Jarrod - ProfilesArchive

About Me

A boorish iconoclast who is way more interesting in text.

Here's a list of pet peeves to be continually updated:

People who act like you ran over their foot whenever you roll or drive anything in front of them. That bit's a little played out, fucker. It was only funny when, well, no, it wasn't.

Orange County Libertarian "Git off mah land!" types who are, for some reason, pro-war. "Cause I ain't down for payin' no taxes unless they're for the blatant promotion of hatred and intolerance!"

The sound of a bong. Even moreso, the fuckholes who use it in their shitty music to further appeal to the dumbest demographic possible.

People who think Andy Dick is funny, and/or have no qualms with poppin' the ol' corn and throwin on a Dane Cook movie.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Any individual or group included in the ever-growing iconic mass of ideals and integrity expressed through politics, religion, or art which has pushed me to become who I am today. To be more specific, here is a short list (sorry if I forgot you!):

George W. Bush & his amazing family, Donald Rumsfeld, John Ashcroft, Dick Cheney, Rupert Murdoch, Paul McGuire, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Trent Lott, Dennis Hastert, Mark Foley, Rick Santorum, Kenneth Lay, Jeffrey Skilling, Dennis Kozlowski, Martha Stewart, and the entire network of Young Republicans and aspiring entrepreneurs across America.

Billy Graham, Jerry Falwell, Tom Haggard, Mel Gibson, Fred Phelps, Shirley Phelps-Roper, Bernard Francis Law, John Geoghan, Joseph Keith Symons, Sean P. O'Malley, and every angel out there doing God's work.

Panic! at the Disco, My Chemical Romance, Fallout Boy, Papa Roach, Scott Stapp, Kid Rock, AFI, Kevin Federline, Thursday, Aaron Lewis, Hawthorne Heights, Thrice, Wolfmother, The Killers, Jessica Simpson, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, Ashton Kutcher, Dennis Miller, Larry the Cable Guy, Ron White, Michael Richards, Fred Durst, The Used, Avenged Sevenfold, Dashboard Confessional, Evanescence, and all other musicians, comedians, and actors with the balls to be original and true.

Music:

Serj Tankian - Empty Walls
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Movies:

clash of the titans, the neverending story, office space, cannibal! the musical, wet hot american summer, death to smoochy, shaun of the dead, groundhog day, falling down, edward scissorhands, beetlejuice, shrek, shrek 2, wayne's world, donnie darko, clue, the 'burbs, sin city, the princess bride, the usual suspects, and of course the greatest epic masterpiece of our time: You Got Served.

Television:

arrested development, mr. show, family guy, aqua teen hunger force, sealab 2021, home movies, chapelle's show, the critic, oz, deadwood, south park, my name is earl, lost, touched by an angel

Books:

clifford's touch-and-feel day, anything Stephen King, to kill a mockingbird, lord of the flies, is this too generic?

Heroes:

shel silverstein, bernard laplante, phil shane, and Gambit

My Blog

SpeakForYourself.Dumbass

While heralded by many as the greatest vehicle of free speech that the world has ever known, the Internet has honestly become the world's bathroom stall of modern culture. In the same vain of...
Posted by Jarrod on Tue, 25 Sep 2007 02:21:00 PST

Anarchy in the A.P.

We're only just past the third week of college football, and the Associated Press has already done all it can to deliver the Southeastern Conference (SEC) a swift kick to the sperm-berries in the form...
Posted by Jarrod on Thu, 20 Sep 2007 04:26:00 PST

Please Try This at Home:

..and burn your own nuts off in the process.Yes, thought we've lived in California for four years, we still know how to prove our heritage of Shreveport, Louisiana: a national contender in arson.First...
Posted by Jarrod on Wed, 19 Sep 2007 02:48:00 PST

Holy Crap.

During a brief lecture on Moses the first week of class, my history professor paused the discussion right after the best part of the story, where Charlton Heston raised his hands dramatically and, by ...
Posted by Jarrod on Wed, 12 Sep 2007 02:03:00 PST

Yay 9/11ish stuff...

A new bill, SB-924, has been passed from the hands of the state Senate to Governor Schwarzenegger. If approved, the bill would allow California voters to voice their opinions on the Iraq war on the ba...
Posted by Jarrod on Wed, 12 Sep 2007 01:52:00 PST

Fall into the Generation Gap:

Last Saturday, I celebrated the latest anniversary of the date on which I was born and thus began the long march toward death. And here I am now, fully orientated at 26 years old, just ...
Posted by Jarrod on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:37:00 PST

It's like hitting yourself in the nuts:

My eyes opened this morning at around 10:30 (roughly 12 hours ago) as has been the norm most mornings since ending my loving relationship with Sam's Club. Immediately after taking note that the sun wa...
Posted by Jarrod on Tue, 31 Jul 2007 11:29:00 PST

BMWs, Snotty Bitches, and You (A P.S.A.)

One night walking home from Trader Joe's around the corner (on this night, I hadn't the slightest inclination to endure the high-societal thrills of the rollercoaster of price...
Posted by Jarrod on Tue, 17 Jul 2007 05:25:00 PST

For Those Who Can Put "Duh Hut" and "No Shit" Together:

One early afternoon last week, my appetite, screaming for a salad full of the treats and fixins only known to the pretentious health-nut socialites of the Silver Lake/Los Feliz area, sent me careening...
Posted by Jarrod on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 12:26:00 PST

Transformers: My Review.

Michael Bay serves as the director. Linkin Park's marginal and irritating crooning somehow serves as the theme music for the film and its previews.Unless you're either 10 or 100, Transformers sucked. ...
Posted by Jarrod on Fri, 13 Jul 2007 04:27:00 PST