Essin' Em at www.essin-em.com profile picture

Essin' Em at www.essin-em.com

I have a cat, cable and a vibrator....what makes you think you can compete?

About Me


I edited my profile with Thomas Myspace Editor V3.6 !
Check out my awesome website which has all sorts of exciting things, from toy reviews, thoughts (and rants) on sexuality, erotica, amusing videos, archives of my sex tips column, news stories regarding sexuality, as well as links to other sex blogs, and sex positive people.
It may not link ya, so check out www.essin-em.com.
I am; a nerd, a college graduate, a Master's of Education candidate (graduate as of 08/08!), a feminist, a daughter, a sister, queer, a Femme, open to all genders, attracted to whomever I am attracted to, interested in human sexuality, a cat owner and lover, a former hedgehog owner, eclectic, unique, allergic to pink, a vegetarian, a figure skater, a former hockey player, a CC hockey fan, an insommniac, leaving Philly, headed back to Colorado, an internet addict, a non-smoker, an agnostic, a Jew, a jewish mother in training, a minister for the Universal Life Church, a friend, an enemy, a best friend, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, a counselor, a kid, an adult, a woman, a female, a sexual assault survivor, someone working to prevent sexual assault, a dancer, a chocoholic, a crime show watcher, a Buffy lover, a chick-flick hater, a cook, a sleep lover, a lover of girly drinks and wine, someone who loves to shake it with the best of them, someone who drops it like it's hot, a nanny, a theatre teacher, a sexuality educator hopeful, a roller derby referee and lover, someone who loves to drive naked (as well as be naked!), a former sex columist/sex tips writer, a porn viewer, a marketing assistant, a community outreach assistant, a sex blogger, someone in the adult entertainment industry that isn't in the movies (yet?), a sex toy reviewer, a writer...and much much more.
I work full time, and I'm a full time graduate student (until August!). And I played roller derby -- now I ref, after my 3rd knee surgery. Add doctors visits (from le car accident) in there somewhere. Plus, I'm trying to see everything I can in Philly before I move back to CO. When people ask me what I do for a living, I say "I'm busy".
Use the code 2QW on check out to get 15% off!
Since I've been asked, here are top three adult films in each category (ask if you're looking for a specific genre, and I'll be more specifc myself):
Straight:
1. Afrodite Superstar
2. The Re-Penetrator
3. Fistful of Musketeers
Queer:
1. Working Girlz
2. Full Load
3. After School Special and Turn Me Up, Over and On
Studios I LOVE
Comstock Films (Sexumentaries)
Hogtied.com
Candida Royalle/Femme Productions
Trannywood Pictures
Fatale Media
Pink and White
Erockta Vision
Really like me? Want to buy me cute clothes? Here's a link to Torrid WishLists - just enter my email ([email protected]). Or do you want to glance at my book/movie/jewelry/cooking stuff/cat toy cravings? Check out my .
Yes, I work for/in the sexuality industry. No, I'm not *in* the movies or have sex for a living (but not because I don't want to). But yes, I do get to enjoy adult entertainment/sex/porn/etc on a daily basis. Problem with this? Go away.
I have more sex toys than you could ever dream of owning. Deal with it. Want to have some too? Click above!
Want me to review a product (toy/movie/book/???)?? Email me at EssinEm at Gmail dot Com.

My Interests

I like this music; the Smashing Pumpkins, Mirah, Quiet Riot, Gwen Stefani, Big Bad VooDoo Daddy, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Nirvana, the Aquabats, Gogol Bordello, Garbage, Pearl Jam, the Cranberries, ATB, Tool, Ayla, DJ Tiesto, Bad Boy Bill, Dresden Dolls, the Mansfileds, Trans-siberian Orchestra, RHCP, Modest Mouse, the Killers, Green Day, BNL, Bach, Gunther, U2, ABBA, Bon Jovi, Snow Patrol, Pepper, Paul Oakenfold (old stuff), Lorena McKennet, 80's dance music, Sasha and Digweed, Blue man group, punk covers, the Echo, Irene's March, Save Ferris, Alanis, Flogging Molly, the Dropkick Murphies, No Doubt, Brian Setzer, The Briggs, Panic! at the Disco, Audioslave, Jet, Seal, J Geils Band, Fallout Boy, Rancid, a Perfect Circle, All American Rejects, the Brunettes, Deathcab for Cutie, Astray, and so much more. Lots of swing music, alternative, trance, and German Music: Wir Sind Helden, Christina Sturmer, Silbermond, Schnappi, Fettes Brot.

Other things I like: crime shows, CSI (all three), the L-Word, the Tudors, Project Runway, Without a Trace, Cold Case, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Close to Home, Dead Like Me, Stargate, Redwall, Buffy, Agatha Christie, Patricia C Wrede, Anne McCaffery, Orson Scott Card, Tamora Pierce, The Band Never Dances, historical romance novels, tea (loose), chocolate, white russians, grasshoppers (the drink), mojitos, buttery nipples, bailey's, peppermint schnapps in hot chocolate, good white wine, soup in a bread bowl, fries with buffalo sauce, chocolate, peppermint, dolmades, fondue, feeling safe, sushi, saag paneer, naan, noodles and co, falafel, latkes, cuddling, cats, animals, snuggling, spooning, forking, sporking, making out, boys, girls, trusting, feeling like I'm not alone, snickers, laughing, reading, star gazing, making snow devils, dressing up, wearing PJs, wearing cat ears, wearing devil horns, running around naked, kissing, tickling, driving, American Beauty, Kinsey, Secretary, Monty Python (all three plus the Flying Circus), Bang Bang You're Dead, Der Untergang, Coming Soon, Love Actually, Gosford Park, Coupling, Hetty Wainthrop, Mystery, Degrassi:the next generation, Pimp Mein Fahrad, alles Deutsch, German, Hebrew, Jew Crew, breasts (particularly my own), hipbones, punk girls, ruggers, hockey players with all their teeth, guys who hug properly, people that kiss properly, endorphin highs, IHOP at 3am, Pumpkin pancakes with chocolate chips, watching the goalies stretch at the hockey games (and do the splits, and save shots..and just be goalies), dancing in the rain, driving naked, acting, tech work, taking cat naps with my cat, talking about sex, sambuca, tattoos, piercings, king sized beds, knitting, being appreciated.

Orgasms.

I'd like to meet:

People I can't meet: Kinsey (As in Alfred P, not my cat), my father again, Agatha Christie, Nina Hartley, Bettie Page, Annie Sprinkle, Joanna Angel, Anne McCaffery, Matthew Grey Gubler, David Krumholtz, Billy Corrigan, and more.

As a friend: Anyone open minded...who doesn't mind hearing about sex. It happens.
Sex buddies. But I am so not into bio guys right now, it's not even funny. I'm a QUEER FEMME DYKE. All genders, feel free to drop me a line. I'm kinky (bottom/sub). I'm safe. I'm a hell of a lot of fun.
New friends!

Music:

I hate; pink, heights, spiders, snakes, people who are closed minded, people who want to control women, people who want to control women's bodies, homophobia, transphobia, fat-phobia, rapists, onions, scallions, haunted houses, horror movies, roller coasters, death, being alone, my family driving me crazy, people who try to snuggle when it's 102 degrees, knee surgeries, getting infected with things like cellulitis, breaking my tailbone...twice, my windshield wipers freezing to my windshield, sketchy people messaging me...and so on.

Movies:

I want; to feel safe, to love, to be loved, to be trusted, to trust, chocolate, a significant other I like, to want to cuddle, to make out, to sleep for a week, to get my Master's by summer 2008, to move back to Colorado, to move to California or Oregon or Washington for a bit, not to have another knee surgery, for my knee(s) to be better, to dye my hair, to hang out with more guys like I used to, to not fight, to find someone that understands me, black roses, sterling roses, another tattoo....

Television:

I have; more than I deserve. Not enough. Too much. A head full of thoughts and not enough time to write them all down.

Books:

Current book I'm reading:
Some Agatha Christie. I'm on vacation, ok?

Book I just finished:
Sex Writing 2008 (love it; great though and intellect in this baby)

Heroes:

My father (1947-1999). My grandparents who survived Auschwitz, Bergen-Belsen, Buchenwald and Treblinka. My cat who just chills all day and still gives me unconditional love. Kate Bornstein. Leslie Feinberg. Anne Fausto-Sterling. Nina Hartley. Judith Butler. Dacia Ray. Jamye Waxman. Candida Royalle.

My Blog

If you live in Colorado, $45/one hour massage special!

Erin Van Horn, CMT, has recently moved to a new office, and in celebration, is having an AMAZING special! That's right - one hour massages are ONLY $45 (and if you've had a massage, you know that's a ...
Posted by Essin' Em at www.essin-em.com on Wed, 22 Oct 2008 10:20:00 PST

I need YOUR help!

I'm going to be re-launching Essin-Em.com in the near future, and am trying to put together a "Best Of" page. The hottest stories, the funniest V-blogs, the most though provoking posts, the cutest pi...
Posted by Essin' Em at www.essin-em.com on Tue, 02 Sep 2008 02:17:00 PST

I’ve been a bad bad girl...

And haven't updated in forever. I know. Bad me.But you can always read all my updates, thoughts, reviews, rants, news, erotica, etc, at www.essin-em.comSo why the heck aren't you there?-EE...
Posted by Essin' Em at www.essin-em.com on Sat, 31 May 2008 10:07:00 PST

Sex toy review: Dual Use S Shape

I was lucky enough to get to review the Dual S Shape by Nob Essence.  And it was good.  So good, in fact, that I think that it might be indeed as good as the NJoy Pure Wand. Which is pretty ...
Posted by Essin' Em at www.essin-em.com on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 10:58:00 PST

Sex toy review: Unicorn Horn

Ok, so I know it’s another mostly white on white picture.  Sorry, that’s how Eden rolls.But that aside, um, hello, it’s a freaking UNICORN HORN.  Further more, it’s a...
Posted by Essin' Em at www.essin-em.com on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 10:57:00 PST

Movie Review: Couchsurfers - Transmen in Action

As probably all of you know, I am a feminist. And as many of you know, I love (hot and ethical) porn.  Yup, that’s right folks, I am a feminist who loves porn!  Luckily for me, Trannyw...
Posted by Essin' Em at www.essin-em.com on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 10:54:00 PST

Sex Toy Review: G-pod

Woo-hoo!  Check out my G-pod review     So y'all know how much I love the Hitachi?  It's gotten even better; I am now the happy owner of one of the coolest new Hitachi Ca...
Posted by Essin' Em at www.essin-em.com on Tue, 19 Feb 2008 10:30:00 PST

Happy Singles Awareness Day/Valentines

Taken from my blog at www.Essin-Em.comHappy S.A.D and Valentine's Day!  For all of you in satisfactory/satisfying relationships; Happy Valentine's Day!  Keep on with the luuuuuv.For all of y...
Posted by Essin' Em at www.essin-em.com on Thu, 14 Feb 2008 10:10:00 PST

Sex toy review: Under the Bed Bondage System

Alright, it's time for another rocking sex toy review from none other than the fabulous Extreme Restraints, fetish and sex toy company that loves me (and whom I love).What am I reviewing now?Something...
Posted by Essin' Em at www.essin-em.com on Wed, 24 Oct 2007 05:49:00 PST

Sex toy review: For your Nymphomation Toy chest

Ok, so I know when you hear the words "toy chest," you get all giddy and excited and warm inside. How do I know? Because I sure as hell do. Now put the word adult in front of it; "ADULT toy chest." Th...
Posted by Essin' Em at www.essin-em.com on Mon, 15 Oct 2007 12:53:00 PST