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nicolette le faye

HALL/OATES FOR PRESIDENT 2008

About Me

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I live alone in a one-bedroom convent in Towson, Maryland as though I have an audience 24 hours a day. I send grammatically correct text messages. I am married to myself and to my cat. I can't stop gossiping about myself. Expect me to change my mind and my clothes 8 times a day. My life itself is an ongoing art project that will never be finished. Alec hates the term "project" and I think I do too. I do stuff, like design and construct clothes, star in movies, write books, play piano, sing, and fly around on a fucking trapeze in a bar. Oh, and I'm a waitress in a restaraunt that caters to the oldest people in the world. I like obnoxious colors, over-dressing, uncomfortable shoes, and showing off. If you do too, and probably even if you don't, we'll get along just fine. "Living is the highest form of art." -Louise Brooks

My Interests

waiting for my testicles to drop, driving in the rain with my head out the window yelling at the sky, glitter, ballet and modern dance, sitting on big rocks in the sun by the river, sitting in the river, being in/on/near any body of water, cheap wine, red dresses, everything tacky, trees, the oceans, accumulating parking tickets, lipstick, dress up, bells, ugly clothes, dressing like an era that never existed, wearing obnoxious colors, and living in filth.

I'd like to meet:

People who make an effort. Those who are active and willing participants in their own lives. Someone who sees the whole of the world and realizes their life as they live it. Someone who is not afraid of looking like a jackass. Someone with an obvious pulse. No whiners. No junkies.I'm not looking for a boyfriend, nor am I refusing one. But I am looking for an audience.

Music:

glitter rock, pj harvey, hall and oates, dio, white stripes, david bowie, t-rex, electric light orcgestra, gogos, thin lizzy, franz ferdinand, the cramps, lunachicks, L7, the raincoats, led zepplin, duran duran, mott the hoople, depeche mode, rasputina, the cars, rolling stones, foriegner, liz phair, motley crue, le georges leningrad,

Movies:

wings of desire, pandora's box, big fish, edward scissorhands.

Television:

the golden girls and this episode of mr. rogers neightborhood: a star for kitty. it's the most amazing thing i've ever seen on television. you see, it's kitty's birthday and she wants her own star. so, she goes to the sky and she meets the little gray kitten puppet in a star costume that, for some inexplicable reason, lives in a tube of toothpaste, and she meets a basketball star (get it? star?) who is dressed in a silver running jacket and shorts with the stripe down the sleeves and the legs, and silver knee-hi socks, silver stars on his face, and a big tin foil collar shaped like a big star....and get this....it's an OPERA. that's right, an opera. so anyway, kitty goes to twinkling school with all the stars, but she can't seem to twinkle. then it's time for her to take her little star home...but the star dosen't wanna go!!! he is perfectly happy living in the sky. and then kitty realizes, the star dosen't belong to her!!! it belongs in it's home...in the sky....AND SHE IS TWINKLING NOW!!!! and she wakes up in her bed.and then mr.rogers comes on and says so matter-of-factly, shaking his head and smiling reassuringly, "nobody can own a star...nobody owns you..." and i swear to christ those fucking words out of his beautiful wrinkled mouth brought tears to my eyes, and turned my day around.

Books:

Until I Find You is the only book I've finished in years.

Heroes:

Keanu Reaves and every band on 98 Rock, for sucking severely and still hitting the big time.

My Blog

Ode to my Grandmother

You just have to love any 78-year-old woman who will come to the Ottobar with your parents, get onstage with you and your band and smash a guitar at the end of your set, then take two shots of Beam an...
Posted by nicolette le faye on Sun, 29 Jul 2007 11:41:00 PST

Nikki's Adventures in the Wild West, chapter 4.

Where was I?  Oh yes.  So, I'm driving through the desert.  I had been on the road for about an hour when my phone rang.  It was Zach.  Yes, Zach, not Jack, I am calling him b...
Posted by nicolette le faye on Fri, 08 Jun 2007 10:38:00 PST

Nikki's Adventures in the Wild West, chapter 4.

Where was I?  Oh yes.  So, I'm driving through the desert.  I had been on the road for about an hour when my phone rang.  It was Zach.  Yes, Zach, not Jack, I am calling him b...
Posted by nicolette le faye on Fri, 08 Jun 2007 10:39:00 PST

Nikki's Adventures in the Wild West, chapter 3.

So. In my black dress and Jackie-O sunglasses, with a black scarf tied round my head, I peeled out of the airport parking lot in my rented black Mustang convertible blasting LA Woman.  I was head...
Posted by nicolette le faye on Thu, 07 Jun 2007 02:54:00 PST

Nikki's Adventures in the Wild West, chapter 1.

...or, Nikki's Adventures in Douchbaggery. So, about a month ago, I met this dude from Phoenix while he was visiting some friends of mine in Baltimore.  We'll call him Jack.  We seemed to hi...
Posted by nicolette le faye on Tue, 29 May 2007 01:12:00 PST

Nikki's Adventures in the Wild West, chapter 2.

So Jack's ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend come to the bar.  We'll call her "Pissy".  Did I mention they were together 4 1/2 years and had only split up a few months a...
Posted by nicolette le faye on Tue, 29 May 2007 02:15:00 PST

When I was 25, it was a very good year

Yeah, it was damn near two weeks ago, but I had a good birthday.  I took a trip on a train, laughed my ass off all day, went to the ballet, and blew all my money at the mall.  I also t...
Posted by nicolette le faye on Wed, 18 Apr 2007 07:02:00 PST

Nikki's Book Review: The Bitches of Avalon

Ahh, The Mists of Avalon. I purchased this monstrosity about 8 years ago during my obsession with the idea that I was somehow visiting the lost/hidden world of Avalon in my dreams. ...
Posted by nicolette le faye on Fri, 09 Mar 2007 09:56:00 PST

Nikki's Adventures in a Small Town as a Movie Star

When you call up the Washington County Department of Tourism and tell them you plan to film some scenes for a movie in Hagerstown, they don't fuck around. Instead, they wisk you away to the ...
Posted by nicolette le faye on Sat, 24 Feb 2007 09:10:00 PST

Tight Pants and YOU

NEWSFLASH! Hey dudes! You would look a lot better in tight pants.  Yes, you!  I don't care who you are, what your body type is, tight pants work for everyone.  Fat, thin, muscular, I do...
Posted by nicolette le faye on Mon, 08 Jan 2007 10:50:00 PST