gandy profile picture

gandy

I am here for Friends

About Me

i am a bad kid. not like completely evil to the core or anything like that, just sort of marginally bad. you know.

My Interests

being solitary. writing. singing. i like dogs and slasher movies a lot. not in conjunction though. pieces is a really good slasher that i highly recommend. it seems to have been made by insane people.

also, zombies. zombies. zombies. because they lunch out on your ass if you're not careful.

I'd like to meet:

i just like being around people who know things i don't, and i like to listen to them talk, and if they're old enough to be my father, which is really dirty but getting harder to come by these days then all the better for me but they have to be like at least sixty-five and smokey hot. or they have to be the boyfriend.

oh. by the way? don't fuck with the boyfriend. just don't even think of it.

Music:

holden, kate bush, lee hazlewood, modeselektor, cocorosie, les baxter, michel legrand, brazilian girls, hrsta, shawn lee's ping pong orchestra, air, wall of voodoo, cat power, electric six, george shearing, radiohead, apparat, burt bacharach, scott walker, basement jaxx, al bowlly, jose gonzales, jackie gleason, nino rota.
the knife, serge gainsbourg, ellen allien, air, the bird and the bee, swervedriver, takako minekawa, cornelius, the sea and cake, sleater-kinney, bernard herrmann, the sex pistols, cibo matto, matmos, autechre, bad brains, broken social scene, mouse on mars, aphex twin, jackie mittoo, public image limited, throbbing gristle.

Movies:

the brides of dracula, fire walk with me or any david lynch really, island of the burning doomed or pretty much anything with peter cushing and christopher lee. i also love wild orchid because it's the most wonderful film ever made--here, LOOK:
i'd like to speak frankly about something very important and also repellent
namely, that i LOVE the movie wild orchid. i love it from the very moment it begins. i love the splash screen for the title. i love the shitty font they use. i OWNED THE SOUNDTRACK. i'm not ashamed of this, although my favorite song in the movie wasn't on the soundtrack. i relate my total and UNDYING DEVOTION to this film in the hopes that i might convince some of you as to the utter rightness of this fucking piece of work.
thing to love number one: carre otis' character gets on a greyhound BUS to go to NEW YORK CITY at the very beginning of the film. she is actually leaving from the middle of nowheresville, a fact evidenced by the sight of her bus' first destination: KANSAS CITY. the very idea of someone on an empty, dusty road boarding a bus which then takes one to the big city is a cinematic trope, if you will, that i had never thought to see.
thing to love number two: my friend shannon's sister kelly called this film 'wild orchard' repeatedly, for no reason that we could figure. kelly also thought that going to red lobster meant that you had to dress up.
thing to love number three: i saw this movie one night at the west seneca mall with the aforementioned shannon and my friend tracy. we were the only teenaged girls in the theater. everyone else was there to surreptitiously jerk off, i think. after we saw it we went to antoinette's for ice cream sundaes. but back to the movie.
thing 4: this is THE MOVIE where mickey rourke has a nervous breakdown and begins to believe that he is in fact a dude who should wear too much eyeliner and get lots of plastic surgery and REALLY IS mr. "i am untouchable damaged guy" and can't open his mouth when he speaks and should become a boxer and ride harleys with ape-hangers while sporting a red bandana like a golden retriever for the rest of his life because don't you know that harleys and bandanas are the coolest? i truly believe you can trace his downfall to precise moments in the film. like the sex therapist scene in the limo. which i'll get to. or like when he decided to eat the german orange tanning pills instead of bothering to lay in the sun.
thing 5: carre otis has to watch a lot of black people having hot wilding animal mandingo buck sex up against walls of abandoned hotels. throughout the course of the film they just act as this greek chorus of animalistic fuck activity. i think this 'wakes her up' sexually and makes her more amenable to mickey rourke and his weird-assed talk-freak desires.
thing 6: a lot of people stand around in the movie with barely any clothes on for no reason. like at restaurants; they stand just behind you while you eat your dinner. I WANT TO EAT DINNER IN THAT PLACE.
thing 7: there is so much crazy-assed dialogue courtesy of zalman king that i don't even know where to begin. "tell me about their wedding night." "they went to a grand hotel. (PAUSE) on a tropical beach somewhere. (PAUSE) they made the reservations by phone, not knowing it had fallen to ruin. (SMALL PAUSE) he hated it. (PAUSE) she liked it. (PAUSE) it made her feel(PAUSE)(PAUSE)(PAUSE)..." "what?" (EXTREME PAUSE) "decadent."
thing 8: as well as half-naked people, there are naked people standing around everywhere for no discernable reason. if they are ladies, their breasts are always heaving. well. it is rio.
thing 9: jacqueline bisset's partner or sometime boyfriend or whatever the hell he is is played by the same actor who essays the role of the driller murderer in the also excellent slumber party massacre.
thing 10: mickey rourke takes carre and their new, convenient german friends to a "special place" so that the german lady can experience the thrill of almost being raped by drunken sweaty navy men. then, he takes the opportunity to pull a bruce lee on said navy man, and gives him a swift kick to the solar plexus in what can only be described as an extremely heavy scene. action follows fast and furious as the german lady in question is then assaulted by a thug desirous of her swank jewelry, so mickey rourke runs in and saves the day by actually RIPPING HER TOP OFF and then RUNNING AWAY. if you don't believe me, rent the fucking movie. then they all have a group psychofuckfreak in the limo on the way home, with mickey as the sex therapist. carre otis actually has the decency to look woodenly disgusted at all this, as well she should. i mean, she has a german couple she knows nothing about balling on the seat next to her. then he tells her that the people in the limo are not having sex, they are making love. "there's a difference." HEAVY.
thing 11: something very amazing is predicated on the notion that you should believe that carre otis has a passable portuguese accent. let me ask--do you think she does? after the amazingness, mickey rourke watches her get fucked by a guy named jerome through the window of jerome's hotel room. he has an appropriately angsty expression on his face. meanwhile, up in the room, jerome has a big string of drool hanging off his chin while he semi-rapes carre otis.
thing 12: carre otis and jacqueline bisset dress up like 'twin' men for carnival. actually, they dress in the same outfit for most of the movie so i don't know why it's so important that they do so for carnival. jacqueline bisset left a dress behind for carre otis to wear the first night she meets mickey rourke. i'm sure it all MEANS SOMETHING but i can't say what. we learn that jacqueline is obsessed with mickey rourke. also that he was an orphan who stuttered so badly as a child that he could barely talk. and some long bullshit story about her dressing like a maid and some other crap.
thing 13: carre otis mildly yells (woodenly) at jacqueline bisset "i strongly advise you to tell them. if you don't, it's MISREPRESENTATION!" i don't really know what the hell she's talking about. i think mickey rourke is behind it all somehow.
thing 14: shockingly, there is a PIL song played on the soundtrack during carnival. i cannot express to you how FUCKING BLOWN my mind was at seeing/hearing johnny rotten/lydon's voice snarking out at me in the theater. it was great. (PAUSE) but really surprising. (DRAMATIC PAUSE) i mean, johnny rotten and zalman king? think about that. john must have needed some scratch, right?
thing 15: mickey rourke not only wears red bandanas when the mood strikes, he also chooses to go without a shirt for most of the film. sans german tanning pill orange, this would have excited me more than it does. sometimes he wears a rosary as a necklace. he reminds me of a scary pro wrestler.
thing 16: everyone in this movie forces carre otis to stand around and watch them balling, or listen to them talk about balling, or to just flat out disregard her when she says she doesn't want to be involved in their nauseating balling performances/discussions. still, if i were her i would have probably stuck around too. it's a weirdo scene, and i like weirdo scenes.
thing 17: let me say again, HARLEYS WITH APE HANGERS ARE NO GOOD. riding said harley with a leather vest on (shirtless o.c.) with a purple bandana tied around your neck AND a rosary AND about three gold watches on one hand is OVERDOING THINGS.
thing 18: near the close of the film, a black midget in a bellhop costume appears. why? is he supposed to be like a lawn jockey? WHY IS HE THERE?
thing 19: at the end, we learn that mickey rourke can "go to any restaurant [he] wants and sit at [his] own damn table but that [he] can't swallow [his] food." or however i should have written that. and that carre otis is very beautiful but that she's "gonna disappear."
thing 20: who cares if they really had sex or not during the big "making love" session? MAYBE they did! WHO CAN BE KNOWING? i get to watch orange mickey rourke (post cheek implants) having wild orchard sex on the floor of a vegas style 'opulent' hotel room for five or six minutes before they ride off into the sunset on ape-hangers and then carre gives us the thumbs-up.
if you think i write this from a place of irony, you are sadly mistaken. i am dead serious in my love for this film and everyone should see it. if you want a copy, i will send it to you on dvd. just say the fucking word, kids. expect greatness.

Television:

public access channels, the twilight zone, night gallery.

Books:

cheap sleaze horror paperbacks from the seventies. stuff with naughty nurses. hypno-sin. border lust. things like that.

Heroes:

beth gibbons, grant morrison, emma frost, teller of penn and, robert oppenheimer, edie sedgwick, warren oates, emily bronte, buster keaton, boyd rice, frank quitely, krypto the superdog.

My Blog

more joy for everyone

can xmas be far behind? ...
Posted by gandy on Sun, 04 Nov 2007 01:52:00 PST

since its friday and i feel extra loving

another something for you to look at. enjoy.remember, if you don't, then god hates all of us, and there is nothing you can do to stop him from jerking off on our collective heads in a fearsome rage. ...
Posted by gandy on Fri, 02 Nov 2007 03:36:00 PST

because gandy equals love

i am going to post an electric six video for everyone to watch and enjoy every single day. as long as there are videos to be seen, you will see them in my blog.because i am nice like that, and you, y...
Posted by gandy on Fri, 02 Nov 2007 03:34:00 PST

omg

it's halloween!
Posted by gandy on Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:22:00 PST

YAY NEW RADIOHEAD

AND IT IS SUPER FABULOUS!on first listen my new favorite radiohead song is jigsaw falling... aka open pickbutthe whole thing is really very lovely. it makes me feel like swirling around. very good, ...
Posted by gandy on Wed, 10 Oct 2007 02:48:00 PST

very brief and not really super important

but i'm really sick of the bettie page look. like, beyond sick of it. why doesn't anyone go all tempest storm? or lili st. cyr? or jinx falkenberg? if you're not into the model-y/stripper thing, ...
Posted by gandy on Wed, 12 Sep 2007 12:24:00 PST

incubus is a band that makes people:

erupt into fistfights in the aisles(guys) hit their girlfriendsprojectile vomit onto other concertgoers(men) whip out their cocks and start pissing on top of other concertgoersscream racial epithets a...
Posted by gandy on Wed, 11 Jul 2007 12:19:00 PST

a return to form

color me really officially aggravated by the whole of humanity right now.just for the fuck of it.
Posted by gandy on Tue, 10 Jul 2007 11:08:00 PST

quite possibly my favorite cat power song ever

though it is certainly the saddest and the most fucked up.nameshis name was perryhe had a learning difficultyhis father was a very mean manhis father burned his skinhis father sent him to his deathhe ...
Posted by gandy on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 03:37:00 PST

clicky love song

i slip awayi slipped on a little white liewe've got heads on sticksyou've got ventriloquistswe've got heads on sticksyou've got ventriloquistsstanding in the shadows at the end of my bedstanding in th...
Posted by gandy on Mon, 07 May 2007 01:08:00 PST