illery profile picture

illery

salty 4 life.

About Me

i'm a self-obsessed nobody/social butterfly with a penchant for destructive behavior and bad decision-making. you really should get to know me.

My Interests

instant gratification, daydreaming, make-up, hunting down mixtapes, competition, kicking ass, taking names, snap decisions, ill-fated relationships, reassurance, dancing, hypochondria, trying to be as irritating as possible on purpose, succeeding, making up new words, knocking on wood, instant karma, war stories, NPR, rocco siffredi (nasty, nasty), color, deviancy, self-fulfilling prophecies, running with scissors, shooting myself in the foot, 4/4 beats and amen breaks, cyclical thinking, robots, hygiene, pharmacology, playing the devil's advocate, cliches, black and tans, living the good life, slumming it, making an ass out of you and me, giving, receiving, japanese clothes, dressing like an enormous asshole, the word "ass", crewel, gloomy bear (mori chack in general), near death experiences, making lara cry, french onion soup, creamsicles, cupcakes, having my cake, eating it too, public urination, the duality of human nature, yard sales, mad-libs, sneakers, various vices, vice magazine's do's and don'ts, consumerism, my job, working far too many hours, insomnia, and sailing on my freakin' yacht.

My Blog

mr. traffic guard update.

mr. traffic guard has been m.i.a. for the past week. i think i willed him dead. i feel a little guilty. not really, but hey. wouldn't that be something? i've got the power. oh SNAP....
Posted by illery on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 06:34:00 PST

oh balls.

so, skeezix asked me to do this 10 little known facts bit the other day. i put it off, but now in keeping with that spirit, i'm going to put off my homework by filling this out. 1. my room is pai...
Posted by illery on Fri, 06 Apr 2007 07:26:00 PST

god help us all.

a co-worker of mine (who will remain anonymous) has told me in the past that he has never used a condom and never been tested for std's. he's in his late 30's. gross. granted, i don't think he's a win...
Posted by illery on Mon, 26 Mar 2007 01:46:00 PST

i love life.

conversation between my boyfriend's (seriously awesome) grandfather and myself that took place earlier today at a family birthday party: grandfather: so, i hear you take care of the retarded. me:...
Posted by illery on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 09:13:00 PST

dear mr. traffic guard at the end of my street,

dear mr. traffic guard at the end of my street, hello. my name is hilary agnes. you may not know who i am, but i've been making a point of directing death glares at you every morning fo...
Posted by illery on Fri, 09 Mar 2007 01:49:00 PST

will needs to get some pt. 547.5


Posted by illery on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 02:23:00 PST

will needs to get some.


Posted by illery on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 07:46:00 PST

eww.

i've been a perv magnet for as long as i can remember. i've learned to cope.  so, it comes as no surprise that as soon as i post a normal picture of myself it sends out a signal&nb...
Posted by illery on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 04:56:00 PST

let me find out...

that you've fucked me over. i won't hesitate ... to rub plum tomatoes into my eyes. then i'll scream, "oh god, it burns!" and run to the kitchen sink and stick my face under the faucet. it won't be pr...
Posted by illery on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 03:57:00 PST

3 things i hate about life.

1. vanity plates: i was once told that new hampshire has the most vanity plates per capita of any state in the union, which was oddly comforting. at least i have reason to believe that i won't encount...
Posted by illery on Fri, 05 Jan 2007 03:09:00 PST