You're not your owner. You're not how much kibble you have in your bowl. You're not the toys you have. You're not your fucking leash. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
–Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
–
The first rule of Pug Fight Club is - you do not talk about Pug Fight Club. The second rule of Pug Fight Club is - you DO NOT talk about Pug Fight Club. Third rule of Pug Fight Club, someone yells Stop!, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule, only two pups to a fight. Fifth rule, one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule, no collars, no claws. Seventh rule, fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule, if this is your first night at Pug Fight Club, you have to fight.
Man, I see in Pug Fight Club the strongest and smartest dogs who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation gnawing on pigs ears, sleeping all day; slaves with white leashes. Advertising has us chasing bitches and sweaters, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle pups of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie dogs, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
So when the snoody cat, and the courageous dog, with the celebrity voices meet for the first time in reel three, that's when you'll catch a flash of Tyler's contribution to the film.
Nobody knows that they saw it, but they did...
A nice, big, cock...
Even a hummingbird couldn't catch Tyler at work.
By the end of the first month, I didn't miss TV.
Abraham Lincoln, Gahndi, William Shatner, fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.