The Mentally ill, Conservative Pundits, Liberal Zealots, Candlepin Bowling, Shitty Bars, Late Night Fat Consumption, Artificial Cheese, Gullible Idiots, Aloe Vera, 100% deet, Being retardedly drunk, being frighteningly sober...
well-spoken babies, self-loathing hipsters, ugly chicks who wear a lot of makeup, hot chicks who still wear non-functional belts, displaced sex kittens, hockey players, japanese film makers, spam sluts, cry babies, phenylkeutenorics, anyone who uses m-e-a-t as a transitive verb, insomniacs who don't whine about it, the gay and drunk keifer sutherland, the sober gary the retard, cheryl hines, and fake people.
2 minute songs with nasty pop hooks and a whiny, almost emasculine, male singer, who sings like a castrated brit but is really canadian, and it's all mashed up with shades of the cure and shades of les savy fav, modest mouse, mercury rev, built to spill, neutral milk hotel, yo la tengo. In fact, just play goodnight, goodnight, and i'm good, at least for now. also it helps to jack a nursery rhyme rhythm or some christmas carol shit and play it with a saw. the saw is actually the most important thing. but more important than that is the aforementioned castrated canadian. also i should mention, i have a soft spot in my heart for welsh people, but not so much that i like the band catatonia.
make a recommendation. Here's some samples. Cable Guy, Donnie Darko, Rushmore, Amelie, Big Lebowski, The Princess Bride, 12 Monkeys, She's All That, True Romance, Flirting with Disaster, and anything involving Time Travel, future dystopia, or nostalgia. Find me some shit like that. And let me know if there was a movie that everyone hated, but you think is good, and don't say Zoolander, because it's a real piece of shit.
Simpsons, Family Guy, The Daily Show, Hardball w/ Chris Matthews, 24, History Channel, South Park, Lifetime Movies, City Confidential, Seinfeld, Naked Chef, Everyday Italian, American Chopper, Bullshit, Three's Company, Live Sports, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Six Feet Under, Deadwood.
The OED, Going Nucular, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Catch-22, Stupid White Men, things by Bill Bryson, things about technology taking over the world, Blood Orchids, Lies My Teacher told me, my 1962 Edition of World Book because JFK's still alive and white people are called caucasoids. And generally anything nonfiction about government fuckovers, diseases, & love.