Nikki Shapiro

My favorite food is snacks. My favorite color is blood. I hate talking on the phone. I can grow a beard in two days. I wear the same pants everyday. I'm in a band called Nikki Shapiro, Nikki Shapiro is also the name of my name. I find sponges to be disgusting, yet i clean my dishes with them. I'm not gay but sometimes i'm attracted to drag queens. I have Michael Jackson disease (Vitiligo,google it). I'm the nicest jerk you'll ever meet. People who do things for good karma are selfish. I'm a perverted romantic. I don't take compliments easily. I'm happy even when i'm blue. I only curse in bed. I'll try anything twenty times. I think young Barbara Striesand was hot. I've been around the world and i i i i i can't find that baby. For some reason a lot of middle-aged black women are attracted to me. The word genius is way over-used. If i knew a lot of stuff and could spell really well i would probably love crossword puzzles. I really dislike the music of Lenny kravitz. Sometimes i throw away pennies. I only have about five real friends (sorry myspace "friends"). I believe women should be placed high on pedestals, high enough to look up their dresses. I wish i was retarded for all the boob grabbing privileges. I believe no person should ever go into a Starbucks unless they have to go to the bathroom. I haven't used shampoo since '98. I think profanity is a linguistic crutch for inarticulate motherfuckers. I have a Virgin Mary figurine that strangly resembles a piece of toast. I have a fire collection. Gone are the times when sentences began with the words: "Gone are the times". I'm surprised i've never fell in the shower, it's slippery in there. Who am I even talking to?