Ashley Nicole profile picture

Ashley Nicole

Step aside.

About Me

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My name is Ashley. I'm from Little Rock, Arkansas. I get bored very easily. I don't like cheese. I love shiny red sports cars and chromed-out Harleys. I have two baby girl wiener dogs, Buffy and Adrienne, and they are my life. I'd give them a kidney if they needed one. I'm not sure if that would work, though. I have a great family and we stick together no matter what. I work at a lovely golf course. I like unicorns. One of my fav books growing up was "The Unicorn that Had No Horn" because at the end the unicorn ends up getting a diamond horn. I thought that was the coolest thing ever. I always thought I would grow out of that one but apparently I was wrong. I remember when I was a little girl, a big brass unicorn statue fell off my headboard and landed on my head. It hurt like the dickens. It was very traumatizing, but not even that incident could sway me from my love of "the corn". I love music. I really love metal that's loud enough so that you can actually feel the metal fillings in your molars shaking. It's pretty uncomfortable though. I almost died in the dentist's chair a few years ago when he dropped a big pointy piece of metal down my throat and then had to dig it out before I swallowed it. That day I learned that metal will bring me either extreme joy or extreme pain. Or both I guess. I'm a drama queen. I hope that I get to go to the Wakken Open Air festival one day. I laugh really hard when the person in front of me turns on their blinker just to go around a sharp curve. And I laugh even harder when the person in front of me makes a turn and their blinker never turns itself off, so they drive around for a few miles with it still blinking. I have no clue why I think that's so funny. But I do. I don't understand human behavior no matter how much I study and observe it. I love animals more than people. I get freaked out by extremists. I don't usually discuss religion or politics. I try not to be judgemental of others, with the hope that they'll do the same. I've learned that doesn't work. I like to drink Jack Daniels and Red Stripe. But not mixed together. That would be gross. I'm allergic to something but I don't know what. I really hope that I figure it out soon because my sinuses are driving me nuts. I've had the same best friend since I was in second grade and her name is Anna Banana. Back when we were in junior high, she and I went through a period of time where we wouldn't stop fighting. So my dad tricked us into getting into the car with him one night and then he dropped us off at Lakewood Village near the big fountain. He said he wouldn't take us home until we worked out all of our issues because he was sick of hearing about it. It worked. If the medical community was to ever name an illness after me, it would be called Unwarranted Worry Syndrome. I love to cook. My specialties include enchiladas, tilapia diablo, and shrimp primavera. I also love to bake. My specialties include loaded oatmeal cookies and german chocolate cake. My latest quest is to perfect my homemade cinnamon rolls. Those things can get pretty tricky. Most people are shocked to learn that I have Martha Stewart-ish tendencies when it comes to domestic tasks. I'm a girly tomboy. I love boots and I own entirely too many. My favorite colors are purple, red, and black. If I had my own country, the flag would be tie-died with those three colors and the people would be called Ashicans. I can be a sarcastic asshole. I have the worst case of insomnia ever recorded in the history of the world. I've had it for as long as I can remember. It sucks. I love princess-cut diamonds. I think that feet are gross. I try not to take the people that I love fore-granted. But I still wouldn't give any of them a foot massage. I have a bachelor's degree in business management. I have realized that business management isn't always as fun as it sounds. And that's not saying much. I often catch myself saying "nothing could surprise me at this point", only to find out that it can. The word crawlspace scares me. I always thought it would make an excellent band name until my brother pointed out one day that there's already a band called Crawlspace. Nine times out of ten I feel like I'm tap dancin' on a land mine. And that's ok with me. I truly believe that we will have the power. We will have the glory. In our shining hour.....we will write our own story. History DOES repeat itself, and if you don't believe that then you're an idiot. That's all I can think of for now. :
Cheesy gooberness to the tenth power. Times a thousand. Plus the square root of 14,846. Or something like that. ;)
Sometimes we're overwhelmed by our extreme coolness.
My little Adrienne is ADORABLE!!

GO HOGS GO!!! U of A vs Texas on 10/11/04. Yes, we got our asses kicked but at least we had a good time!!! I MISS U GUYS!!!!!!!
Oh this is just me being awesome on my 27th bday. :P

Even after a long day of pool partyin' big bro and I can always take a moment to pause for the cause!!!
Dad and I are a couple of badasses. :)
Dad's bday party was fun.
GOOD FUCKING TIMES......with the Memphis crew. :

My Interests


Things that make me happy: simplicity, boots, my RATT key chain, a good margarita, men named Adam (lol), 80's flicks, The Crue, cuddling, girl scout cookies, working out, talking alot, my friends, my family, my shiny red Firebird, hanging out in the graveyard on Watson Road, THE BEACH, sushi, wiener dogs, cooking, winning the Pillsbury bakeoff this year *fingers crossed*, not being sick all the time, unicorns, goose down comforters, anything that society tells me I shouldn't do, re-inacting death scenes for photos........wtf.........I'm a weirdo..........WAY too many horror films while growing up......

what can I say? I had a bad day.and not to mention Blue's debut.................

DEATH BY METAL!!!!!!!!

I'd like to meet:

this guy:

Music:

This could take forever........can one be a metal-head slash parrot-head???? I've taken it upon myself to prove that it's possible. I'll just start naming bands I guess..... Ozzy & Sabbath, Metallica, Megadeth, Pantera, Arch Enemy, In Flames, Jimmy Buffett (!), Hank Williams Jr., Otep, Behemoth (we came all the way from Poland to fucking rock!!); Lita Ford; Astral Doors; Krisiun; Wednesday 13; Bone Thugz in Harmony!!; Van Halen; Six Feet Under; Don McLean; Queen; White Zombie (& solo Rob), AC/DC, Akercocke, Type O Negative, Pat Benatar; absolutely anything hair-band metal, Anorexia Nervosa, System of a Down, Tesla, Skinless, Motorhead, GNR, some Slipknot, Deicide; Queensryche; old-days Marilyn Manson, 3 Inches of Blood, Twisted Sister; Meatloaf (not jokin--luv it!), Danzig; Sammy Hagar; Led Zepplin, Nile, Vehemence, can't believe I haven't already said the fucking Crue, Opeth, Decapitated, Dimmu Borgir, Slayer, BLS, Cannibal Corpse, Goatwhore, Aerosmith, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Ike & Tina; W.A.S.P., Mortician; Prince; Avenged Sevenfold, couldn't live without Snoop & Dr. Dre's Doggystyle, Nine Inch Nails, Cradle of Filth; Iron Maiden, Down; Murderdolls; 2 Live Crew; Southern Isolation; KATAKLYSM; a little George Strait from time to time, love Sebastian Bach.....either solo or Skid Row days.....unbelievable voice mutha-trucka!!! And of course, some local bands. that's all for now....


Bad girlzzzz wear BLACK...........a tribute to Pantera!!! (and yea i'm a tall freak)

Movies:

Here's another one........too many!! Just about anything horror that doesn't blow goats and anything funny enough to make me laugh out loud!!! Trick or Treat (RIP Sammi Curr); Evil Dead and Army of Darkness; Black Christmas (the original not the shitty remake); The Lost Boys; Hamburger the Movie (fuck you, pickle!); Shock 'em Dead; Cocktail; High Tension; The Exorcist; any Halloweens, Nightmares on Elm Street, or Friday the 13ths (especially part V); Old School; Friday; Gone with the Wind; A Clockwork Orange; Pretty Woman; anything even remotely having to do with zombies (Romero?!); Caddy Shack; Demons; From Dusk till Dawn; Fast Times at Ridgemont High; Wayne's World....party on Wayne and party on Garth; Rock Star (whewwwieee Steel Dragon!); Home Alone =); National Lampoon's Vacation; Gingersnaps trilogy; Goonies; Strangeland; Stand By Me; The Wedding Singer; The Breakfast Club/Pretty in Pink/Sixteen Candles/you get the picture; Memento; Raising Arizona; The Crow; Top Gun; Fright Night; Dazed and Confused; Grease 1 & 2 (I need a cool rider.....); my Wacken Live dvd; The Devil's Rejects; and of course.....Stayin' Alive. I also love documentaries of crazy stuff like Paradise Lost and The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The METAL Years. Check it out. It's funny.
R.I.P. Sammi Curr 1947-1986

Television:

SEINFELD.......ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! I don't watch much tv. It takes something along the lines of HBO to hold my attention for that long! Entourage; Deadwood season 1; The Sopranos; Sex and the City; Southpark; Aqua Teen Hunger Force (they read my mind when they made french fries the devil!); Full House re-runs b/c they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside; select seasons of the Surreal Life (the first, in particular); and the occasional Dr. Phil while I'm on the treadmill b/c I'm reminded of how "normal" I am when compared to others. ;) And of course now I've gotta add Family Guy to the mix. The people that write that show are geniuses.

Books:

Gone With the Wind and Garfield's Halloween Adventure It has....... more global reach than any weapon of mass destruction, more history than a $2 whore, more of a following than any Manson or Koresh, more meaning than Mr. Webster’s entire masterpiece, more thrash and gore than a Fulci film, and it‘s loud enough to blow your fucking mind. Don’t be afraid. It’s only metal.

WWW.NONEMOREMETAL.COM

Heroes:

My parents, Peter the Great (the best sushi chef in the whole world), the inventor of the protein bar, & Larry David.
the Killer Rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
The Devil's Rejects.
The original members of Vixen:
The Jackyl from Thirteen Ghosts.....YIKES!!!
Wednesday 13.......of course. =)
Angela Gossow (very VERY wicked lead vocals for Arch Enemy) She can wail and she's hot!!!
and, of course, Cathe Friedrich--the greatest fitness diva that ever lived......she will kick your ass like no other!!! That's her in the middle with her very buff crew.

I love She-Ra!! She's the Princess of Power for cryin' out loud.

And how about Allister Fiend?? He adorned our walls and warped our brains since 1985!!!

My dad........the Car Bomb King!!!

This is Buffy the Vampire Slayer........heiress to my throne!!!

Let's not forget Bruce Campbell!! You can't go wrong playin' a character named Ash........shown here with his BOOM STICK!!!

Yepppp. That's Jimmy Buffett. 'nuff said.


Speaking of heroes............take a sec to throw some love to a fallen one and some hate to the shit-heads of the world.....



Now........let's fill some space with some stooooopid pix, shall we??!! Silence and empty space make me very uncomfortable.

My friends love me!!! I swear....they really do. kinda.

..

Ihhhh lahhhhkkkkkk toyyyzzzzz!!!!!

School's a drag, man. School's a drag.

I am Nikki........Nikki am I.
my girly death metal growl.......featuring the "metal claw" AKA "the grapefruit clutch"


Debbie and I will rule the planet......and spread our evilness throughout the land.


HOLY SHIT HE'S HOTTTTTTTTTTTT!!! Ben Falgoust is my future ex-husband. He just doesn't know it yet. ;)
And this is where I'll post special pix that people sent just for da princess:
David worships the metal nun........and that's just great. :)
for anyone who'd like to order my action figure or dream house, call 1-800-KICKASS........
...and don't forget to pick up your copy of The Metal Nun comic book. Duh.

Stoner made me look like the coolest thing since sliced bread. Thank you verrrry much!! :)

My Blog

reality bites.........

Soooooooo.......I'm back at work on Monday Florida was AMAZING!!!  I posted a ton of pix in my pic section so check em out if you haven't already.  Debbie and I had a shit-ton-o-fun!!  ...
Posted by Ashley Nicole on Mon, 21 May 2007 03:07:00 PST

the application process........

Gotta love my attempt at lightening up any potentially "serious" situation.  :P  So here it is people.........the highly requested:Adam #3 Application1)  Are you male?  (if yes, ad...
Posted by Ashley Nicole on Tue, 08 May 2007 10:21:00 PST

But I invented "it's not you, it's me"!!!

Well I've already started getting emails and things asking about my situation.  So in an attempt to not have to repeat this 80 billion times, yes it's true.  Adam and I are officially broken...
Posted by Ashley Nicole on Mon, 07 May 2007 01:32:00 PST

Let's take her for a CRUISE!! Name the movie.

I am happy today.  I don't know why I felt the need to post that in a blog, but I guess that if I needed to document it........then ok.  Had a fun weekend and got to see some blasts from the...
Posted by Ashley Nicole on Tue, 01 May 2007 08:57:00 PST

Frustrated Incorporated.......

Yep it's that time again.  I feel like if I get it out as it builds up, then it decreases my desire to lash out irrationally at the most inappropriate times.  So here we go planet Earth........
Posted by Ashley Nicole on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 03:01:00 PST

edited to add...........

Mmmmk I forgot to say that I've been working on the greatest 80's movie marathon ever.  (and some 90's as needed)  My advice would be to take 2 of these and call me in the morning.  : ...
Posted by Ashley Nicole on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 09:51:00 PST

we didn't start the fire........

No we didn't light it but we tried to fight it.  I'm bored. Some observations as of late: 1)  I had entirely too much fun over the weekend.  2)  I enjoy being 27 alot more than...
Posted by Ashley Nicole on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 08:06:00 PST

over-medicated and pissed off..............

Well first and foremost, let me start off by saying that I had an EXCELLENT bday weekend!! I got to see some old friends, had a beautiful man by my side the whole time, and finally finally FINALLY got...
Posted by Ashley Nicole on Wed, 04 Apr 2007 08:14:00 PST

sugar & spice & everything not so nice.........

Mmmmk I had a fantastic birthday yesterday!!  Thanks to everyone who called, emailed, texted, commented, bulletined, smoke-signaled, streaked, killed, and mutilated in order to show me some love....
Posted by Ashley Nicole on Fri, 30 Mar 2007 03:55:00 PST

PARTY TIME BABY!!!

One word to describe my life recently:  WHOOOA!!  I don't know if that's the correct spelling, but just picture Joey Lawrence and you'll get the idea.  I swear the last few months have ...
Posted by Ashley Nicole on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 04:18:00 PST