A moment of silence, a lifetime of laughter...
"I'm selfish, impatient, & a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
*Marilyn Monroe
Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness. So simple a phrase like "Maybe we should be just friends" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heartIt hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
~ Neil Gaiman's Sandman #65
I'm my own person.
I live for myself, and only for myself.
I include a few people in that life and I love them with my entire being.
I'm straightforward to the point of brutal on occasion. Don't take it personally.
I probably don't care about you one way or the other, honestly.
I'm nasty to people when I first meet them, mainly to weed out the people I don't need to have in my life.
If you still make an effort to talk to me after I destroy your ego, you may be someone I'd like to get to know better.
If you just call me a bitch and walk away, oh well, it was probably your loss.
I'm almost constantly tired, due to the fact that I go to school full time and work two jobs.
It's not easy. I'm not going to lie and say it is. But it's worth it, just for the looks I receive from my elders who don't believe that I live on my own and support myself, due to the fact that I'm a teenager.
Yes, I know a lot of people. I know a lot of people.
But that doesn't mean I have a million friends. Very few of those people actually know me.
I have, I'd say, about three real friends at any given time.
I'm not impressed by celebrity. I don't care that you're in a band. I don't care who your best friend is. I don't care who you've slept with. You mean nothing to me, and they mean less. Unless they've done something of actual merit, I'm not impressed.
I live for music.
Recorded or live. Playing it or enjoying it. I love it far too much to be considered sane.
I don't know how exciting my life would be if it weren't for my car and randomly driving places. This summer alone, I put 4000 miles on my car. Scary, huh? More like awesome.
I love my car. He's a Chevy Prizm. And his name is Pete.
I'm alone a lot more than I'd like to be.
Sure, I value time alone, but I get lonely easily, and I crave physical contact.
Which is why I may be overly affectionate sometimes.
I flirt like it's my job.
And it probably means nothing, I promise you that. I flirt with everyone.
If I actually put an effort into it, that means I might marginally care if I get something out of it.
I'm content with who I am.
I'm proud of what I've accomplished in the last year alone.
I'm proud of what I'm going to accomplish.
I've got what I need to get by, but I would never fight getting more.
