The Return
May 15th, 2008
I have received word that Intestinal Fortitude performed a surprise live show last weekend at their old familiar haunt, the Lonestar Country Club. Apparently, and not surprisingly, the show was short on music and ended upon the breakout of a fight. More details to follow...
Morbid Anal Fog Finished?! Intestinal Fortitude Returning?!
May 5th, 2008
Freelance reporter Jack Strapp here, returning from the indefinite hiatus brought on by the disbanding of Intestinal Fortitude last year. First thing's first, I am 20 days out of rehab and 110 days sober, so TAKE THAT, VICODIN.
And now on to more pertinent business. I'm drudging up my old password to access this account and inform the 1 or 2 Intestinal Fortitude fans who may or may not keep current with this website that there is actually some activity in the long dormant Intestinal Fortitude camp. First and foremost, it appears as if the Captain has updated the Intestinal Myspace with a new logo image. The Captain has not personally returned my phone calls, but word around the grapevine is that the Captain competed in Japan for both the World Arm Wrestling and World Intergender Wrestling championships. He took home Arm Wrestling gold, but, due to a disqualification, the Intergender title did not make its way back to America. So far, the only photographic proof of either match is the image embedded within the updated logo. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, the band which occupied the Captain's attentions and ultimately led to the destruction of Intestinal Fortitude in August of 2007 -- Morbid Anal Fog -- has had their own onstage meltdown and has proclaimed themselves to be in "Inactive" status. Not surprisingly, the Captain was at the center of the drama, first creating inter-band tension before a note was played by refusing to apply corpsepaint for the black metal show, and then boiling over at the end of the set, vacating his drum kit and getting behind the microphone to proclaim his exit from the band. To add insult to injury, the Captain cursed Satan and praised God (yes, the God who stands for inner peace, love, and forgiveness -- don't ask me how the Captain decided to align himself with these values, I am just as confused). Video proof of the incident (along with the entire performance) has surfaced and can be viewed below...
My duty as a reporter is the assemble the facts and interpret them in a manner which communicates something clearly evident within the facts but not explicitly stated by them. From these two bits of evidence, I am able to infer that perhaps Intestinal Fortitude is not as "finished" as they once claimed to be.......
Deep Ellum Death Grind
August 25th, 2007
Intestinal Fortitude plays, despite the Captain, having recently rejoined Morbid Anal Fog, attempting to get his black metal act on in its place. Cotexxx is invited back into the band under the condition that he battles Orion the Future in a guitar-solo-off. Lord Valcron is avenged by the fan whom he and the Captain dumped into a dumpster at the Night of Intestines. The Captain asks Orion to leave, and he answers with a SPEAR.
Friday the 13th, The Night of Intestines
July 13, 2007
Intestinal Fortitude plays to a packed house. Lord Valcron of Morbid Anal Fog hard sells the return of Lord Beard (The Captain's former moniker of grimness). The Captain puts on the corpsepaint and reenters the black metal scene, turning on one-time ally Psycho Steve Cotexxx and violently extricating him from the band. However, an attempt on Orion the Future leaves the Captain in a precarious position, inserted into a kick drum, temporarily blinded and open to an agitated fan's attack with a lawn chair. The Captain retaliates with his body as a weapon against the fan, and newly anti-christened teammate Valcron comes to the Captain's aid, resulting in a taking out of the trash, so to speak (pun intended).
