Gareth profile picture

Gareth

My moustache still tastes of your testes!

About Me

I pretty much spend a lot of time rubbishing bands, talking shit about them behind their backs. Sometimes I grow balls and tell them to their faces they suck badly. But mostly www.perthbands.com is a convenient way of doing this without leaving the house. Like at the moment, I'm listening to a really REALLY awful band. They really, really blow. Hard. They should seriously just give up, and then all buy guns and shoot themselves in the head because they suck so bad at music, and probably life. Uuugh. I actually just turned the volume off on their music player. Because I could not take their suckyness any longer. Anyway, apart from this character flaw, I'm a fairly decent, sociable and agreeable person. Let's dance. Although I can't dance.

My Interests

Comfortable footwear, guitars, playing guitars, buying guitars, hurting guitars, comedy, satire, political science, effects pedals, drinking as an escape from social awkwardness, nice people, funny people, all the people, so many people, bands, music, gigs, concerts, festivals, girls, womens, history, arguments, pretending to be an Oz inmate, all my old school friends who ended up in jail for various crimes, social networking websites, jive talking, youtube, mi familia, pretending to speak spanish, travel, or at least the hope of travel, history professors who wear jackets with elbow patches, girls who play video games, computer games, FPS games, rock and roll, not being inspired by Duceman's interests list, writing, being lazy, being a jerk to people on the internet, being a jerk to people particularly on perthbands.com, your mama, bringing class and style to Innaloo, bringing crime and disease to Innaloo, marvelling at all the rats that seem to live in Innaloo and I mean REAL rats and not using it as a mean way of describing the people here, the prospect of owning a newish car with a spoiler and a cup-holder, Bob Fossil, pocket-cup, sometimes exercising heaps, trying to look as Adebisi-like as is possible for a short white man, going to the movies to watch movies, being able to see the ridiculous impracticalities of both extreme right and left wing political ideologies, Alisha Gory, Kerry O'Brien, Peter Garrett's ability to blind political opponents with his shiny bald slaphead, winning the shit out of band competitions, William Shatner, cruising in the bling-mobile, Melbourne Rock City, hospital drugs.

I'd like to meet:

Waah-waah-weee-waah!

Music:

In no particular order I enjoy: The Clash, The Cure, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Blur, Sons of Rico, Metallica, Motorhead, Faith No More, Dinosaur Jr, Muse, The Police, The Beatles, The Stones, The Stone Roses, The Smiths, Public Enemy, NWA, Primus, Weezer, Bloc Party, The Who, The Libertines, Dirty Pretty Things, Jane's Addiction, Living Colour, The Specials, Sex Pistols, Joy Division, New Order etc etc etc

Movies:

Yaknow, I started writing this, but it was too hard. Just talk to me about movies sometime and I'll talk your ear off about why The Godfather Part III was better than the first two, why Titanic was such an excellent Marxist critique of 19th century capitalism and why Pauly Shore is a genius without equal in Hollywood today.

Television:

Oz, The Chaser's War on Everything, South Park, Simpsons, Family Guy, Futurama, Life on Mars, The Sopranos, Deadwood, Arrested Development, Degrassi, Press Gang, The Brass Eye, The Mighty Boosh, lots more...

Books:

Books are excellent. I hope one day to read one.

Heroes:

..

My Blog

PRS CE24 Guitar for sale

Paul Reed Smith CE24 guitar for sale. In excellent condition, comes with a hard case. $2000 ono. Also set up by an excellent luthier. Message me here or get me on 0422 150 787. ...
Posted by Gareth on Tue, 26 Feb 2008 06:29:00 PST

You can kill the blogger, but not the blog

This guy had managed to get his blog on the net despite being dead. Respect:http://andrewolmsted.com/http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/ 20080107/ap_on_re_us/iraq_blogger_killed
Posted by Gareth on Tue, 08 Jan 2008 03:33:00 PST

Big Day Out - Importante

Will Stoker and The Embers play at 4:15pm (the afternooooon!) on the local band stage. Please be in attendance. Thank you.
Posted by Gareth on Sat, 05 Jan 2008 10:06:00 PST

CSI: Northern Suburbs

Approx 10pm, 16th December 2007: Suspects exit vehicle, place explosive device in Green Council Wheelie Bin and drive off at high speed. The device detonates inside the bin.  None of the local re...
Posted by Gareth on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 06:49:00 PST

Gangstas Paradise

I have a message for whoever blew up our bin tonight, and then drove off like cowardly fools *You better watch yourself, bitches.* I am not joking....
Posted by Gareth on Sun, 16 Dec 2007 06:58:00 PST

Part 2: Ben Larsen VS Alex James AND Lily Allen

I did a blog a little while ago when my friend Ben Larsen's band "The Bad Robots" were in a band comp in Engerlanddd and Alex James from Blur was one of the judges. His band are into the semi final no...
Posted by Gareth on Wed, 05 Dec 2007 05:26:00 PST

A moment of your precious time

So I'd gotten out of the hospital after being shanked by Schillinger. It seemed the black inmates were planning to riot, all except for my good buddy Kareem Said of course, peace be upon him. I think ...
Posted by Gareth on Mon, 26 Nov 2007 07:27:00 PST

Bitches best recognise...

....that breakin' into my homie's cars, smashing windows and stealing shit will not be tolerated. First Scott's car on Sunday (in Innaloo), then Kynan's car tonight (in Leederville). Yo br...
Posted by Gareth on Thu, 08 Nov 2007 06:37:00 PST

You know what really shits me?

Disabled people and their so-called "Handicapped" parking spaces. What's so handicapped about getting to park right next to the shopping centre entrance??Just kidding.No, it's guitar picks. I play wit...
Posted by Gareth on Sat, 03 Nov 2007 01:07:00 PST

Its time to go ...... John

He stands up at the podium Eyebrows neatly groomed Television is the medium He appears in every room   His half-truths have worn thin Words ring arrogant and stale Thoughtfully strokes his chin ...
Posted by Gareth on Sun, 21 Oct 2007 10:38:00 PST