Gospel According to Keith profile picture

Gospel According to Keith

Getting luckier 1 Buddah at a time

About Me

I'm sarcastic half the time, and I pride myself on my sarcastic voice, though I'm not too good at catching other people being sarcastic. I smile at lots of people and grunt politely (if there is such a thing).I'm also quite lazy and I take my sweet time in everything I do. Evidently I'm pretty good at school work, because I have a pretty good GPA, and I'm an OK at work when I have a job because no one has threatened to fire me.

Myspace Editor
Pimp MySpace

My Interests

Poking dead things with sticks, making fun of Fraternity/sorority people(because they deserve it), Pooping on a daily basis, Ingesting unsafe amounts of edible substances, spiking coffee with X-lax(bwa ha ha), and being the sarcastic little bastard I always wanted to be.
What Will Be Your Cause of Death? by sparkledee
User Name
Age
Cause of Death Ingestion of safety pins...
Gore Level A little mess...
Date of Death March 6, 2031

Quiz created with MemeGen !

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet... I honestly don't know, you can't predict who you would get along with based on personalities, appearance, or smell. Well smell works in deciding who I can't get along with.My preferences are people who like to drink try *different* beers, and not adhere to getting drunk beers, and nasty tasting "high gravity" that have all the alcohol of 3 beers, and taste like sewage. I would like to take up tennis or racquetball.

Music:

I thought I knew my musical preferences, but I don't. Now I need to listen to the song before I make a verdict. I think songs without lyrics get old slower. However, I absolutely hate most rap/R&B songs! .. width="425" height="350" ....

Movies:

The Nightmare Before Christmas, Gladiator, Big Fish, Office Space, Star Wars, Sleepy Hollow, Jay and Silent Bob, Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, Princes Mononoke, Braveheart, Batman Begins, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, Master of the Flying Guillotine(jk), and those good movies I can't think of because sugar cubes have assaulted my brain cells and my pee smells like coffee.

Television:

I'm very fond of Cartoon Network. Although I miss Samurai Jack. Aside from that I like to watch sports and John Stewart and Stephen Cobert shows. Take the quiz: "What natural disaster are you?"

tsunami
YOU ARE A TSUNAMI!!!

Books:

Index of Worldly Brews, Tao Te Ching By Lao Tzu, The Book of Bunny Suicides, Standardized Mead Manuals, Acupuncture Texts, The Art of War, The Dark Tower, Harry Potter, Original Dragonlance Trilogy, Catcher and the Rye, and I like reading when I should study.

Heroes:

Dr. Doom Kobayashi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .. width="425" height="350" ....I dislike spandex clad male heroes whom fail to grasp that spandex is a semitransparent fabric.

My Blog

Call an Alchemist

Loyal readers and creepy people alike,This counts as both a product review and a prime example of just how cheap I really am. I am quite cheap, please keep that in mind.Last month or so, I bought Lore...
Posted by Gospel According to Keith on Sun, 23 Sep 2007 10:26:00 PST

Bathroom Drain

If you go looking for complicated equations to solve I'm sure you can find them. My advice is use ducktape even if it's not a good idea just to maintain your sanity. I think I will put a little more i...
Posted by Gospel According to Keith on Fri, 14 Sep 2007 12:56:00 PST

Snazzy Pig

Hello and welcome readers, and illiterate people who think they can read.  The point of this blog is not to give publicity to a barbeque restaurant in Roswell, NM called the Snazzy Pig. It is to...
Posted by Gospel According to Keith on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 06:10:00 PST

Jennifer Government

I just started reading like a savage demon. What I've read in the last month can be summarized by the following list. 3 MoonKnight Comic books Stephen King Dark Tower Vol 2 Catcher in the Rye And righ...
Posted by Gospel According to Keith on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 01:22:00 PST

Summer Job?

I think I might be lined up for a new summer job. I went to one of those information tables, and found out that I could get a job at either Chapel Hill, NC or Albequerky, NM. The job is doing environm...
Posted by Gospel According to Keith on Tue, 03 Apr 2007 09:22:00 PST

Revoking Status

Hello, mister Hendren this is Chip Witley, with the International Board of Coolness. As you know you have been in possetion the three essential elements of coolness until this point. I'm sor...
Posted by Gospel According to Keith on Thu, 15 Feb 2007 07:12:00 PST

Aquafresh Review

Hello All, I thought it imparative to write a review on a toothpaste that I have been using in recent weeks. Aside from the performnce of this toothpaste I have found myself becoming detally anal. IE...
Posted by Gospel According to Keith on Mon, 13 Nov 2006 10:46:00 PST

Skellator's Council of Evil

This would be my review of the Davinci Code now in theaters. My biggest critique on this movie is that the Vatican reminds me of the council of evil. There is a slight difference that instead of sayin...
Posted by Gospel According to Keith on Fri, 02 Jun 2006 01:41:00 PST

A Whole New Job

Yeah that's right I'm Gonna Be employed by someone... for the very first time someone that's not a corporation. (McDonalds Resurants inc. or CARC inc.) I am gonna be a paid bastard just like I've alw...
Posted by Gospel According to Keith on Wed, 01 Mar 2006 03:19:00 PST

Goode Ole Depression!

Hello Loyal Subscribers and newcomers. As you know I am an unemployed person who is currently attending NMSU. I have some time to kill so I thought I'd get a job. I was worried that I wouldn't get cal...
Posted by Gospel According to Keith on Sat, 04 Feb 2006 04:25:00 PST