- The Philadelphia Phillies~!
- Politics, Current Events, The World at Large.
- Pro Wrestling (Man-Child Alert!)
- Happiness.
- Being Irresponsible.
- Anonymous Honesty.
- Compulsive Behavior.
- Agoraphobia.
- GIRLS?
- Psychosomatic conditions.
- SHAMROCK SHAKES~!
- Tilde-banging~!
- Modesty as a form of arrogance.
- Living on the cheap.
- Making mean-spirited jokes.
- Being in bathrooms for no real reason.
- Low level deceptions.
- Seeming far smarter than I actually am.
- Writing lists. So many lists...
- Waking up at noon, EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE.
- BEARDS.
- My laptop.
- Awesome 3-minute pop songs.
- Dying.
- Not dying.
- Amateur Fabergé egg design.
- Making grand plans that never happen.
- Sneaking around Riverview all day.
- 'Fabing the homeless about money.
- 'Fabing the government about money.
- Being generally adorable at all times.
Dudes:
Stan Lee - Rasputin - Judd Nelson - Brian K. Vaughn - Morrissey - John Hughes - Buckethead - Kirk Van Houten - Lionel Richie - Paul McCartney - Garth Ennis - Me on my Deathbed - Me at 11 - The physical manifestations of my inner consciousness - Paul Heyman - R.L. Stein - Ernest Hemmingway - Charles Bukowski - John Lennon - Harry Houdini - John C. McGinley - Willem Dafoe - The entire cast of Platoon, actually - Whoever came up with The Arnold Palmer - Roky Erickson - John McCain - Cal Naughton Jr. - Danny Glover
Dames:
Just one actually, but she has to be all of the following:
- Insanely Smart
- Ridiculously Funny
- Painfully Sincere
- Completely Charming
- Totally Dorky
- Crazy Delicious
- Frighteningly Adventurous
- Surprisingly Low Key
- Nauseatingly Affectionate
- Fiercely Independent
- Inexplicably Fond Of Me
(Past that, I'm not interested. Unless it's Time-Traveling Eleanore Roosevelt or Judy Blume. I'd take a lunch with either of those two in a heartbeat.)
Etc.
Aliens - The Loch Ness Monster - A Ghost - Bigfoot - A Unicorn - A Pegasus -A Time-Traveling Viking - A Time-Traveling Ninja - A Time Traveling Samurai - Time Travelers on the whole - A Predator - Giant Squids - The Scary Fish on the Ocean Floor - The Devil - Whatever Can Explain Existence To Me In Under 5 Minutes
- The Breakfast Club
- NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
- Major League I/II
- O Brother, Where Art Thou?
- Airheads
- Almost Famous
- The Mighty Ducks Trilogy
- The Big Lebowski
- Every Coen Brothers movie, actually.
- Predator 1+2
- Drew Barrymore RomComs (Fever Pitch!!!)
- Sin City
- Boondock Saints
- Legend of Drunken Master
- Mean Girls
- Wet Hot American Summer
- Dog Day Afternoon
- Against Me's "We're Never Going Home"
- Garden State
- Most anything based on Comic Books.
- Donnie Darko
- Versus
- Battle Royale
- Most Kevin Smith stuff.
- Tarantino movies.
- Martial-Arts Period Piece Dramas
- Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Current:
- Ninja Warrior/Unbeatable Banzuke
- Mythbusters/Dirty Jobs
- Metalocalypse!!!
- The UNIVERSE
- The Whitest Kids U Know
- Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia
- Real Time With Bill Maher
- American Gladiators
Constant:
- The Daily Show
- The Colbert Report
- Seinfeld
- The Simpsons
- Old White Men Discussing Politics
- Wrestling/MMA
Classic:
- Arrested Development
- The Critic
- Adventures Of Pete and Pete
- Radio Free Roscoe
- Degrassi: The Next Generation
- Buffy The Vampire Slayer
- Angel
- Chappelle's Show
- The Office (UK)
- Wrestling dirtsheets
- Downloaded comic books
- The New York Times
- The Philadelphia Inquirer (when I can't find the Times)
- GQ, Rolling Stone, Interview
- Leonard F. Chikarason Presents Beard Aficionado
- City Paper, Philly Weekly
- No actual books, lately. Put me on to something good