Digital Bitchslap profile picture

Digital Bitchslap

Go crawling to your intellect, and ask for its advice...

About Me


I edited my profile with some shit with Tom's name on it.
Amuse yourself briefly: a free tutorial on how to talk to a female .
Stare down your nose at me and I'll break it for you.
I heart Jesus. I heart my mom.
Talk any trash about either and lose your teeth on my boot heel.
I have an ANA disorder and have been advised that I should not be able to walk, dance, work, do yoga, play plaintball, ride motorcycles, or have children. And yet I do all of the above... except children, yet.
I run with the Nerd Herd. Are you geeky enough?
I support independent economy.
This means: I Am A Chain Breaker. not affiliated with the terrorist organization known as PETA, but I am an animal rights advocate and activist.
I can hook ya up with skin/body products from Arbonne , a company that uses vegan-grade formulas and does not test on animals.
"Beauty Without Cruelty".
Hit me up.
P.B.P.G.I.N.F.W.M.Y. (google it.)
Born-again christian. Post-traumatic troubador.
(Part Dana Scully, part Tank Girl.)
I laugh a lot. I cry a lot. It's healthy. Try it.
I'm a damn good cook. I make my own home made soups, breads, stirfry, lasagna, and fruit puree. Go on. Challenge me.
I am 105 lbs of pure terror.
But I'm here for you if you need me.
I am tolerant of people who are tolerant of me. It's a 2-way street.
I have very specific beliefs that are the foundation of my choice of faith. If you are like-minded, that's great. If you are not, that's also fine with me.
BUT under no circumstances will I allow anyone to mock my beliefs.
If you can't see past the fact that I'm a born-again then I'm not sorry.
You will NOT use my profile space as a soapbox for spewing hate.

My Interests

Greta's memory.

My rat, Zelda!
animals
attending/creating music
awesome road trips
all-nighters at the diner
BDSM
fetish
biology/human sciences
books
guitar
PAINTBALL
photography
linguistics:
---german
---russian
---spanglish
LJ
my fish
my friends
my pet snails
sculpture and paint
tantric cuddling LOL
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
writing digital music
And...
I am a cell phone text message whore.
Consider yourself warned.

I'd like to meet:

† Compassionate and proactive people.

† People who love life and are unafraid of it.

† ... who will challenge me, push me and shatter my thresholds in awesome ways.

† ... who are open and honest.
I do not tolerate liars, manipulators or shady/sneaky people.

† ... who can read the lyrical equivalent of how i sometimes feel and actually understand it.

† Geeks, nerds, dorks, dweebs, hellions and bitches like myself.

† Other straightedgers. I prefer to party with people who aren't all kinds of fucked up all the time.

† Other born-overs. I would love to do book studies with you. Or just enjoy uplifting fellowship.

† Other vegans, for eating and hanging out. You know how hard it is to eat out, so let's go out and eat together.

† Other paintballers, especially chicks, and other rollerbladers. Maybe even roller derby grrrlz.

† Other writers and mixers/musicians.
I am becoming owned by music software and am writing stuff at a freakish rate.
I also write fan fiction. Like mad.

By the way... Do not try to add me unless I know you through some degree of separation. If you're a stranger to me, have some common decency and send a message first. It takes like 30 seconds.

I do not add random horny assholes looking for some hot girlies to put in their tacky little "Top Friends" harem.
Seriously. Go play in traffic.
Heavy traffic.

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Music:

All kinds of soundscape.
[mostly "angry snatch" music]
Alanis
Ani DiFranco
Anna Nalick
Antigone Rising
Arielle Silver
Audioslave
Beethoven
bjork
Chemical Bros
Covenant
Creedence Clearwater _Revival
Cruxshadows
Danny Elfman
Dead Can Dance
Depeche Mode
dj Rory J
Dumasz
Enya
Faith&TheMuse
Fiona Apple
Fischerspooner
Frank Zappa
Gorillaz
Grieg
H.I.M.
iMogen Heap
Jada
Jennifer Knapp
Johnny Cash

KJ-52 (Five Tweezy!)
Kutless
Led Zeppelin
Loop Guru
Loreena McKennitt
Massive Attack
Massivivid
Mazzy Star
Melissa Ferrick
Mike Oldfield
Nick Cave

Nirvana
Orbital
Ozzy
Perfume Tree
Pillar
Pink Floyd
pj harvey
Plumb (this girl ROCKS)
POD
Portishead
Prodigy
Qntal
RATM
relient K
RHCP
Rocco DeLuca
Rufus Wainright
Saltillo
Sara Brightman
Sarah Kelly
Siddal
Sinead O'Connor
Smashing Pumpkins
Sonicflood
Stavesacre
Stygian Veil
Tom Petty
ToN
Tori
Tracy Chapman
U2
Utah Phillips
Wolfsheim

Movies:

I have a rather unhealthy fixation on Fairuza Balk.

Amelie
A Scanner Darkly
Big Fish
The Birdcage
Borat
Braveheart
Crouching Tiger
City of Lost Children
The Corpration
The Crow
The Dark Crystal
documentaries about things that piss me off
Dune (old and new)
Eat Drink Man Woman
End of the Spear
Flicker
The Forgotten
Foxfire
HeLLboy
Hero
Hitchhiker's Guide
Kung Fu Hustle (best/worst movie EVER)

Labyrinth
Lost Souls
Mean Girls
Napolean Dynamite
Neverending Story
Ray
Riddick
The Science of Sleep
the Shrek trilogy
Star Wars stuff
Stigmata
Walk The Line
Woman Thou Art Loosed
XMen trilogy
The Yes Men

Television:

Adult Swim
Battlestar Galactica (new sci-fi remake)

[I am SO Starbuck]

Beauty and the Geek
CSI
Dexter's Lab
The Daily Show
Meerkat Manor
Power Puff Girls
SNL
TMNT
Ugly Betty
VH1 Pop-Up Videos
whatever you're watching right now

Books:

I read everything.
Books.
Blogs.
Mags.
Microwave instructions.
Shampoo bottles.
Warning labels.
Specifically, I read:
HitchHiker's Guide (Adams)
William Dembski
Kahlil Gibran
James Gleick
Bill Gothard
George MacDonald
Beth Moore
Saberhagen
Carl Sagan
Shel Silverstein
Tolkien
Some new favorites: "The Devil in the Details" by Jennifer Traig (hilarious OCD chronicle)
"He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Behrendt.

The one book that is totally holding me hostage right now is by Joanne Harris, titled
"Sleep, Pale Sister".

This book will positively BLOW YOU AWAY.
Read a review here .

Heroes:

JC.
Theresa.
My mom.
Albert.
Mahatma.
People who can treat one another like human beings.
People who are totally alive.

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My Blog

ratting around

She gets "out time" every night after I settle in. The bedroom door closes low enough that she cannot get out of the room. So while I sit at the laptop, read a book or talk on the phone, she's scurryi...
Posted by Digital Bitchslap on Tue, 27 May 2008 06:09:00 PST

goosed

Wednesday I came home from work and sat on the porch, watching the field across the street.I saw a gaggle of visitors wading through the muddy grass picking at bugs. Feeling brazen, I grabbed my came...
Posted by Digital Bitchslap on Sat, 24 May 2008 01:45:00 PST

cat bathing as a martial art

My room mate's cats had gotten into some mud and grease, and we decided to bathe them both yesterday. The resulting footage is hi-ster-i-cal.This is Hercules. The after-bath pics...
Posted by Digital Bitchslap on Mon, 19 May 2008 09:06:00 PST

43.PS.260.10

She has a new ad in the local paper for a vet technician (because she can't keep staff).There was one inaccuracy: it was posted in employment, and should have been in the volunteer section.One should ...
Posted by Digital Bitchslap on Fri, 16 May 2008 10:12:00 PST

in related news...

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. (Say that five times fast.) Designed to raise awareness about the plethora of struggles inherent to the human condition, this is a great time to explore the unko...
Posted by Digital Bitchslap on Wed, 14 May 2008 09:49:00 PST

dawg

Barclay has the new puppy! He adopted a norwegian elkhound & belgian malinois mix, and he's the cutest thing you've ever seen. Meet the newest fuzzbutt to the clan: Johann! Look at those feets.The...
Posted by Digital Bitchslap on Mon, 12 May 2008 12:01:00 PST

fuzzbutts

The sun shines, no matter where you view it from. The first night in this new house was her last with me. Now when I wake up I feel her here but it is still so new and strange. My bedroom windows face...
Posted by Digital Bitchslap on Mon, 12 May 2008 11:27:00 PST

Jan 1994 - Apr 2008

I am not yet prepared to write out the whole story, but I am posting this so that it is known. A few of you heard directly from me this past weekend and all day monday. For those of you who did not: G...
Posted by Digital Bitchslap on Sun, 20 Apr 2008 12:19:00 PST

the light at my feet

Not a single dayCan I discern my way,But this I surely know:He who makes the dayWill show the way,And thus I surely go.anonymousNo matter what this situation becomes, I know where my ethics are.I know...
Posted by Digital Bitchslap on Sat, 12 Apr 2008 05:20:00 PST

adventures in moving, vol. 1

Note To Self:When throwing tons of random objects into boxes, check said objects before sealing them up inside.I stacked a bunch of computer-related crap together into a box without really going throu...
Posted by Digital Bitchslap on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 06:48:00 PST