I come from Birmingham England.
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Midgets, halitosis, keeping bogroll in the freezer incase of ring-sting, loud amplifiers, laying cable, smackheads, semi lob-ons, 30%, bonfires, blowing stuff up, talking complete and utter shit whilst making a bit of sense at the same time, twisted self-deprecating narcissism combined with paranoid low self-esteem and distorted self-image, slatehangers nailbags, bee stings, dragons and kings, fanny batter splatter, deathmatches, half pints of gaviscon, masala fish on naan with mixed salad, chilli & mayonaisse, mushroom in a bird's nest, retartded internet wars with falses, japanese tattoos, drip drying my cock end, the finger and thumb scrotum scratching technique, guns, arse chafe, hangover wanks, hangover shits, alcoholic depression combined with chronic THC induced paranoia, fried egg tits aka half empty beanbags, boob watching/breast beading in general, tom jones singing doom metal, anything that stinks of piss but especially alleyways/elevators/stairwells, nappy throwing, nail biting, lip chewing, hitting big bongs of weed and smokin' fat cones, drinking at least six beers a day and also eating anything with codeine or muscle relaxants in it. The power of the riff as it was invented by TONY IOMMI, not this downtuned E chord bashing nu-metal shit. I love fucking loud feeback and head-cracking drums (I play drums myself). I love the outdoors and planet earth and all living things on it except society. The countryside fuckin' rules, as do mountains, streams, woods and the sky and I I am a total nerd for viking shit and anything with the unmistakeable 'northern' atmosphere but I'm no right wing ponce. I also like bikes, old crusty music gear, tattoos, patches and heavy metal shirts. I am quite a miserable cunt but have a rough and ready sense of humour but if I dont like the look or sound of you I wont bother communicating. I like real good satire, especially the type that shreds the cult of celebrity and the media, and also the type that results from an observing eye for the trivial.
''The fans are not real anymore, faceless designer rebels wanting everything for free, wanting everything instantly. There is no anticipation of a new release, no time to listen to an album properly, to digest its contents and draw a real conclusion to the musical contents, no heart and soul left in the real pride of been an outsider. Today I see kids walking down the streets dressed like fucking clowns. Weird hybrids of rapper/goth/punk and metal fan, with face paint, pants so big you could easily fit Karl Simon and Jason McCash into them at the same time and still have room for Tom Phillips to dangle out of the fly, wacky scary beards that are in dreadlocks with ethnic beads, platform boots, Cradle of Filth T-Shirts and Slipknot lunch boxes… It drives me to new extremes of contempt. This is not a result of some anti-fashion statement made by the actual fans, but a ploy to create a homogenous music scene by cigar smoking businessmen sat around a board room where the same band can be remarketed and sold under a different name over and over again as digital downloads, or worse still with bands like The Sword, take four idiots and give them a complete image and musical overhaul to sell them to a different audience completely than the one they originally planned to exploit, Piss on them all.They try to take the filth, the leather, the denim, the spikes and chains out of metal, turn it into something you can play to your fucking grandmother, they’re trying now, and they’ll succeed if every reader here does not fight back against the destruction of the underground by these leeches. Metal is the music of ALL generations, not just bored suburban mall brats in their teens – and I feel it’s up to us older folk to educate the younger generations in the real alternative.'' RICH WALKERDO NOT BOTHER ADDING ME IF YOUR BAND IS INDIE/ALTERNATIVE, FALSE METAL, GAY HIP-HOP WIGGER MUSIC, THAT GODAWFUL TOUGH-GUY USA METAL/HARDCORE SHIT WITH WANNABE ANSELMO VOCALS OR IF YOU AND YOUR BAND HAVE FRINGES, GET THE FUKK LOST PLEASE!!!!Any like minded doom freaks, people who are up for a good time, people who like rocking the fuck out and playing air guitar in the mirror to 'Turn Up The Night' by Black Sabbath. People who cannot stand the watered down excuse for rock music that gets in the charts and on MTV these days. I would also like to meet Jimmy Bower and thank him for his huge contribution to the USA's amazing southern sludge/hardcore doom scene.
Music is number one on my list. I am an out and out metal freak and have been for nearly 20 years. I love the entire spectrum of hard rock music, as long as it is trOO! Doom is top of the list because it carrys the torch for the original style of heavy metal invented by IOMMI, BUTLER & WARD. My favourite doom bands are SCALD, SAINT VITUS, TROUBLE, WITCHFINDER GENERAL, THE OBSESSED, PENTAGRAM, IRONMAN, DREAM DEATH/PENANCE, EARTHRIDE, SPIRIT CARAVAN, ORODRUIN, WITCHCRAFT, SOLOMON KANE, COLD MOURNING, THE GATES OF SLUMBER, MINOTAURI, REVEREND BIZARRE, THEE PLAGUE OF GENTLEMEN INTERNAL VOID, CANDLEMASS, CATHEDRAL, ELECTRIC WIZARD, PAGAN ALTAR, SOLSTICE, CHURCH OF MISERY.EPIC PROTO-DOOM/METAL:BANG, SIR LORD BALTIMORE, CAPTAIN BEYOND, MAY BLITZ, EDGAR WINTER, MANILLA ROAD, CIRITH UNGOL.DRONE)))) is killer SUNNO))), BORIS, EARTH, TRIBES OF NEUROT, BURNING WITCH (arguably sludge, drone AND doom!)SLUDGE is also very important, the best being EYEHATEGOD, CROWBAR, SOURVEIN, BONGZILLA, GRIEF, 13, CAVITY, BUZZOV.EN, WEEDEATER, GRAVEYARD RODEO, BLACK COBRA, ACID KING, IRON MONKEY, MOLEHILL, RABIES CASTE,I am a crust/hardcore/punk maniac too and I like DISCHARGE, BLACK FLAG, AGNOSTIC FRONT, DOOM, EXPLOITED, CRO-MAGS, MURPHY'S LAW, SHEER TERROR. I love cross-over too eg CARNIVORE, early COC, SOD.I like a good dose of classic thrash like SLAYER, CELTIC FROST, BATHORY, old METALLICA, ANTHRAX.BLACK METAL but only the good shit IMMORTAL, DARKTHRONE, EMPEROR, BURZUM and USA's finest thee mighty ABSU.Love myself plenty of classic rock too BLACK SABBATH, LYNYRD SKYNYRD, ZZ TOP, WHITESNAKE, LED ZEPPELIN, BUDGIE, JIMI HENDRIX, CREAM, JETHRO TULL.I like death metal when done exceptionally well MORBID ANGEL, ENTOMBED, AUTOPSY.I am an old skool hip hop lover too WU TANG CLAN, KRS ONE, DJ PREMIER, GANGSTARR, BDP, AZ, BLACK MOON, NAS.
apocalyspe now, taxi driver, godfather trilogy, mean streets, raging bull, silent running, 2001 a space oddyssey, once upon a time in the west, once upon a time in america, the thing, escape from new york, alien, bladerunner, star wars, dawn of the dead, night of the living dead, day of the dead, evil dead I,II, army of darkness, deer hunter, serpico, who's that knocking at my door?, big trouble in little china, ghostbusters, aliens, the terminator, american werewolf in london, shogun assassin, empire strikes back, longest day, goodfellas, casino, easy rider, das boot, a bridge too far, robocop, amelie, city of lost children, princess mononoke, spirited away, platoon, open range, unforgiven, they live, dog soldiers, schindler's list, jaws, saving private ryan, total recall, the abyss, true lies, land of the dead, shaun of the dead, from dusk till dawn, resevoir dogs, pulp fiction, kill bill I, II, jackie brown, sin city, druken master, crouching tiger hidden dragon, young master, the matrix, the animatrix, akira, urotsukidoji legend of the overfiend, fist of the north star, macross pluss, vampire hunter d, after hours, o brother where art thou, barton fink, fargo
the sopranos, only fools and horses, the simpsons, futurama, oz, kung fu, american chopper, spaced, the office, the office US brasseye, the day today, jam, monty python, blackadder, diaries of death, red dwarf, family guy, crocodile hunter, band of brothers, louis theroux, the first 48, I'm Alan Partridge,
lord of the rings, the sillmarillion, the hobbit, chopper I,II,III,IV, the longest day, band of brothers, junkie, naked lunch, helter skelter, have a nice day,I must go on a fuckin binge of Howard, Lovecraft & Poe, I'm off down Smethwick Library!
jimmy bower, ozzy osbourne, robert deniro, maj.dick winters 101st airborne div,