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OUR FATHERS HOUSE/Stander in a restored marriage

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"That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.". Eph 5:25-27
"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified."—Isaiah 61:3.
Until recently I had limited understanding of what God was doing in my life, or in the lives of other saints, who are currently going through, or have gone through their own trial by fire. This page is dedicated to all who are going through what I will call from here on out the "Joseph Pit", or the "Joseph Calling", that they will somehow gain strength hope, comfort and encouragement, knowing there is a purpose to all the pain..I pray that they will feel comforted also knowing that they are not alone in the battle and they can come out on the other side of their trial victorious. It all depends on how each of us handles our circumstances. You are not alone.. Other saints all over the world are going through the same struggles..Even though your situation seems impossible, God is a God of the impossible.
I recently read some excerpts from Os Tillman's book,The 9 to5 Window and I now have a better understanding of God's purposes and plans in our lives, even when it would seem there is no purpose and no plan. I have posted some information in my blogs that might be helpful to you.
Tillman describes something called the "Joseph Pit" experience or the "black hole" when your whole life has collapsed around you. I can say that I know how it feels to be in the black hole and that God in his mercy won't leave you there forever..
If you’ve ever been through a Joseph Pit experience, you probably know what a communications “black hole” feels like. While you are in the pit of adversity, you feel that your world is collapsing, that your life is out of control—and that God is silent. You call out to Him and there is no answer. The silence of a black hole is deafening. You feel isolated and alone. You question God’s love, His care for you, and even His existence.
In your black hole experience, God is still with you, but he is teaching you to go deeper into your relationship with Him. You may think that your life is out of control, but in reality God, your shield, still protects you from the fiery forces that surround you. The black hole usually occurs at the front end of a crisis when the heat is greatest—and when God seems strangely silent. A Place of Total Nothingness.
A black hole is a place of total nothingness. It’s a time in our life when God removes the resources and supports that we normally rely on to feel secure—our careers, finances, friends, family, health and so forth. For years, we may have thought that we were trusting in God, but in reality, we were trusting in people and things for our own sense of safety. Suddenly, everything we have relied on vanishes—and we feel naked and defenseless against the world. We feel abandoned by God.
I’m sure that is how Joseph must have felt when he was in his black hole, at the bottom of a deep pit, with no way of escape. His black hole despair must have deepened when his brothers sold him to the Midianite slave traders who bound him in chains and forced him to march across the desert with a lash at his back. Later, when Joseph was convicted of a crime he never committed and sat for years in an Egyptian jail, he must have wondered why God gave him dreams of a bright future only to abandon him to a terrible fate in an alien land.
A black hole is a living nightmare. It feels as if we have no control over any aspect of our life. The fear is constant. We see happy, smiling faces around us, and we know that no one understands how we feel. No one can comfort us in a black hole. We’re totally alone.
One way to look at a black hole is to see it as a defining moment. A defining moment is a time in our life when everything changes and we know that there’s no turning back. A defining moment crystallizes us and shapes us into the kind of people we will be. It’s an event in our lives that gives form and meaning to our existence.
The defining moment in the life of Moses came when he heard God call to him from a bush that burned but miraculously was not consumed. The defining moment for Daniel came when God delivered him from the lions’ den. The defining moment for Joshua came when the Jordan River parted and he set foot in the Promised Land. The defining moment for Peter came when by faith he stepped out of a boat and walked on water toward his Lord.
God will give you a very precious message for someone else once you are back in the light.”
My defining moment was Rosh Hoshanah 2003 when my beloved husband came home from the far country. My life will be forever changed because of the events of 2002-2003. God was building character, perseverance, faithfulness and teaching me how to love my enemies..
Someone once said, “God uses enlarged trials to produce enlarged saints so He can put them in enlarged places!”The desert is only a season in your life. When God has accomplished what He wants, He will bring you out. He has given you a mission to fulfill that can only be fulfilled after you have spent an adequate time of preparation in the desert. Don’t fear the desert, for it is there that you will hear God’s voice as never before. It is there that you will have the idols of your life removed. It is there that you will begin to experience the reality of a living God as never before.
As I said earlier 2002-2003 were especially difficult for me, but the black hole experience had actually begun a number of years earlier. We had gone through some difficulties with our children and I believe that coupled with a huge mid-life crisis prompted the circumstances that were about to bring me into my own Joseph pit experience. Although my dear husband was in the home physically, mentally and emotionally he was gone. His leaving in September of 2002 was just a formality. I can say at this point I pretty much despaired of life itself.(2 Corinthians 1:8)For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life;
In my brokenness I sought the Lord about His will for my life. I didn't want to go on without my husband. I was devastated and wasn't sure that life would ever be right again. Only someone who has walked through the pain of a broken heart and broken marriage can understand the "tearing of one flesh". The Lord told me there would come an end to this trial and I would be able to endure it with His help. He would vindicate me, but I would need to put my complete trust in him and not try to vindicate myself. He told me what I was going through was all part of God preparing a bride that is without spot or wrinkle. He began to speak to me about the "covenant of marriage"(Malachi 2: 10-17)and how important it is to honor the vows we make.(Ecc. 5-1-7) I realized His Word said that He hated divorce and therefore I also understood that I shouldn't put my hand to something God hated. I knew that regardless of what my husband was doing or saying that I needed to honor my vows..Through many sources I also understood that the Lord's desire for me was to pray for my husband's salvation and to stand for my marriage.
(Ezek 22:30 KJV) -"And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none"..
I believe that God is looking for godly men and women who will be willing to take up their cross and follow Him.(Mt. 16:21-28)He is looking for men and women who will be willing to forgive those who have hurt them and lay down their lives for their brothers and sisters and stand in the gap for their salvation. (1 John 13:14-16)
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I also believe Jesus is coming back soon and we need to be ready.
Each season in our life is designed by God with a purpose. This particular season in my life was not just about my marriage and my husband's salvation. It was designed to cause me to press into God and give God first place in my life and my heart.I had to repent of making an idol out of my husband. I had to surrender all the things that I held so tightly in my clenched hands. As I opened my hands and my heart to Him I realized the things I clung to were nothing compared to the surpassing knowledge of knowing Christ Jesus (as Apostle Paul would say).(Phil 3:8). The Lord became my husband for that season of my life.
Isaiah 54:6: - The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit-- a wife who married young, only to be rejected," says your God. 7 "For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back. 8 In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you."
He would speak to me in the night seasons and whisper his desire to heal my marriage and my heart. One of the promises the Lord gave me came out of :
Jeremiah 33-6-11 - 6 'Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.
7 I will bring Judah and Israel back from captivity and will rebuild them as they were before.
8 I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me.
9 Then this city will bring me renown, joy, praise and honor before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for it.'
10 "This is what the LORD says: 'You say about this place, "It is a desolate waste, without men or animals." Yet in the towns of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem that are deserted, inhabited by neither men nor animals, there will be heard once more
11 the sounds of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom, and the voices of those who bring thank offerings to the house of the LORD, saying,
Give thanks to the LORD Almighty,
for the LORD is good;
his love endures forever."
For I will restore the fortunes of the land as they were before,' says the LORD.
I found that when everything was shifting around me, God's Word was the one thing that I could count on to never change. It became alive to me as if it was written for just me. When everything else was stripped away from me, God was enough. More than Enough. He was my rock and an ever present help in time of trouble.
During the year my dear husband was gone our son was in Iraq and Afghanistan as a paratrooper with the 82nd Airborne and I had major surgery on my neck. At times I felt I wouldn't make it. Some days the only thing I could do was cling to the rock that was higher than I..
(Psalm 61:1-2) - "Hear my cry, O God; attend to my prayer. From the end of the earth I will cry to You. When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I"
Each of us has a race to run. We should run our race hoping to win. I had to run my race and keep my eyes on the goal or I would have easily given in to discouragement and despair.
Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
I will be forever grateful to our children, grandchildren and our childrens spouses for standing by me during that painful time of my life. They didn't understand what I was doing, but loved me and supported me anyway. Supporting me didn't mean they approved of what I was doing, because they didn't. I had many family members and friends who thought I was totally insane to stand for my marriage. Why would I want to take someone back who had hurt me so badly? Even if no one understands you, or supports what you are doing, as long as you are pleasing to The Lord, that is what is important. (Proverbs 3:5-6) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. (Isaiah 55:8) For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. Quite often His ways and the ways of the world don't line up. It is not our job to be pleasing to the world. Our job as a Christian (one of God's children)is to be pleasing to God. He is the rewarder of those who believe and have faith in Him and diligently seek him. (Hebrews 11:6) But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
Hopefully I am now on the other side of my Joseph Pit experience and God has taken my test and made it a testimony. He won't leave you there, but oh how sweet is the deliverance when you have walked through the burning and the fire.
God was good and brought our dear son and my beloved husband home safe and sound. My husband was gone for a year and has been home for four years now..Each day I see God fulfilling his wonderful promises. He is so faithful. Judah (my husband) and Israel(the OW) both have returned to their homes..They have both reaped much of what they have sown, but God is faithful and his mercy is new every morning. My husband is back in the church playing in the music ministry and helping in our marriage restoration group. I trust that God will bring to fruition all that he has promised. We renewed our vows in May 2006 and God is working to heal all the family relationships that were broken during that time.
In May 2008 we will celebrate our 40th anniversary..To God be all the Glory...We have four lovely grown children and 12 going on 13 beautiful grandchildren that are a definite blessing from the Lord and now won't inherit the legacy of divorce, at least from us anyway. When I say our children won't inherit the legacy of divorce, I realize that many have grown up in families where divorce was passed on from generation to generation. We unfortunately tend to live out in our lives what we have experienced in our childhood. My parents were married 50 years and through the example that was set for me there was no thought in my mind that I wouldn't be in my marriage until death do us part. My husband on the other hand grew up in a dysfunctional family where divorce was a legacy. His parents, grandparents, great grandparents and all of his siblings have been divorced and remarried many times. His mother was married 4 times in the first 17 years of his life. His mother, father and all three stepfathers were alcoholics.
Even with a dysfunctional childhood, each one of us can choose the kind of legacy we want to leave for those who will follow in our footsteps.
I believe the heart of God weeps over the homes and families that are being devastated by separation and divorce.
It only takes one person in a family to stand up for what is right to make a difference.
If you are reading this and don't have a relationship with the Lord and are suffering as a result of separation or divorce, please know that God loves you and sees your pain. He will never leave you or forsake you and has a good plan for your life. If you give him your heart and your life and ask forgiveness for your sins, you will experience peace and healing that you never thought possible.
If you are reading this and are in your own Joseph Pit experience, please know that God will not leave you there. God knows the stubborn human heart. He knows that if He is to accomplish His deepest work, He must take us into the desert in order to give us the privilege of being used in His Kingdom. In the desert, God changes us and removes things that hinder us. He forces us to draw deep upon His grace. Don't create an Ishmael by taking things into your own hands. Most leaders who are used mightily by God have experienced a Judas-type of betrayal at one time or another. Whether or not God later elevated them was dependent upon how they handled the situation. Lean on him, Trust him and don't try to make a way of escape for yourself. Let him deliver you in his timing and his way. He is in control and will not keep you there one minute longer than is necessary. How can you tell when your adversity will be over? I believe your adversity will be over when it doesn’t matter anymore. When Joseph was elevated to his high position, he was able to do it without fanfare, because he had learned to be content in his hard circumstances.
If you are reading this and in a covenant marriage and considering divorce..Please reconsider. No one wins in a divorce and there will be a trail of broken lives and hearts left in your wake... How do I know what it will cost you? I know because daily I see the wounded children and broken lives, hearts and families coming through our marriage restoration group. I know because of what it cost me and I know because of what it has cost my husband and my children and grandchildren.
If you are standing for your marriage and God has given you a promise don't despair and please don't give up. It may seem impossible, but we serve a God that is more than able to do the impossible. Nothing is too hard for God and Nothing is Impossible With Him..(Luke 1:37).
Habakkuk 2:3 "For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay.
Numbers 23:19" God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent; Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?
Psalm 27:14 Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.
Fight the Good Fight and Run the Race. Keep your eyes on the finish line.
If you are reading this and divorced my heart goes out to you. I don't want to cause you anymore pain than you have already experienced. However as the church we need to begin to put the brakes on and stop this madness called divorce that the enemy is using to destroy our homes and families. Your enemy is not your husband or your wife.
Eph 6:12."For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places,
1 Peter 5:8-9 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
The rate of divorce is even higher in the church than in the world. Brothers and Sisters, this ought not be so.
If making myself transparent will help even one family to count the cost and make some changes, then all the pain will have been worth it.
I now co-own a marriage restoration group. If you need help, please visit us at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OilofJoy/
The Lord gets his best soldiers out of the highlands of affliction.
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FOUR TESTS THAT WE MUST PASS TO ADVANCE TO THE NEXT STEP - EXCERPTS FROM OS TILLMAN'S BOOK

God took Joseph through four unique tests. I believe that Joseph was required to pass each one successfully before he qualified for the next. When he passed the last one, he was finally elevated for the call that God ultimately had on his life.

Test 1: LOVING YOUR ENEMIES

Joseph's first test involved his family's rejection. His brothers had sold him to slave traders. What could be worse than to have your own family sell you into slavery? It would be very easy to fall into bitterness toward your family and God if something like this happened to you. Betrayal is one of the most difficult tests in life, and it often comes from one's own family or those in the Body of Christ. Every day, you and I must work and live in environments that do not treat us in an honorable manner. Sometimes, it's downright cruel.

I believe some of these experiences are actually allowed in our path in order to find out how we are going to handle them. A. W. Tozer said, "It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply."3 Most leaders who are used mightily by God have experienced a Judas-type of betrayal at one time or another. Whether or not God later elevated them was dependent upon how they handled the situation.I believe our response to betrayal is God's graduate-level course in our walk with Him. King David had a similar test when his closest companions created a source of pain in his life. We read of his struggle in Psalm 55:12-14, where he states, "If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God." Bitterness and unforgiveness have disqualified many people from moving on in the kingdom of God. God will not elevate you if there is any root of bitterness in your life. If you have something against a brother or sister, you must forgive him or her if you expect God to bless your life.I had a very close friend who had become a mentor to me. We were the best of friends. However, an issue arose in our relationship that turned out to be very negative. It was very painful, but God used the situation to show me exactly how Jesus must have felt when Judas, one of his closest companions, betrayed him. I decided to bless this man in very tangible ways even though he refused to resolve our differences. Five years later, he asked to reconcile our relationship. I believe that this would not have happened if I had not taken the initiative to "love my enemy." Are you willing to wash the feet of Judas, as Jesus did?

Test 2: MORAL PURITY

The second test for Joseph was in the area of moral purity. Joseph was living in Pharaoh's palace and he had not been around women for a long time. To make matters worse, his boss's wife began to make passes toward him, which can be a huge temptation for any man. However, Joseph did the only thing anyone can do to withstand sexual temptation—he fled. He passed the purity test.

Judah, however, did not. In Genesis 38, we read how Judah, one of the 12 sons of Jacob, allowed his purity—and his very staff—to be taken from him. Judah had just lost his wife, and after mourning her death he went on a little trip to Timnah. His widowed daughter-in-law, Tamar, posed as a prostitute, and Judah succumbed to sexual temptation, having intercourse with his dead son's wife. The form of payment was supposed to be a young goat, but because Judah didn't have one with him at the time, Tamar asked for a pledge.

"Will you give me something as a pledge until you send it?" she asked. He said, "What pledge should I give you?" "Your seal and its cord, and the staff in your hand," she answered. So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him (Gen. 38:17-18, emphasis added).

Judah gave up his staff—the one thing that represented his very life and work—to a woman who would later frame him with it. Sexual failure is like this. It requires everything from you. When you encounter sexual temptation, you must be like Joseph and flee. You cannot overcome sexual temptation any other way. Front Matter / 35 Men, especially, need to take heed and stay away from compromising situations. You do not want to be disqualified because of failure in this area. Even your computer can be a source of sexual temptation.

Test 3: PERSEVERANCE

The third test for Joseph was perseverance. Joseph had been in prison for many years. He had successfully interpreted a dream for some powerful people who could deliver him from prison. It is clear that Joseph had his hopes up, but he was not released. He remained in prison for another two years. Joseph was tired of being in prison, but there was something inside that kept him going. He persevered.

This is one of the most difficult aspects of the Joseph process, for it can take many years to get through this stage. Scripture tells us, "hope deferred makes the heart sick" (Prov. 3:12). Many will give up the fight at this point, and they may even consider taking their own lives. When my advertising agency was successful, I had a staff of seven people. When my world fell apart, I was by myself for five years—alone and forced to do the best I could to satisfy creditors and make ends meet. At times, it seemed like a never-ending treadmill. But God was doing a deeper work than I could see at the time. He was building character. He was removing pride. He was preparing me for something hand-tailored for me.

The test of perseverance is the one that many people cannot endure. All too often, they will move when God tells them to be still and wait. They will decide that they have been waiting long enough, so they set out to deliver themselves. This is a big mistake. If God has not completed the deeper work, He will take you around the mountain one more time—or even more if that is what is necessary to complete the inner work that He has begun in your life.

The depth and width of your calling is often proportional to the depth of the faith experiences in your life that come through adversity. A faith experience is any encounter you have with God that allows you to experience Him in a greater dimension. God frames your life through these experiences in order to speak to others. Moses' Red Sea miracle was a faith experience. Joshua's crossing the Jordan was a faith experience. However, if we short-circuit God's process in our lives by delivering ourselves out of our difficult circumstances, we will miss some incredible faith experiences. Perseverance is of vital importance if we are to enter God's promised land for our lives.

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Test 4: STEWARDSHIP

After 13 years of slavery and imprisonment, Joseph was finally freed from prison and elevated to the second highest position in Egypt. I wonder what that must have been like. Joseph performed well in his new role. He was a good steward. He passed the most challenging test of all—stewardship over prosperity.

When God began to change my difficult circumstances (after seven years), the funny thing was that it just didn't make that much difference anymore. I had learned to live in that difficult state and had become satisfied that I could live in it forever if I had to. In essence, I had finally "died." In Romans 6:4, Paul instructs us that we must die in order for Christ to be resurrected in each of our lives.

How can you tell when your adversity will be over? I believe your adversity will be over when it doesn't matter anymore. When Joseph was elevated to his high position, he was able to do it without fanfare, because he had learned to be content in his hard circumstances.

SCRIPTURES THE LORD GAVE ME DURING MY STAND FOR MY MARRIAGE

Malachi 2-10-17

10 Have we not all one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another?

11 Judah has broken faith. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the LORD loves, by marrying the daughter of a foreign god.

12 As for the man who does this, whoever he may be, may the LORD cut him off from the tents of Jacob even though he brings offerings to the LORD Almighty.

13 Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands.

14 You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.

15 Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.

16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

17 You have wearied the LORD with your words."How have we wearied him?" you ask. By saying, "All who do evil are good in the eyes of the LORD, and he is pleased with them" or "Where is the God of justice?"

WHY IT"S IMPORTANT WE HONOR OUR VOWS

Ecclesiastes 5: 1-7

1 Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong.

2 Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth,so let your words be few.

3 As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words.

4 When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow.

5 It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.

6 Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, "My vow was a mistake." Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands?

7 Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God.

Psalm 127 1_2:

1 Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.

2 In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves.

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Father's Love Letter

IT'S TIME TO FIGHT FOR OUR FAMILIES!

For though we live in the world we are not carrying on a worldly war, for the weapons of our warfare are not worldly but have divine power to destroy strongholds. {2 Cor 10:1-4 RSV}

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TAMMIE-HANDMAIDEN OF THE LORD
BLESSED BE THOSE WHO ARE STANDING FOR THEIR MARRIAGES AND BELIEVING FOR A MIRACLE!
A Standers Affirmation
I AM STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE!
I will not give up, give in, give out or give over 'til that healing takes place. I made a vow, I said the words, I gave the pledge, I gave a ring, I took a ring,I gave myself, I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words... in sickness and in health, in sorrow
and in joy, for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad...so
I am standing NOW, and will not sit down, let
down, slow down, calm down, fall down, look down or be down 'til the breakdown is torn down!
I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances, or listen
to prophets of doom, or buy into what is trendy,
worldly, popular, convenient, easy, quick,
thrifty, or advantageous... nor will I settle for a
cheap imitation of God's real thing, nor will I seek to lower God's standard, twist God's will, rewrite God's word,
violate God's covenant, or accept what God hates,
namely divorce!
In a world of filth, I will stay pure; surrounded by lies
I will speak the truth; where hopelessness abounds, I
will hope in God: where revenge is easier, I will
bless instead of curse; and where the odds are stacked
against me, I will trust in God's faithfulness.
I am a STANDER, and I will not acquiesce, compromise,
quarrel or quit.. I have made the choice, set my face,
entered the race, believed the Word, and trusted
God for all the outcome.
I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the
urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones,
nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the
devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up
'til my marriage is healed. - Author Unknown
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CAN GOD CHANGE A MAN'S HEART?
Psalm 33:10 The LORD nullifies the counsel of the nations; He frustrates the plans of the peoples.
Psalm 33:11 The counsel of the LORD stands forever, The plans of His heart from generation to generation.
Proverbs 16:1 The plans of the heart belong to man, But the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.
Proverbs 16:9 The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.
Isaiah 14:26 "This is the plan devised against the whole earth; and this is the hand that is stretched out against all the nations.
Isaiah 14:27 "For the LORD of hosts has planned, and who can frustrate it? And as for His stretched-out hand, who can turn it back?"
Numbers 23:19 "God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent; Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?
Isaiah 14:24 The LORD of hosts has sworn saying, "Surely, just as I have intended so it has happened, and just as I have planned so it will stand,
Isaiah 18:6 They will be left together for mountain birds of prey, And for the beasts of the earth; And the birds of prey will spend the summer feeding on them, And all the beasts of the earth will spend harvest time on them.
Isaiah 37:26 "Have you not heard? Long ago I did it, From ancient times I planned it. Now I have brought it to pass, That you should turn fortified cities into ruinous heaps.
Isaiah 41:2 "Who has aroused one from the east Whom He calls in righteousness to His feet? He delivers up nations before him And subdues kings. He makes them like dust with his sword, As the wind-driven chaff with his bow. (NASB ©1995)
HOW TO BUILD A HEDGE OF THORNS AROUND AN UNFAITHFUL PARTNER
"I sought for a man among them that should make up the hedge...that I should not destroy..." (Ez.22:30)
A certain man discovered that his wife was secretly seeing another man. She would meet him on business trips and spend long hours after work with him. For months she had neglected her home responsibilities, such as making any meals for her husband.
He learned about the "hedge of thorns" that he could claim in prayer for his wife, and one day he used it. That evening when he got home from work, his wife was in the kitchen making their first meal in four months!
A wife learned that her husband was spending time with a younger woman. She learned further that he was planning to leave her and marry this younger woman. She was told how to pray for a "hedge of thorns" around her husband. The next evening he received a phone call from the young woman telling him that she wanted to break off their relationship.
The wife of a young pastor left him and began working in a bar. She was planning to marry the barkeeper. The grieving husband learned how to pray for a "hedge of thorns" around his wife, and three days later, his wife called him up and was ready to return home.
These are only a few of the many illustrations which Christians are experiencing as a result of building a "hedge of thorns" or "hedge of protection" around their loved ones. However, there is far more to the story than just praying a certain prayer.
The Scriptural basis for the "hedge of thorns" is found in several passages. First of all, God looks for an intercessor to make up a "hedge" of protection. (Ez.22:30). Job is an example of such a man in the O.T. (Job 1:5-12)
He prayed for God's protection over his family - including his sons and daughters whom he feared cursed God in their hearts. The result was that God "made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that He had on every side".
By building a "hedge" around an unfaithful partner, his/her "lovers" lose interest and Satan is no more able to take your partner captive "at his will". Satan must get clearance from God for whatever he does, and his actions become God's dealings in love. II Timothy 2:25-26; II Corinthians 12:7; Job 1:5-10)
A further illustration of the hedge is found in Hosea. God promised to make a hedge of thorns around Hosea's adulterous wife so that her lovers would lose interest in her. (Hosea 2:6-7)
After God built a hedge of thorns around Hosea's unfaithful wife, and her lovers left her, she decided to return to her husband. However, if she was to remain under his authority and protection, there were several things that he had to do. These are listed in Hosea 2:14-16.
The NT counterpart to this truth is illustrated in Christ's interecession for Peter (Lk.22:31-38) and for his disciples (John 17:12 - the hedge of prayer - none lost but the son of perdition). It is also illustrated in Paul's prayer for those under his spiritual care.
The basic teaching of Scripture on the hedge is found in II Cor. 10:4-5 "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds."
This emphasizes the fact that Satan is able to have powerful holds on our mind, will, and emotions, but that through God we can and must pull them down.
The purpose of "binding Satan" (Matt.12:29) and building a "hedge of protection" around your partner is so that you can proceed "casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."
(II Cor.10:5).
There are a number of cases in which a husband or wife build a "hedge of thorns" around an unfaithful partner through prayer, saw the return of that partner, and then failed to follow up on the victory. Soon Satan regained a foothold in that partner's life. Thus, the following steps are very essential.
1. MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE A GENUINE CHRISTIAN.
God only hears the prayers of His own children. We become a child of God only through putting our full faith and trust for salvation in the finished work of the Lord Jesus Christ, in dying for us and being raised from the dead.
"Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us..." (Titus 3:5).
"But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)
"If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." (Romans 10:9)
2. CLEANSE YOUR LIFE OF ALL SIN
God delighted in building a hedge of protection around Job and all his family and possessions, because Job was "a perfect and an unpright man, one that feareth God, and...(hateth) evil,"
(Job 1:8)
We can claim the righteousness of Christ as Christians by confessing our sins and cleansing our mind, life, and home of anything that grieves the Spirit of God and hinders His work in our life.
"...Make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof." (Romans 13:14)
3. BUILD A "HEDGE OF THORNS" BY PRAYER
The following prayer is an example of building a hedge of thorns around an unfaithful marriage partner:
"Heavenly Father, I ask You in the name and through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, to build a "hedge of thorns" around my partner. I pray that through this hedge, any other lover will lose interest and depart. I base this prayer on Your Word which commands that what You have joined together, let not man put asunder." ((Matthew 19:6)
4. RESTORE A SPIRIT OF ONENESS
Follow through on your prayer by getting alone with your partner (..."I will allure her and bring her into the wilderness.."), using gentle, kind, and loving words ("...speak comfortably unto her..."_, committing yourself to your partner's needs and visualizing hope ("I will give her her vineyards...for a door of hope"), restoring your partner's happiness ("...and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth..."), and restoring a spirit of deep friendship ("...thou shalt call me ish (my husband) and shalt call me no more baali (my lord)). (Hosea 2:14-16)
5. CAST DOWN WRONG REASONINGS
In the spirit of friendship and fellowship, cast down false reasonings in the mind of your partner by wisely using God's Word. Together, bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. (I Cor. 10:4-5)
GOMER
Gomer was the wife of the prophet Hosea.
She was an adulterous wife.
In this account, God gives us a graphic illustration of how the "hedge of thorns" works.
Hosea 2:6-16
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PUT A "HEDGE OF THORNS" AROUND AN UNFAITHFUL PARTNER?
1. He/she will lose direction.
"...I will hedge up thy way with thorns, and make a wall, that she shall not find her paths."
2. Any other "lovers" will leave.
"...she shall follow after her lovers, but she shall not overtake them; and she shall seek them, but shall not find them."
3. Troubles will prompt a return
"...then shall she say, I will go and return to my first husband: for then was it better with me than now."
Hosea 2:6-16
A "hedge will be ineffective if you have not resolved all past offenses, or if you do not follow through with Scriptural steps of actions.
THE PRAYER FOR A "HEDGE" INVOLVES THREE PARTS
1. YOUR SPIRITUAL 'CREDENTIALS'
We are able to approach a holy God through the righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ. Christ's death and resurrection have already defeated Satan's power. "But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." (I Cor. 15:57)
2. YOUR REQUEST
When we pray, we must be specific; the more precise we are in our prayer, the more able we are to judge its Scriptural basis and the more alert we will be in seeing His answer to it. "...Ye have not, because ye ask not" (James 4:2)
3. YOUR SCRIPTURAL AUTHORITY
Every request must be based on the will of God as revealed in His Word. God's Word is the sword of the Spirit (Ep.6:17). Christians are able to overcome Satan "..by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony." (Rev. 12:11).
GOD GIVES FIVE STEPS TO WIN BACK A WAYWARD PARTNER
(Hosea 2:14-16)
1. Allure him/her away from ungodly influences.
2. Speak gently and lovingly.
3. Reestablish responsibility and by it restore hope.
4. Cause him/her to sing for joy.
5. Build an intimate friendship.
From Bill Gothard Ministries
http://www.cadz.net/
http://www.praisepowerprayertemplect.org/JIOSArchivesNationa l.html
LET US NEVER FORGET THOSE WHO SACRIFICED ALL..

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