get this clock
More Free Graphics at pYzam.com
Get Your Own Chat Box! Go Large!
Well it is hard to sum up "me" in just some words on a page... to know me is easier... I have one of those "tragic" life stories which has lead me to where I am. I am not complaining. I am happy, things could be better but we all have our loose ends now don't we. I have many battles in my life.
I am suffering inside my own skin... I have been diagnosed with a some problems over the last several years (which actually explains symptoms that date back almost 15 years): fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, essential tremor, bipolar disorder, PTSD, plus now they are trying to rule out MS, and a problem with my right sacroiliac and lower lumbar region... but you know what? I can't let these "conditions" keep me from being me... I am considered permenantly disabled by my doctor and my state of residence but not by the federal government (go figure),even with the multiple diagnoses, they deny me... so I am have had to hire a lawyer and take the fight to court to get disabilty benefits, since I have been unable to work since April of 2005. It does not matter what my doctor says, nor the state, I have those certain conditions that the feds like to deny until you drag them to court. I believe the feds just like to know that you are suffering. It's such an inconsequential amount of money that are applying for anyway, but to make you sue for it and wait 2 or more years to get something you have already worked for and been promised? That's the nature of our true government!
Anyhow, I'm merely trying to survive, living life with my sweety, hoping that when I see the judge (in June/July of 2008) that I will be granted what I am due. I pray that somewhere some smart scientist discovers the reason for these conditions and then possibly developes a cure or two.
Until then, it's just another day around the farm. I love my days with my sweety... I have been in love before but this is truly the first time that I have been loved in return! I love every minute we spend together. This man has stood beside me through some of the roughest days and has stood strong, he's truly amazing. I feel so very blessed to wake up next to him every morning.
I have been through some very traumtic events in my life and I don't have any family left but one brother, both my parents passed from cancer. Mom in 1997 and Dad in 2001. But looking back over everything I can proudly say that I handled it all very gracefully considering what was going on inside my head. I was not close to my Mom, so my regrets were deep and despair was endless with her passing. My Dad on the other hand was my World, losing him was like losing my own soul. I was grateful for every moment that I was able to spend with him in this life and my spirit knows that my love for him will carry far beyond this this lifetime. I miss him terribly.
Life is full of tragedy and heartbreak but it's also full of love and blessings and I don't want to miss a moment of it. The pain that I feel every waking moment of my days is unfair and my doctors do try diligently to help me combat the symtoms of these horrible conditions... I only wish we could find something that truly works. I am too young, we are all to young to be suffering like this... we deserve relief.
THE THIEF OF MANY LIVES!!!! by Kathleen Houghton
I'm constantly on the prowl in search of new victims. I do not discriminate---health care workers, teachers, students, airline personnel, teens, moms, dads, and innocent children are my prey. If you are dynamic and have a lust for life, I will find you.
Just when you are at the peak of your endeavors, climbing that career ladder or building your family and home, I will find you. There is nothing that you have in your life today that I am not capable of destroying tomorrow, your career, your education, your goals, your dreams, your family and your life. I will have it all. I will strip you of your ability to function at any level above minimal, and from this day on you will refer to that as “a good day.â€
I have the ability to create an invalid out of you overnight, and I will. It will take a marathon effort for you just to get out of bed. At a cellular level your immune system will be in a constant war battling itself and unnamed viruses, which will painfully be replicating in your brain. I promise you, I will bring you despair along with pain, isolation and losses far beyond what you can ever imagine.
Your mind will be in a constant "fogged" state, your expression will be unable to express, and your eyes will have a noticeable "glazed over/drugged out" look. You will find it most difficult to pay attention, concentrate, or even process the simplest of thoughts. Making change from a dollar may well be beyond your ability now. Your mouth may feel like it is full of marbles when you when try to speak, as your tongue twists and nothing you try to say comes out right. Who would believe your level of education when you can't even string enough words together to make a complete sentence or one that makes any sense for that matter? I promise, I will bring you at any unsuspecting time, severe abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea along with a host of gastrointestinal disorders. I will make you weak and lifeless as one could be without being confirmed dead. You will be housebound or in bed for several years if not the rest of your life. As part of incapacitating you, I will make your heart race and your head pound; your throat will constantly be sore and your lymph glands will swell. That will all seem trivial after I inflame and spasm muscles throughout your body. Crushing a grape between your fingers may take too much energy or be too painful now.
On those nights that I allow you to sleep, you will awaken drenched with sweat or throbbing with pain. Perhaps I might even throw in a little seizure activity. On those nights that I do not allow sleep to occur; I will torture you with thoughts of death...Not suicide, but death. Simply because you have not come to realize that this is your new life, and that you are not living. You will need to re-create your being every day, as every day I will bring you unpredicted symptoms and suffering.
I have also done a few things that you may not be aware of yet. I placed some lesions on your brain (have you noticed how you have difficulty with balance and memory yet?) and I permanently altered your immune system. I have shorted out your nervous system so that you have intermittent numbness and tingling, which might resemble an electrical current zapping you from time. This is called neuropathy. Nope, it's not curable either!!
Now I have you. I have taken over your body and mind. I have stolen your life but left you alive, not very functional, but by clinical definition you are still alive.Your family will not be able to give all the constant care that you need on a daily basis. As for your friends, well, they're still on that ladder climbing up. Rest assured, I am looking for them too. By now, chances are good that most of family and friends have abandoned you, so you must have learned the definition of isolation. This newfound isolation will save you from having to explain how sick you really are to others. They won't understand anyway. Isolation will save you all that energy.
Your health insurance has already been or will shortly be discontinued as you lost your job from not being able to "keep up". Perhaps you got caught dozing off or called in sick one too many times. Now that you are no longer employable or insurable, when you seek medial care, any medical professional that figures me out will diagnose you and say that what you have is presently not curable.
Now it is time for you to seek out medial care, nationally if not worldwide. However, most so called medial professionals will not even have the ability to recognize me when they see me, as they have not learned about me in medical school. So, chances are good that you will be misdiagnosed. You will give more blood samples and have more examinations then you ever imagined existed. Then you can take the results to dozens of doctors in search of a diagnosis. One that is valid as well as socially and medically acceptable. One that does not label you as depressed or say that "it's all in your head!!!"
Most doctors will suggest a vacation, weight loss diet, new or increased love life, help with the children, or change of scenery as the "cure", mainly because you may look like the picture of health. This is my mask of deception. You will pray for a positive word from current research. Research, which you will soon learn, is quite limited due to lack of funding and government support. You will learn new vocabulary which contains words like: T-Cells, Cytokines, Nuclear Antigens, Natural Killer Cells, Immunoglobulins, Cytomegalovirus, Serotonin, Cerebral lesions, and Immune Dysfunction are among a few. However the most important words that you will need to know and fight for are Social Security Disability and Medicare.
At one point I may give you a false sense of recovery or remission. Let me assure you, I will be back, as you are my prisoner and that makes me your keeper. I have placed the lives of millions of people nationwide in limbo, I continue to do the same world wide. I would consider this epidemic, wouldn't you?
Eventually I will bring the government, health care workers, and society to their knees in search of unraveling my complexities, which are crippling humanity. I leave it up to you, my victims, and your caretakers, to educate the public and let them know that I am very real and that you are very sick. Unfortunately, I have been given a totally ridiculous name, which will make your job even more difficult. Until that name is changed, I am:
FIBROMYALGIA (FMS)
Blessing of Love and Light to you all!!!
I am a member and developer on IMVU... a wonderful 3D chat program that is nothing like you've ever seen before. If you click on my avatar picture below, you can get all set up... Let's chat... it's almost as good as being in the same room!
Layout made by LadyAlina
MySpace Codes
Think Different!
My soon to be ex-husband is a cruel man, and uses my sons as a weapons against me. He is one of those "me me me" type people. Never once thinking how or who he affects, as long as he gets what he wants.
Added 2/24/08 ::: Since my soon to be ex, SEK, has seen fit to trash me on his space, I'll be more than happy to elaborate...
Everything he has stated was to make himself feel better about what he has done to his family!
I married this piece of work in April of 1991, after almost 7 years of constant lies and adultry and instability coming from him, I walked away. He made us move over 20 times in that short period, due his uncanny inability to keep a job and pay bills, instead of playing, not to mention his lovely Felony charge for Aggrevated Assult with A Deadly Weapon with Intent of Great Bodily Harm along with his inability to stay out of jail for Violation of Probation & Court orders for anger mangagement class, community service. The attorny/bond fees and restitution were unbareable to a young family.
Putting me through two seperate incedents involving pregnancies of other women (fortunantly, for him, none of the 3 children lived... the twins were miscarried and the single died from sids at about 2 months of age)... Otherwise, I guess his and his current girlfriend's myspace page would have to read 9 children today instead of 6...lol... she only has 2 children of her own and can't even care for one of them... What a joke!... but if you'd really like to keep an accurate count let us not forget the one before your first SEK, remember the one before the one you finally claim as your first Son(but only after the court forced/ordered paternity test though... right Chandra?) Yeah, that one that decided not to tell her husband that it was not his. It's really hard to say just exactly how many children SEK actually has walking around out there, but counting the three who died and the one left unclaimed, your looking at updating that number now aren't you? Since you just seem to love to claim other women's children as your own.
MY 3 boys lived with me after our split in Dec. 1997 and SEK rarely ever came to see them in that time (not like he really cared to see them much while we were married either, much less support them during the time we were together), only at his convienience of course, but I never once denied him the right to see his children, through every lie he told them and me, I never denied him, Not Once. Yes, they were small then and they don't remember much of it now, which is too bad, I really wish they could remember. All the Christmas' and Birthday's and Holiday's that we never heard from him.
Unfortunantly, I made a very bad decision in November of 2001. I let the boys move in with him because this was something that my oldest son really wanted to do. I couldn't see splitting the 3 of them up, so I let them all move in with him. Well it turns out, I should have listened to my heart and my head, and never let them live with him, it was the biggest mistake I have ever made... I have not seen them since that day. He decided that if I would not do everything exactly as he wanted (like it always had been for him), I would not see them again. He has held to that and has kept them from me to this day....
SEK's Mother (Known to my boys as MawMaw) would always do her very best to be there for the special occasions in their lives during the years they were with me, and I truly loved her for everthing she ever did and ever was to us, she was truly a beautiful, caring and loving woman... right up until the day I allowed her son to play Father to my sons, from that point on, she would not help me in locating my children... She would only opt to deliver my messages to her son, which would always go unaswered. When I had the boys I made every effort to let her see her Grandchildren and yet, I recieve no respect or willingness on her part to help me when I needed her help the most.
I then had no contact numbers, as leaving a message was useless, and he always stayed unlisted, and as you can see by the history above he did not stay in one place long enough to be tracked down to a specific address... by the time you would get one, he had already moved again. Just to add to the situation, I was unaware that his girlfriend was illegaly using his/my last name as her own, it only made the tracing even more difficult (SEK & I are not divorced to date). Now, one of the fairly recent reports that I have aquired on him, his girlfriends assumed name is listed as one of his known aliases... and as a relative as well... Interesting...huh?
When I found his Best Friend(of 20 years)on here, his wife's myspace account just so happend to have my Oldest Son on it! I quickly contacted my Son, who cheerfully gave me his cell phone number and we talked that very day! My Son was so happy to have his REAL MOM back, he had alot of questions for me, to say the least! Well, needless to say, when my ex found this out he promptly told his "Best Friend of 20 years" to NEVER speak to him, his wife?, or his kids again... Some Best Friend huh? Mike didn't do anything, neither did Monica, but SEK always has to take his anger out on someone, believe me, I know well. I have been searching for my children all these years, and I have not been the only one searching, although he would like to think so, but he'll soon find out otherwise.
I was happily communicating with all 3 of my boys, making plans to see them, buying them things... then SEK sends me these divorce papers... which was supposed to be a good thing, but then they showed up at my door... Unsigned, unnotorized, no info filled in, missing pages... hell they weren't even a good copy! Trying to get me to sign away his back child support he still owes for all the years he was gone, trying to make me pay child support(when he ran with my kids?) And because I won't sign them, he now cuts off my communication with my boys again (another illegal move) and in his rage takes out his anger on both me and the boys again(not new at all). Reminds me of the day I left him... he decided to backhand me in the hallway and as I tried to leave in my car he punched out the window in my car and stabbed my tire with the knife he had in his hand for some reason, not sure what his intentions were but, I was not alone in that car I was not the only one with glass in my face or changing the tire a mile down the road in the freezing cold of that december day. I was not the only one freezing with the now shattered and open window, my heater could not fight the cold wind blowing into the car. There was another adult person in that car that has known him since he was a child. Heh, how much he likes to forget, or would like to forget anyway. As much as you want to forget the past it is still happened, and can still come back to haunt you in ways you never imagined.
At any rate... SEK::: You can fill my sons heads with your lies about our past and what you want them to think about what is going on right now, but you know what kind of hell you put me and your children through, so does your family, my family, and far to many of our oldest, dearest friends. You have not only hurt me but have have hurt alot of other people along your path.
You're very careless SEK
I LOVE MY SONS WITH ALL MY HEART SEK AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU OR ANYONE ELSE CAN DO ABOUT IT!
I'll see you in court.
Damn you for putting everyone through this pain.