween. That pretty much covers it. I'm not going to list every band I've ever heard of. I'm not going to put up dozens of pretty pictures so that it takes five minutes to load my page. I could but I won't and you can't make me.

Movies:

City of God, Henry and June, Memento, The Royal Tenenbaums, La Dolce Vita, American Beauty, Fear and Loathing, Raising Arizona, Baron Munchausen, All the Real Girls, LOTR triology, Elizabeth, About Schmidt, Before Night Falls, Nosferatu, Monty Python, 8 1/2, Barfly, The Constant Gardner, Harold and Maude, You Me and Everybody We Know, Portrait of a Lady, Yo Tu Mama Tambien, The Big Lebowski, Suspiria, The Pianist, Dangerous Liaisons, Velvet Goldmine, Shaun of the Dead, The City of Lost Children, Trainspotting, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, How to Draw a Bunny, A Clockwork Orange, Mr T's Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool. You know. The same shit everybody likes. Not exactly reinventing the wheel here.

Television:

The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Adult Swim, The Office, The Mighty Boosh. I'll refrain from saying something sarcastic or inserting the disclaimer about how television is evil.

Books:

A Hero of Our Time. V. You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense. The Rosy Crucifixion. Like Being Dead. Franny and Zooey. Gargantua and Pantagruel. Cat's Cradle.

Heroes:

Neil Diamond. Mary Shelley. Screech. The asian kid from Goonies. Bukowski. Ferris Bueller.

My Blog

Big Wow

Big Changes for Cotylosaurus. I begin a new job Monday, not teaching related, but a definite step-up in the ol paycheck.Who knows, maybe it could eventually lead to something I'm passionate about. O...
Posted by Keep It Bitchin' on Sat, 07 Jun 2008 08:22:00 PST

best insult ever

You’re a big bag of fag. As far as I know, I coined this so-obvious-why-didn’t-I-think-of-it phrase and expect royalties of 25 cents American everytime you use it. Amanda, doing her part t...
Posted by Keep It Bitchin' on Fri, 04 Apr 2008 09:07:00 PST

Sober

Ah yes, sobriety. A term and a state of consciousness I don’t think I’ve embracedsince dinosaurs ruled the Earth, or at least since grunge did. Thanks to thepredilections of my loadie bff ...
Posted by Keep It Bitchin' on Fri, 04 Apr 2008 09:01:00 PST

the horror

Let me tell you a little something about my job: Its all right.      Dont get paid a lot, true.  At least now.  Dont do much either.  On a typical day I answer th...
Posted by Keep It Bitchin' on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST