The Skumbags

one day in 2001, durring a wild summer of hanging out and breaking shit a group of punk music enthusiast decide to form the worlds greatest thrash/punk band there ever was, but with great failure, fell short of that goal. this is the self proclaimed legend...in a dead land called Lake Havasu City ,AZ(now featured on maps)where its too hot to do anything.except play video games and listen to music in your hot sweaty ass room.some may of ventured as far as the garage, wich is a pretty good place to start a band.and so, they did.inspired by bad movies and video games,these study dudes manage to squirt out such light hits as "I heart Nintendo"(featured on the now 13 comp.) and "last resort"(soundtrack to our lives).although the actual members are unknown, word on the street is that you don't want to fuck with them or they'll piss in your shoes and make you walk home.Legend also has it that there live stage disasters are acts that will surely ripple into time, such as pinyatta sacrifices,high diving into a Styrofoam toilet filled with...brown stuff,lighting arms on fire,gratuitous band violence,PG gay jokes,and destroying everything on stage.it wasn't after a few shows,fellow local bands realized that they didn't have any equipment so they just barrow theres...simple as that.they just wanna rock...with other peoples stuff.they did manage to gain access to what they would call "their own stuff" thanks to good people with good names.and so a wild year of insane shows (and the pictures to prove it) even a few run ins with the local authority types. they called it quits as half the band announces their leave in the middle of the set at the one year anniversary show on April 13 2002 with diverged. that was to be know as the pinnacle of the bands career and if you didn't see what went down at that show your are scientifically fucked.thus the return of the dark ages. one month after their first death.the two remaining skumbagees sought out to fill the void of (instrument) and ( other instrument) mock applications were sent out to the farthest corners of down town where countless applicants(6) replied.all but one had no interest in being in the band, they just thought it would be fun to fill out while they drank beer. and the one innocent went through immediate brainwashing processes where everything he knew was wrong.and how to pound those things like fuckin jack hammas.and so the recruit learned the trick of the trade and gained a massive social boost in the lunch table.and from there, a wave of falling in and out of fill ins and resurrections.they dragged on a few more years of new material and online fist fights.the skumbags invaded a few neighboring cities where the first impression always counts : p... those venues are no longer in business. after a while a few band members set some priorities, which in this case, was not the skumbags. and the other member had to go to vegas to get skinny. so down to one man (skumbag) he figured that they might as well record an album and call it history. but in all attempts no one wanted to work with these smart ass mother fuckers so they got the big run around.due to lack of interest, the skumbag managed to release a 28 min cd rom "excellent ravage" which features live footage of some wild shit.but they released it as a "CD" so no one knew about the cd rom. so when you put it in your cd player you get 21 songs of nintendo synth dance versions(thanks to the help of action jackson) of all the thrash favorites as a decoy.what a jackass.theres also a bootleg of a notorious Halloween show floating around somewhere.they have been know to resurrect for certain events.that have food.new neo testament:after the latest resurrection, the band did a wild thrash revival in some local flagstaff joint.in perfect skumbag fashion the stage and everything on it was destroyed,then a slap fight broke out,and after the feed back died down all members of the skumbags quit the band.but still leave the band as a intangible power that no one can comprehend.the skumbags publicly announced the change of a new era of thinking and a new level of expression...and no one had a problem with that because they were the Skumbags and they can do anything they want,and get away with just about anything. and also dares those who follow this path of destruction....for more info see "NINJA VANISH!"at http://www.myspace.com/TBA and continue fucking off...the SKUMBAGS are also available for birthday parties,funerals,battle ship christenings,background music for high school keggers,movie soundtracks,idea parades,evictions,and other social gatherings.bring a shovel.