bingo t. clown profile picture

bingo t. clown

A Child's Smile is My Life Blood

About Me

Flags and Cornflakes...what more is there?

My Interests

Cola wars, felt pajama bottoms, collecting Australian wine bottles, the career of Michael Keaton, lemon coolers, polar bear print textiles, Jimmy Carter's career as Governor of Georgia and anything - and I do mean ANYTHING - having to do with the 1977 L.A. Strings Profesional Tennis team

I'd like to meet:

Adult babies and their parents.

Music:

Loggins and Messina, Orleans, Laura Brannigan (RIP), Kajagoogoo (pretty much anything Lahmahl does), Anne Murray (the queen of Canadian Pop), Air Supply, Taco, Celtic Frost...just too many to name for music lovers like me!

Movies:

"Cascade of Evidence", "Bartholomew the Proctor", "Weary, Indiana", "Adolph Firecracker", "Chinese for 'I Love You'"

Television:

"I'm a Big Fat Pig (Living in a Shallow, Shallow World)", "Your Mom Sucks", "Give Us Your Consumer Products", "Straight Men Touched by Gay Men", "My Car Is Still Shitty But It Has a New Paint Job", "Our Lives Suck; Build us a House", "Dumb-Self-Involved 20-Somethings Go Wild And Prove The End Of The World Is Right Around The Corner", "People Will Do Anything For Money".

Books:

"The 50 Greatest Mayan Inventions", "The Pleasure Zone; How to Be A Better Lover of Yourself", "Ron Pallone; My Name is Ron, Bastard!"; any and all diet books that allow me to keep eating bagel dogs without consequence.

Heroes:

Mickey Supreme, Bobby Blake, Fred Turner-Evans, Sheila Belvedere, Max Aphles, Presidente Guillermo Bacceneda, Mai Xiu, the St. Francis Honey Bees, my great grand mother Floppy Breadsticks, the Society For Future Clown Relevence and all the clowns that came before me, who pied for my right to be free...or paid.

My Blog

How to predict a Serial Killer

I think I now understand what drove the likes of Ted Bundy and the Green River Killer to do what they did, for I have been subjected to those same demons; RAIN!!!!!  Constant, never-ending RAIN!!...
Posted by bingo t. clown on Mon, 03 Apr 2006 01:21:00 PST

Morrisey's love of baby harp seals porves he is still a misanthrope

So I see Morrisey is boycotting playing in Canada on account of the whole baby-harp seal thing (something like the government sanctioned clubbing and killing of these cute little critters for their fu...
Posted by bingo t. clown on Tue, 28 Mar 2006 05:05:00 PST

slow cooked meats

really, is there anything better?? i think not.so next time yer down in the dumps, fire up that crock pot and throw a nice brisket and some root vegetables in it and take the day off...you desrve it.C...
Posted by bingo t. clown on Tue, 07 Mar 2006 07:29:00 PST

Dear aspiring musicians or bands

ixnay on the olfway...and while your at it - put out the "fire". here's my suggestion/prediction of the next band name pronoun: "Beard" check it!
Posted by bingo t. clown on Sat, 28 Jan 2006 11:24:00 PST

Five Things to be Thankful for

5. Your Bowels - without them you'd be a mess 4. Cheetah Rivera - I get Goosebumps just saying her name, speaking of... 3. Name Tags - I want to know who it is that is handling my Chalupa, my Whopper ...
Posted by bingo t. clown on Wed, 23 Nov 2005 01:15:00 PST

Creative uses for shallots

A flavoring for many food dishes (minced, sliced, chopped, flambeed), a door stop, a pet, a light and refreshing skin softener, a tennis ball substitute, a temporary mouth bit for a very, ve...
Posted by bingo t. clown on Fri, 02 Sep 2005 03:48:00 PST