The Middle Finger of Freedom

About Me

I believe beggars are the only voice for change left in this country. I don't believe in lasers. I believe people who complain about cellphones are "so 1999." I don't believe getting older sucks. I believe in a thing called love. I don't believe in a thing called gay marraige. Wait, yes I do. I believe in taking the road less traveled. But not if it's unpaved or poorly lit. That would be just plain old bad judgement. I don't believe 1986 was Buckner's fault. I believe roller coasters are a fascinating dichotomy of both the genius and stupidity of all humanity. I don't believe it's necessary to look out for #1, except when you're in the men's room and there are puddles of it everywhere. I don't believe in making mistakes; I only believe in happy accidents. I believe we are all little hairs on the ass of God. And I think I'll leave it at that, because I don't believe I've ever been able to come to a better conclusion.
You Are Kermit
Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know.
You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems.
Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green.
Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies! The Muppet Personality Test

My Interests

Drawing. Writing of all shapes and sizes. Sneakers. Dancing. Karaoke. Playing scientist. My green hat. Carolyson. The New York Times. Jolks and laughing. Muttering under my breath in French. The Family. Making shit up and talking out of my ass. Singing songs about the old country with Jon. Hardcore motherfuckers who take it slow. Giving/receiving hugs. Climbing on stuff. Doing what I think I can't do. Rational discussions about complicated subjects. Helping my friends if they need help, but preferably not when they're moving. Talking too much. My sweatshirt. Singing Guns N' Roses in the shower. Daydreaming. Women. Trying to understand how money works. Fist fighting with Tristan. A long walk. Memories of taking a long walk. Writing random myspace comments. Thinking about getting a pet aligator. Getting a haircut. Quiet time.

Music:

Songs about sweating and all its various causes. And Stevie Wonder.

Movies:

I like shit with magic, explosions, Paul Newman, black people, and happy endings of all kinds.

Television:

I'm too good for television. Except Chapelle's Show. And the Daily Show. And the Colbert Report. And Sportscenter, while I'm at it. Oh, and sometimes I watch Saturday Night Live. And the Simpsons, and the Family Guy, but that goes without saying. I think the Venture Brothers are funny as shit. Because shit can be quite funny, especially after eating corn. Oh, and I watch the news every night. So don't try to pull one on me, I'm watching your ass, governor. And I watch Comedy Central and the Cartoon Network constantly. But other than that, I don't watch a lot of television. Like I said, I'm too good for it. Except American Idol.

Books:

Well, I never read the New Testament in full, but I like that it leaves the story open for a sequel.

Heroes:

Righteous Gentiles. Bayard Rustin. Gandhi, mostly for that fantastic moustache. Emma Goldman. Mugsey Bogues. Axl Rose. Harper Lee. Paul Newman. Doodlebug. Ernie, but not Bert. Andre the Giant. Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Blind people who can play the piano. Anybody that break dances. The American flag. And Betsy Ross for giving us all that righteous symbol.

My Blog

My Official Resume

Adam WollenbergSexual [email protected] Objective: To find a job that allows me enough free time to hunt the killers of my sensei, Tony Sensei. Job Experience: June 200...
Posted by The Middle Finger of Freedom on Thu, 28 Jun 2007 11:35:00 PST

If life were a trampoline I would never stop jumping

Sometimes, when I'm alone, and the day has gone to dusk and settled into night and my body finally has come to rest, I like to think about the world. I'd like to believe I am a hopeful person, and th...
Posted by The Middle Finger of Freedom on Fri, 08 Jun 2007 05:47:00 PST

Welcome to the real world, son. Don't forget to pack a knife.

So...a year out of college (albeit for the second time) and I have reached the following conclusions about life:1. Do not eat after 8:00 pm.2. Do not argue with the police.3. Gremlins aren't real, at ...
Posted by The Middle Finger of Freedom on Sat, 02 Sep 2006 10:37:00 PST

Take that, Adam Wollenberg: Web Developer!

Finally, after a long, hard struggle, I am the first thing that pops up when you google Adam Wollenberg. So I won't have to assasinate the poor web developer Adam Wollenberg who lives in upstate New ...
Posted by The Middle Finger of Freedom on Fri, 28 Jul 2006 12:57:00 PST

Maybe it's the drugs talking, but I need more drugs.

Last night I was at the bar and my friend Hisham told me: "Adam, you Zionist bastard," he's an Arab which is why he calls me that, "look, you are good at arguing. You're very good at arguing. But some...
Posted by The Middle Finger of Freedom on Wed, 24 May 2006 03:46:00 PST

Sometimes when I hear the President speak, I understand why we have the Second Amendment.

My transformation from dork to total nerd is finally complete. I watched Howl's Moving Castle. It sucked. I really don't like Miyazaki's movies, except for Princess Mononoke, which ...
Posted by The Middle Finger of Freedom on Fri, 31 Mar 2006 03:05:00 PST

If you live in a vacuum, you will be crushed

So last night my brilliant ideas got shot down yet again by a silly little thing called "public opinion." As many of you may know, I am having a metaphorical lovechild in the fall with my imagin...
Posted by The Middle Finger of Freedom on Sat, 18 Feb 2006 11:49:00 PST

I mean, really...

How many times do I have to wish somebody God Bless when they sneeze? Because really I don't want to wish them a God bless at all. Sneezing's disgusting. And isn't it a little petty ...
Posted by The Middle Finger of Freedom on Tue, 07 Feb 2006 03:29:00 PST

Here in my car...

Alright! I'm the third article that pops up when you google "Adam Wollenberg." #1, here I come! Watch out, Adam Wollenberg, webmaster! Yeah. I saw that picture of you and Ted DiBiase...
Posted by The Middle Finger of Freedom on Thu, 02 Feb 2006 11:55:00 PST

Hm. Didn't expect that to happen...

I've got a goddamn song stuck in my head. You...Soft and onlyYou...Lost and lonelyYou...Just like heaven Maybe I shouldn't have listened to it three consecutive times this morning. Alas, it's t...
Posted by The Middle Finger of Freedom on Wed, 01 Feb 2006 11:04:00 PST