Jóhannes Toftegaard profile picture

Jóhannes Toftegaard

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

Hi, my name is Jóhannes and I live on a rock in the north atlantic. (it's called Eysturoy )
I was born in the late seventies, and sin c e then I've spent most of my time here on this rock.

Which Empire Records Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

My Interests

First and foremost it's Emma!! My wonderfull and beautiful daughter, she is 3 years old now.
And then there are all the usuall: movies, tv, boobs, books, butterflies, intercourse, comedy, smoking, long walks along the shore, sleeping, talking, hearing myself talk, watching myself talk, reading about myself talking, watching other people watching me while I talk and of cource photography.

I almost forgot to mention that I also like to put things on top of other things.
Quotes Hey baby, you got girlfriend Vietnam? Me so horny. Me love you long time.
Games Settlers of Catan , Yahtzee , Risk , Sjavs , Will It Float, Scrabble , Trivial Pursuit , and more...
Bodyparts Two inches to the right of a very naughty bit indeed

I'd like to meet:

John Cleese , Kevin Smith , Tom Green and perhaps You if you're nice.

Books:

Green Rizla

Heroes:

Tróndur í Gøtu , Paul the Apostle , Hiro Nakamura , Jesus of Nazareth , Kevin Smith , Frank Castle and Tom Green
Things A Corona glass mug , one swedish-made penis enlarger, one flugelbinder and a small stone I found on a mountain top once.

Jóhannes Toftegaard's Details

Status: Single
Here for: Networking, Friends
Orientation: Straight
Hometown: Fuglafjørður
Body Type: 185cm / Cute
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
Religion: Christian.
Sign: Bottle
Smoke / Drink: Almost Anything
Children: Emma
Occupation: School of Life
Income: Enough

My Blog

How To Impress

How to Impress a Woman:Compliment her,cuddle her,kiss her,caress her,love her,stroke her,tease her,comfort her,protect her,hug her,hold her,spend money on her,wine & dine her,listen to her,care fo...
Posted by Jóhannes Toftegaard on Sat, 15 Dec 2007 06:26:00 PST

the difference between women and men

...
Posted by Jóhannes Toftegaard on Sat, 17 Nov 2007 03:57:00 PST

TOP REASONS WHY EVE WAS CREATED

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions. 9. God knew that one...
Posted by Jóhannes Toftegaard on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 02:07:00 PST

Online dating

    What to expect when reading the singles advertisements.        Adverts from Women        40-ish....................48&nbs...
Posted by Jóhannes Toftegaard on Tue, 16 Oct 2007 03:39:00 PST

reason for headaches

...
Posted by Jóhannes Toftegaard on Sun, 14 Oct 2007 07:15:00 PST

it ain’t easy being a dick


Posted by Jóhannes Toftegaard on Sun, 14 Oct 2007 07:39:00 PST

HAZARDOUS MATERIALS - DATA SHEET

*********************************************HAZARDOUS MATERIALSDATA SHEETANALYSISElement: WomanSymbol: ?Discoverer: AdamAtomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45kg to 225kgOccurrence: ...
Posted by Jóhannes Toftegaard on Mon, 08 Oct 2007 01:16:00 PST

Its a "Guy Thing".........

 "It's a guy thing."Really means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,and you have no chance at all of making it logical.""Can I help with dinner?"Really means: "Why isn't it ...
Posted by Jóhannes Toftegaard on Mon, 01 Oct 2007 01:35:00 PST

Womens language translated!

Yes = NoNo = YesMaybe = NoI'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.We need... = I wantIt's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.Do what you want... = You'll pay for this later.We need to ...
Posted by Jóhannes Toftegaard on Sat, 29 Sep 2007 03:41:00 PST