HANKDAWG

First born son of two well known circus performers, Hankdawg's earliest memories revolve around being ogled by onlookers as "World's Ugliest Baby" as part of the Bartram and Hartley Traveling Circus and Freak Show. By age five he joined his parents and became the youngest member of the legendary "High Flying Harzinski Family" as they performed trapeze and other aerial stunts for onlookers across the globe. An untimely mishap in 1983 on an American broadcast of Circus of the Stars ended Hankdawg's trapeze career when he slipped out of the grasp of Tom Cruise's hands. It was later determined that Mr. Cruise had failed to properly rosin his hands before the performance. 8 years old, unable to perform in the circus anymore, and subsequently abandoned by his parents, young Hankdawg drifted by boxcar and truck across the United States. He often lived on the streets though he amassed a large network of flop houses that he was able to stay in by telling jokes, singing on street corners and in bars, and by telling stories on stoops. At the age of 12 he took a job in Kearney, Nebraska as a combine operator and truck driver. The money was good, but the hours were long, and his allergies were getting the best of him. So after five years, the still youthful Hankdawg left to drift again leaving a wake of tears amongst many a mid-western girl. He drifted to a small Pennsylvania town where he was captured by a family that forced him to milk cows and listen to their bullshit stories for three and half years. Late one night he managed to make his escape in the back of a Land-O-Lakes milk truck headed for Philadelphia. His big break came in 1997 while attending a Geez Magoo and Kalamazoo Bluegrass Show at Penn's Landing in Philadelphia. It was there he ran into the Fuller family and was asked to join their fledging honky tonk band which later became known amongst those in the Delaware music underground as "Hank and Joe's Circus and Freakshow", a name that beckoned painful memories of Hankdawg's childhood. The band would blow the roof off of the East End Cafe' in Dempsey, Arkansas only to be run out of town for playing "Cocaine Blues" as a curtain call. They went on to record a short album that was stolen by a studio engineer who later sold the rights to all of thier songs to the Estate of Michael Jackson. Despite their untapped potential, the band split up as Hankdawg drifted South again. After two failed attempts to win the Presidency in 2000 and 2004 he carpetbagged his way to a Southern New Jersey town where he would serve as unofficial mayor. The stress of New Jersey politics along with his inability to pay car insurance forced him to leave the state before the end of his term. He would eventually land a job in sales, living a life of relative obscurity coupled with the occasional run in with people from his past that recognized him. Hankdawg's future is relatively uncertain, but he has assured us that he has no plans to return to the limelight or the circus. He writes under several pseuodonyms including Hank F. Dawg, Abraham Lincoln, George Will, and Dan Brown, however he prefers to keep a low profile, traveling only to see his wonderful girlfriend and his music and circus friends across the country. He plans to reunite with his parents sometime in the next year or so, but his shrink feels he needs more time before taking that step. This site is dedicated to his life and times.