El Fuego Johnson profile picture

El Fuego Johnson

Are you having a laugh? Is he having laugh?

About Me

Some might recognize me from the T.V. show COPS and or Court T.V. I was arrested a record 10 times for public drunkenness and indecent exposure. Damn those bingo games can get out of hand, I told them that I had bingo dammit but they just would not listen. I reprezent da realness at all times Werd! I have lots of things that I do in life one of them being a stand up comedian, and a professional drinker. I think they go hand in hand comic, alcoholic. See they both end in ic. When I am not onstage telling jokes, drinking, playing records, or pretending to be a musician I play a mean triangle, and tambourine, or making sweet, sweet love to 5 exotic beautiful women. I enjoy music, movies, football Tampa Bay Bucs! Or hanging with my friends.

My Interests

I am into general tomfoolery, shenanigans, and debauchery on occasion. I like comedy, drinking, music, river dancing to traditional music from the Homeland, and seeing how much Rum it takes before somebody starts to act like a pirate. I travel from town to town doing stand-up; after ahh what a life! I also enjoy brushing my teeth with my new Sonic Care 4300 model tooth brush. When I am not doing any of these things,or getting kicked out of numerous casinos/bars in Vegas. I play records while I drink. I am also trying to improve international relations with Russia by starting a blankets for Vodka program working in conjunction with Stolichnaya we hope to have it off the ground by 2007.

I'd like to meet:

There are a lot of people that I would like to meet. A few would be, The original cast of Hee-Haw, Bill Murray, Joey from Blossom, A Pirate, Bob Odekirk, John Gruden, A women who will be sensitive to my needs as a person, Dave Attell, Nigel Goodrich, Sylvia Massey, SUPERGREG!, Ian Curtis, Martin Scorsese, James Dean, the guy who would not believe that I had bingo and called the Cops, Betty Page gearheads from Little 5points, people who see the genius of the Ernest P Worrell movies, people who like penguins and you. -------Hit me up AIM stylee medicalgrade1-------

Music:

All time would have to go The Smiths, Joy Division, New Order, and Velvet Underground. Stuff I am into. Sigur Ros, Radiohead, Travis, Nirvana, Joanna Newsome, The Postal Service, Stereolab, Depeche Mode, Interpol, Johnny Cash, Metric, The Church, The Animals, Queens of the Stone Age, Placebo, Lamb, Motorhead, Thievery Corp., The Dears, Boards of Canada, MSTRKRFT, Robert Johnson, Astrud Gilberto, Three Times 1 Minus 1, Muse, Autolux, The Pretenders, ZAMFIR, Flunk, My Bloody Valentine, The Kooks, Jam Pony Express, The New Pornographers, Longwave, American Analog Set, Brothers in Rhythm, Nathan Fake, Broken Social Scene, Filia Brazilia, Forget Cassettes, 808 State, The High Violets, Freaky Chakra, Single Cell Orchestra, The Sounds, Mum, Echo and the Bunnymen, Massive Attack, The Rakes, Leadbelly, PJ Harvey, Heart, The Cars, Dave Brubeck, The Psychedelic Furs, CSS, New Young Pony Club, Secret Machines, Flogging Molly, The Cribs, M83, Beard Rock, and a whole lot more.

Movies:

I have a lot, here are a few. Braveheart, Urban Cowboy, 24hour Party People, Dummy, Goodfellas, Office Space, The Dancing Outlaw, Alien, Bladerunner, Lost in Translation, Comedian, Gladiator, Swingers, Spies Like Us, Rules of Attraction, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Burbs, Risky Buisness, Donnie Darko, Igby Goes Down, The Color of Money, High Fidelity, Glengarry Glen Ross, Gangs of New York, Human Traffic, Decline of Western Civilization Part 2 The Metal Years, The Good The Bad and The Ugly, Rebel Without A Cause, The Hustler. And tons more.

Television:

I dont watch a lot of TV. American Idol SUCKS!! We have enough crappy music in the world we dont need a show that will put out more. The shows I do watch are Extras, The Ben Stiller Show, Mr. Show, Rome, DTMS anything they show is pretty good. Soccer, Futbol, and Football!

Books:

Less Than Zero, The Informers, American Scream The Bill Hicks story, Survivor, The Stars My Destination, The Demolished Man, The Rum Diary, Suicide Pumpkins, Girlfriend in a Coma, Cigar City Mafia, Lamb, Island of the Sequined Love Nun, Coyote Blue, Bloodsucking Fiends, Christopher Moore is a bad ass!

Heroes:

My entire family, Santo Trafficante Jr., my friends, Pirates, Supergreg, The people who work for Tecate, and Mimes who really push the boundaries of the pantomime craft.

My Blog

Top five for 2007

All right here we go... Most Fun Moments   1- My birthday in South Beach 2- Performing at the Earl 3- Scoring the 1 goal in the soccer match 4- Getting attacked by a girl at the 5-spot afte...
Posted by El Fuego Johnson on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 09:12:00 PST

Show August 4th!!!!!!!

Whats going down everyone? Just wanted to let you know that My good friend Woody McAdams and I will be doing a show at Relapse Theater August 4th. We will also have some other really, really great com...
Posted by El Fuego Johnson on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 12:55:00 PST

Ok, here it is.......

The next big show I'm doing is Saturday, February 24th at the Relapse theater. Doors open at 8:30pm. (As you can tell by my new name) Cost is $10 at the door. This show is already going to be huge. I'...
Posted by El Fuego Johnson on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 06:24:00 PST

Comedy and he Homeric tale.......

Discovering comedy for me has been hard. I was reading today in Archeology Weekly, yes I am that big of a dork about a German archeologist named Heinrich Schliemann who went out to find the lost city...
Posted by El Fuego Johnson on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 06:41:00 PST

Snorg Tee's

Please use another model than the one you are CONSTANTLY using. I am growing tired of her bugged out expression that she always sports. I am sure she is a cool girl and all, but she always has this ex...
Posted by El Fuego Johnson on Wed, 02 Aug 2006 11:29:00 PST

Dan Weeks V 2.0

Whats happening peeps. Thats slang for people. Growing up on the hard streets of Countryside Florida taught me that to be hard you have to talk in slang. As you can see, Ive revamped my myspace page n...
Posted by El Fuego Johnson on Mon, 05 Jun 2006 04:00:00 PST

This is where I'm at...

Lets see its been a while since Ive posted in the Captins Log, ha ha log. I have gone through some crazy stuff the past week, I just had my Uncle who I admire and respect more than anything pass awa...
Posted by El Fuego Johnson on Sun, 22 Jan 2006 12:42:00 PST

GIRLS WITH WEBCAMS STOP ASKING ME TO BE YOUR FRIEND!!

Please stop emailing me with this absolutely canned email saying hey I am new and I wanted to be your friend, oh by the way I have my webcam turned on if you want go to www.hotchickswithnoselfesteem....
Posted by El Fuego Johnson on Sun, 13 Nov 2005 09:15:00 PST

What do you what to do with your life??

I seem to get asked this a lot and it has been a common theme in my life for the past several years. I really have no clue. I feel that there are a unlimited number of avenues that I have yet to explo...
Posted by El Fuego Johnson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Am I the only one????

Am I the only one that thinks the Kill Bill series is complete regurgitated crap? I mean there has to be some sort of line between tribute film and ripping everyone the fack off? I really dont like hi...
Posted by El Fuego Johnson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST