Mitchell

Since I live in LA and I'm not an actor, I have no other choice but to be a musician. I have a nifty studio near Universal City called "Crafty" where I spend most of my time when I'm not sleeping. I record and produce and stuff like that. If you're some kind of musician type and you need this kinda thing, you could contact me (soon I'll make a web site to show the place off).
I have this cool band called Celebutante, which is a modernized new wave thing that sounds sorta like The Faint and New Order. Please go check out our music at www.celebusite.com , or add us here at www.myspace.com/celebutantemusic . You should then buy the record when it comes out, come to our shows, tell all your friends, and generally do everything in your power to assure me a fine career in the rock star business. Here's our video:
WHAT MITCH REALLY LOVES ABOUT MYSPACE: Really cool myspace pages that take a half hour to load and then attempt to display 137 pics, play five videos, seven songs, animated puppies, dolphins, bunnies and hearts, seventeen mismatched illegible fonts which are always selected for complete lack of contrast (red text doesn't work on red background, stupid), and best of all I love when this whole mess CRASHES MY WEB BROWSER, which invariably occurs (Safari on Mac folks, it's fun). Believe me, as I'm force-quitting my browser, I'm REALLY thinking about how KEWL U R!!! (I really dig the broken quasi-english retarded web shorthand... UR so smart!).
I have an addendum to the above:
More kewel stuff: I tremendously enjoy when letters of your name are vertically spelling out all the fine facets of your exciting personality. Oh it's so keeyoot! And listen people "YOU ARE" not Carrie from Sex In The City, or Lara Kroft, or one of the dumb bitches from Friends. You are just you. Which in all likelihood isn't very interesting.
And finally, the worst offense of all... if you have six paragraphs breaking down who can be your friend, who can't be, the forty seven qualifications to be your friend, why you may or may not deem that person friend-worthy, what you're looking for, what you're not looking for, how many hairs are on your boyfriend's big toe because you don't want to meet anyone up here because you two idiots are so happy, the approximate number of days, hours, minutes and seconds before you review your overflowing mailbox of friend requests, etc... then myspace "A PLACE FOR FRIENDS", may not be the place for you, friendseeker... you want people to stay the fuck away from you. Which is really just fine. But you MAY just want to keep your antisocial bullshit complex to yourself. I am here for you with the free advice. You may now return to littering your page with animated bunnies and illegible misspelled text.
ADDENDUM: Now that I've made fun of a lot people for their policies on adding people... if I can't figure out any obvious reason why you want me to be your friend (such as, I met you in real life, you're a Berlin fan, etc...), I won't add you. It's not that I have delusions that you're stalking me or some nonsense, it's just that I don't want 1500 friends that I don't know (and if there was a popularity contest, I'd lose anyway, up here or in real life :)..