i probably won't get along with your wife/girlfriend.
I once gave a flawless presentation on the stamp act and referred to a poster that i had drawn. The poster in question, which i held in front of the class for all to see, was a blank piece of poster board. When asked why she could not see the poster by my teacher, i simply explained to her that the poster was in pencil.
My friend Erica and I once stuffed paper towels into a small opening in the wall in the girls' bathroom at Kent Gardens Elementary School in an attempt to save some for ourselves, as the towel dispenser was frequently empty by the time the second grade got its bathroom break. That opening stuffed with paper towels turned out to be the heater, and our efforts started a large fire.
In the 7th grade, I told Brendan McKay that Jerry Seinfeld was my uncle without shame or regret.
But at least I wasn't the kid who threw up in the glockenspeil.
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