Tuco profile picture

Tuco

If you're going to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.

About Me

Where I grew up there were only two ways to escape poverty -- become a bandit or a priest. My brother, Pablo, chose to become a priest, leaving me behind with my mother and father. I tried, but I couldn't do it. So, I became a bandit. Many years later, I met Bill Carson. He told me where $200,000 was buried. Now, I'm rich, but I'm lonely.

My Interests

Murder; armed robbery of citizens, state banks, and post offices; theft of sacred objects; arson; perjury; bigamy and deserting my wives and children; inciting prostitution; kidnapping; extortion; receiving stolen goods; selling stolen good; passing counterfeit money; using marked cards and loaded dice; assaulting justices of the peace; raping virgins of the white race; statuatory rape of minors of the black race; derailing trains in order to rob the passengers; highway robbery; detaining and selling fugitive slaves; hiring myself out as a guide to a wagon train and receiving payment, then deserting the wagon train on the hunting grounds of the Sioux Indians; misrepresenting myself as a Mexican general; and long horseback rides through the desert with my amigo, Blondie.

I'd like to meet:

Arch Stanton.

Music:

I don't like music. It makes me think of getting beaten up.

Movies:

I like Yojimbo, but I don't know why.

Television:

I liked Rawhide because Clint Eastwood was in it.

Books:

I can't read very good.

Heroes:

Arch Stanton. One day, I hope to visit his grave at Sad Hill Cemetary.