Gothywench
Big Green hippy
I DO NOT ADD SPAM FRIENDS. DO NOT ADD ME UNLESS YOU CAN WRITE CORRECTLY, WITHOUT BASTARDISING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.
DISCLAIMER:
This is also posted on my blog... but seeing as no-one reads my blogs (good thing too I rarely read anyone else's!) I thought I'd get this out to EVERYONE....
Ok guys lets get this straight... I DO NOT DO FREE ADVERTISING FOR YOUR SHITTY BAND. IF I LIKE YOU I WILL ADD YOU MYSELF, IF NOT AND YOU REALLY, REALLY THINK I'LL LIKE YOU; SEND ME A MESSAGE BEFORE YOU WISH TO BECOME MY FRIEND.
This has annoyed me slightly... Here's a message I just sent to one shitty band:
"Why exactly have you added me as a friend? First of all your music's rubbish and secondly I DO NOT do free advertising.
If it's advertising you're after that's ok we can work out a deal, £300 a month to be a friend, £500 a month to be a top friend, plus a bonus of £200 for every time I mention you in a blog, and I want a cut of all profits the band makes? How about that?
If this isn't something you want to work out please DO NOT ADD PEOPLE YOU DO NOT KNOW... because it's spamming... and it only ensures I'll NEVER buy your records.
Got it?"
So there... there's my costs... if you wish for me to advertise you that's fine with me
£300 - PCM for anything other than top friends
£500 - PCM for top friends
£800 - PCM for very top friend
PLUS
£200 EVERY time I mention your name in a blog or any other online writing of ANY KIND (this also includes MSN mentions, I keep chat logs so I will happily give evidence of this and any other profile/blog sites inc. FaceBook and Bebo)
I also require a cut of royalties AND a cut of ANY profit the band makes of any kind, I'd say a 25% profit was fair... so if you guys make £100 I will want £25, you can keep the rest.
So is that ok with everyone? Just so we're getting this straight, I don't do FREE advertising but I will happily do PAID* advertising, message me if you want to discuss this.
I accept PayPal, postal orders, cheques, cash (Sterling preferred, Euro accepted added fees will be incurred depending on exchange rate) or bank transfers.
Thanks for reading, look forward to hearing from you!
*This excludes:
- Any bands whom I personally know and who wish to add me (eg. If I really like the Flying Peas and THEY decide to add ME, that's fine because I know them and like them -PS I now have copyright to that name also)
- ME adding bands I like to MySpace friends (eg. 3DM, Kilnaboy, Flook, History of Guns, etc) to keep up to date with them
- If you think your band will GENUINLEY interest me -please note that this MUST include written communication (via e-mail/MSN/MySpace Mail/Snail Mail/etc) BEFORE attempting to add me and you MUST wait for a response to your message/mail (I work shifts, but DO regularly check my mail and I can almost always get to my e-mail box) and if I say you're shit, you WILL NOT attempt to add me -If I have said you're shit and you STILL add me I claim all monies mentioned above, plus damages (we wouldn't want people thinking I listen to your shit would we?) damages will depend on how rubbish your music is, rough estimates given below:
Punk: £5,000
Grunge: £5,000
Any Metallica tribute bands: £60,000
Goth: £500 (some Goth stuff is alright, so it will depends on HOW shit your band is)
Really bad Emo shit: £24,000 + a donation to a personal hygiene charity (we all know why -because Emos smell... it's quite simple...)
ANY boring whiney shit (inc. country/blues): £8,000 (some country is pretty good, so I will have to listen to it first to decide -naturally)
Alternative Rock (AKA Alternative Shit): £4,000 + £800,000 worth of music lessons to be given to the entire band, with an added £24,000 worth of equipment to be given to the entire band because most of you amateur "alt. rock" groups use SHIT equipment and are in dire need of an update
Metal (the REALLY shit stuff... like Korn...): £7,000
***ADDED UPDATE***
THESE TERMS ALSO GO FOR MODELS, FILMS AND ANY OTHER TYPE OF MEDIA WHORES. IF YOU WISH ME TO ADVERTISE YOU, PLEASE CONTACT ME IN WRITING AND WE CAN AGREE TERMS.
