The Recently Martyred and Sainted Yo Kebe!

About Me

Think of me as a cross between Howard Hughes and Zach Braff in Garden State with a little bit of Larry David thrown in. (Except I'm not rich, not medicated, not Jewish, and I haven't played a retarded quarterback on tv...but if you hear there's an audition, lemme know!)

My Interests

Self absorption and loneliness. (Ironic, isn't it?)

I'd like to meet:

Hot chicks who be givin' it away like it's fo' free!

Music:

Anything that sounds tough but is actually made by a bunch of wusses.

Movies:

Movies with a bunch of wacky foreigners who fall down a lot.

Television:

Home Movies (RIP), Arrested Development (RIP), Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and tv shows starring a stunt man who's also a bounty hunter.

Books:

All I get to read these days are text books...and I'll tell ya what: PhD's can't write worth piss!

Heroes:

Lee Marvin. Lee Majors. Clark Fucking Gable.

My Blog

The racist fuckers!

Alright, before I get this thing started here, you need to get past the first couple sentences. Ya see, a combination of television, high fiber diets and too much fluoride in our drinking water have ...
Posted by The Recently Martyred and Sainted Yo Kebe! on Fri, 17 Feb 2006 09:01:00 PST

Disgruntled, Cold and Dead

I can say for certain that its cold. My nose itches, but when I try to scratch it, I learn that it has become numb from the weather. The odd thing is that temperature seems to have the opposite eff...
Posted by The Recently Martyred and Sainted Yo Kebe! on Sun, 11 Dec 2005 12:02:00 PST

My 15 minutes!

http://www.thewavemag.com/pagegen.php?pagename=article&artic leid=25419 (I'm third from the top...ladies control yourselves!)
Posted by The Recently Martyred and Sainted Yo Kebe! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Daddy's Pants

As many of you know, I recently started a new job. That's right, two evenings and one Saturday a week I stand behind a counter, talkin' a lot of shit and bringin' cameras to the masses. It's not par...
Posted by The Recently Martyred and Sainted Yo Kebe! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Everything that's wrong with Northern California (or why I won't get laid until 2009)

I need to begin this by stating that I'm NOT racist, sexist, fascist, or much of any kind of -ist. I try not to hate anyone, and I certainly don't judge people for what they are. In fact, the thing ...
Posted by The Recently Martyred and Sainted Yo Kebe! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The last word in politics!

So the election's comin' in two weeks here, and people are DYIN' for me to say something political...begging...pleading...crying. Well...OK, that's really only ONE person...but, Stephanie...here ya g...
Posted by The Recently Martyred and Sainted Yo Kebe! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Jesus Christ, all right, I'm here!

Normally I wouldn't do this, but Dillon had to call me a fuckin' pussy! And everyone knows I'll do anything if you call me a pussy. It's my one weakness, my achilles heel, if you will. So fuck it a...
Posted by The Recently Martyred and Sainted Yo Kebe! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST