Count Bastardo The 666th profile picture

Count Bastardo The 666th

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

Greetings, and welcome to my corner of the myspaceiverse.

I am Count Bastardo The 666th, close friends in my inner circle know me as Mark. I am a metaller with "Goth" leanings, for instance, the love of pinstripe for example, and proper "Goth V1.1" music, such as The Cure, Sisters Of Mercy, Rosetta Stone, The Mission, Bauhaus and the like. Apparently, people tell me I look like a cross between Pete Steele (Type o Negative) and Satyr (Satyricon) and have an "educated scouse" accent sounding like Neil Buchannon out of the late 1980's/1990s British Kids TV show called Art Attack (so Venemous Beauty and her bloke tell me!). It's a quirk of the local geography I think, I'd have elocution lessons if I had the money (but that may make me sound pretentious).

I am somewhat of a geek at heart with the hobbies to match, I like my gadgetry and electronics due to King Bastardo The 665th being a manager of a Hi-Fi shop, and Comet back in the day when I was small and wee. So, I have lived with various gadgetry and technology from a young age as a result.

I love my music, even to the point of forking out daft amounts of money on a decent Hi-Fi separates system. I have a comprehensive collection of rock and metal music (Vinyl, CD, etc) and have followed it since I was 16. As an old mate of mine once said "If I had £10,000 - I would spend £5000 on beer, and £5000 on tunes". I think I would more or less do the same! My first bands I ever got into was Sepultura, Carcass, Bolt Thrower, Obituary, and Paradise Lost. After hearing the albums "Heartwork", "IVth Crusade", "The End Complete", and "Icon".

My first ever gig was back in December 1993, when I went to see Paradise Lost (touring the "Icon" album), and Sepultura (touring the "Chaos AD" album). I don't think many people can top that for losing their "concert virginity", playing the likes of "As I Die", "Embers Fire", "Collosal Rains", "Beneath The Remains", "Arise", "Chaos AD", and "Biotech is Godzilla". From that point on, there was no turning back for me, and I still love my metal today. As far as I am concerned Metal is not only a music taste, it's an important life code, culture and dare I say it, "Ethnic Group".

One time, while smashed off my face on beer, I discovered that there was more to Rock than power chords and strepsil sponsored vocals when I first heard Mike Oldfields "Ommadawn", and Ozric Tentacles "Become The Other". Then, I dabbled with listening to Led Zeppelin (I absolutely LOVE Led Zeppelin III), Pink Floyd (I was blown away by hearing "Meddle" for the first time, totally life altering), Jimi Hendrix, Steve Hillage, Hawkwind, and Deep Purple. As a consequence, my span of Rock is quite varied. But, this said, I don't get glam metal though!

I work for a place that sells and hires industrial machinery, which I refer to by the anonymous pseudonym of "Unimatrix One" since I left college many moons ago, the name chosen due to the alarmingly similar cut throat manner to that of the Borg collective from Star Trek. I hate working there due to all the nepotism (if the place had a family tree, it would be a stump), selfless back patting and mutual corporate masturbation. It's not all bad, I have a select few good work mates, with a warped and wacky sense of humour similar to that of the bastard child born from Monty Python and the UK version of The Office. I work there as a shirt and tie Administrator by day, and a Metaller at night and weekends.
I thrive off being against the grain, not scared to speak my mind, and generally turning "The Program" on its head being Unimatrix One's token metaller, I add a dash of much needed anarchy and colour to a dull environment full of boring identikit drones. When I am off work, I am conspicuous by my absence and missed by certain parties.

I'm a ranty, angst ridden bugger, with a curious charm. Often enigmatic to certain people. Very blunt, and just say what I see. If I think someone is a twunt, I will gladly tell them. Can't be bothered doing "Fake Nice" with people. I guess you can say I don't suffer fools gladly.
However, dig beneath the surface and I am a multi-faceted, complex, intelligent character - and can be a bloody good friend despite the above. But, no one is perfect! - Being a total nihilistic bastard is part of my manly essence! ;-)

Please note my blogs: I am using this as a generalized means of keeping in touch, pretty much like everybody. Not forgetting a means of venting my spleen and ranting. It's classic reading and developing something of a cult following.

DISCLAIMER(S): Please note that any similarities between people or places, living, or dead are entirely coincidental.

Viewpoints expressed within my myspace may conflict with your own ethics, morals and life code, and I accept no responsibility for offence caused. If my content causes offence, and you can't look at this in an open minded manner, then you have clearly found the wrong person, and you should look elsewhere. Does ambiguity mean anything to you? Look it up *winks suggestively*


My Interests

Gadgetry and electronics (Hi-Fi, mp3/mp4 players and nice cutting edge shiny technology, and so on and so forth. Things that make people go "Woah! that's cool"). Spending alarming amounts of man hours online and doing stuff on my PC, PC is my TV to be honest. I am a "mouse potato"!

Radio related hobbies (Scanning, SWL, Ham Radio, have dabbled with TV-DX in the past too, got back into it all since 2006. Damn eBay and radio forums!.

I am also one of the "Web Sherrifs" for the 11mdx.co.uk & Transmission1.co.uk radio forums.

Tropical Fishkeeping (that has now been shelved due to lack of space)

Mountain Bikes,
Making cutting and possibly sarcastic observations,
Ranting and swearing
Alcohol (Jack Daniels, Real ales like Theakstons Old Perculiar)

Socializing at designated rock gaffes like Jilly's, Maximes rock night, Krazy House (but find the Trends and Chav's somewhat militant over there and don't visit often as a result).

Rock establishments in the Yorkshire direction as a special treat for gigs and I have a really cool crew of friends I see occasionally and I.M. me and ring/text/email me to death, you know who you are!


A pathological fetish for collecting watches too, I own, like, 15+ of them. Started from being unable to find a watch one morning, and I was all "Wooo! get more than one watch - no running around looking for watch!". Needless to say, it's spiralled out of control over the years LMAO!

I'd like to meet:

Mainly fellow Metallers and Goths, to perhaps cross paths with someday, into similar music, gigs, etc.

It would be especially cool if you're employed in an office/clerical/white collar environment as I have a Myspace group where fellow Metallers/Goths/Rockers can vent their spleen, share experiences, and so on. Oh, and peeps that work in Banks or Post Offices qualify for membership too. Feel free to join The Administrative Slaughtercult.

I am not entirely sure about Emo's to be perfectly honest, they aren't "kvlt" enough, but that said at least they ain't Chav's (currently an inconclusive verdict). But I definitely loathe "fashonista fakers" that listen to "metal" because they heard it on their PS2 games, or on an advert.
Like those trend muppets that curiously flock in their droves to The Krazyhouse nightclub despite having 90% of crappy trend gaffs for them to go to.


Chav's can burn in hell. Radio hobbyists (specific key clues in video) very welcome (Ham Radio snob purists need not apply).

Oh, and decent, intelligent people too, if you aren't metal/metal enough.

Check out these sites too:
www.b3ta.com
www.cyriak.co.uk
www.fat-pie.com - The home of "Burnt Face Man", "Spoilsbury Toast Boy", and "Salad Fingers"

Probably the best sites in the world for humour, concentrated insanity, and sillyness. We salute you, you totally kick serious arse. Keep up the good work!

Music:

This week, I am mostly listening to:

Albums by Japan (formed by ex King Crimson member David Sylvian. And playing Meshuggah's latest album "Obzen" quite a fair bit. Now, if only they tour over here without pulling out (they have cancelled twice to date)


Metal and rock exclusively, from a wide span - Hendrix through to Darkthrone.

Random band name dropping:
Carcass, Bolt Thrower, First 3 Metallica albums ONLY, Cannibal Corpse, Finntroll, Jimi Hendrix, Tangerine Dream, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd, Ozric Tentacles, Dimmu Borgir, Deftones, Emperor....got a tonne of albums in various formats, far too long to mention them ALL, anything specific, PLEASE ASK...Come to think of it, the tracks in my Project Playlist, ahem, Playlist explain a fair bit!

I like Thrash, Traditional Rock and Metal,

Death and Black Metal are specialist subjects of mine

HATE 90% of NU METAL - get up to occasional tunes of that genre but generally only like Deftones and early Korn before they decided to suck arse. Hate Kerrang TV orientated popular fare like Green Day, Offspring, Good Charlotte. First band I ever hated was Wildhearts

Metal that sells out and "sheeps", like HIM. "Vile Valo" ain't getting any more of my cash LMAO!

Hair/Glam metal ain't my bag though...

Also like classical, such as:
Beethoven
Joacquin Rodrigo (ever heard "Concierto de Aranjuez" with all that spanish acoustic guitar? its AWESOME)
Mozart
Prokofiev
Stravinsky (love "The Firebird Suite")
Holst ("The Planet Suite" kicks ass)
Tchaikovsky
Vivaldi ("Four Seasons" is pretty awesome-age)
To name a few. Not into operatic stuff though, has to be intense classical with lots going on within the music.

Have a soft spot for a good few 1980's tunes with being a 1980s sprog, as such. All "allegedly" popular music mostly turned awful after 1987 when that Waterman twunt and his other two goons screwed with music on an irreparable level.

1980's tunes examples: Talk Talk, Kate Bush, Duran Duran, Japan, Depeche Mode, early OMD. Ultravox, Human League (the 1st album "Reproduction" is particularly interesting), Madness, Japan, Gary Numan, to quote some examples...

Seen numerous gigs, with bands at the height of their powers (Dec 1993: Sepultura & Paradise Lost, Summer 1996: Morbid Angel before Dave Vincent Left, Cradle Of Filth on the "Vempyre" tour before they lamed out. Dimmu kick their ass nowadays IMHO).

Most recent gigs:


Exodus, Evile, Gamma Bomb, Sheffield Corporation 12.04.2008
Divine Heresy & Blood Red Throne, 17.12.2007, Manchester Academy
Job For A Cowboy, Black Dahlia Murder, The Red Chord, 15.12.2007, Manchester Academy
Marilyn Manson & Turbonegro, Machester GMEX, 06.12.2007
Ozric Tentacles, Liverpool Academy 06.10.2007
Dimmu Borgir, Amaon Amarth & Hatepshere 30.09.2007, Manchester Academy
Type O Negative & Paradise Lost, Manchester Academy 19.06.2007

Concerts/Bands attended off immediate recollection (may contain omissions, and errors – too many gigs to recall man!):
Candlemass, Bradford Rio's 25.11.2005, me and Dave Taxidude met Messiah Marcolin. Got promo album and poster signed, he got a DVD signed, AWESOME GIG!
Nevermore, Bradford Rio's 2005
Deicide (Manchester, "Scars Of The Crucifix" tour 2004)
Finntroll & Amon Amarth (2007)
Paradise Lost & Sepultura (touring “Icon” & “Chaos AD” albums, Dec 1993 - at the height of their powers I may add. Concert virginity duly taken to the sounds of "Beneath The Remains" & "As I Die!! OMFG!!)
Nile (A couple of Decembers' ago @ Sheffield Corporation, met Karl Sanders & Dallas Tobler Wade. Karl Sanders signed ticket)
Black Sabbath & Cathedral (1994)
Brutal Truth, Macabre, & Pungent Stench (1994 – met Kevin Sharp and “Neffarious", signed flyers)
Morbid Angel (Summer 1996, Bradford Rio’s – met all band members & have signed flyer somewhere. Last tour Dave Vincent was in until he returned recently, top blokes)
Cradle Of Filth (“Vempire” tour Summer 1996, with a "fledgling" Opeth debuting their "Orchid" album – met members of C.O.F. own signed flag & vinyl copy of "The Principle Of Evil Made Flesh", their debut)
Fear Factory & Spineshank (“Obsolete” tour, met Johnny Santos, signed ticket)
Dream Theater (“Falling Into Infinity” 1997 tour, got ALL band members to sign 5 CD’s)
Hawkwind (c.2001 tour @ L’pool Royal Court)
Cathedral (c.2001 “Endtyme” tour)
Testament (c.2006 @ Bradford Rio’s)
Rammstein (c. 2002 “Mutter” tour)
Bolt Thrower (c.2006 @ Bradford Rio’s) - met my top 5 fave band!! CD’s signed, photo proof!)
Helloween (c.2006 @ Bradford Rio’s)
Tool (c.2006 – “10,000 Days” tour – Magnificent band – END SUBJECT!)
Marilyn Manson (c. 2003 “The Golden Age Of Grotesque” tour)
Deathstars & Mortiis (c.2007 – “Termination Bliss” tour)
Wednesday 13 & McQueen (c.2007 – “Fang Bang” tour)
Unholy Alliance tour (I went to see Slayer, not Slipknot!! How DARE Slipknot be headliners!! GRRR!)
Slayer (“God Hates Us All” tour, 2006, feat. Inflames, Lamb Of God, Children Of Bodom, Thine Eyes Bleed)
In Flames & Sepultura (2006. “Come Clarity” tour)

Movies:

Not really, have crap attention span for films to be honest. Love horror, and lots of stuff with death (Hellraiser), fire, explosions, and fast cars (James Bond KICKS ASS), some comedy. Ummm, Hellraiser films are pretty cool and nasty.

Fave is Roger Moore era James Bond. Love "The Spy Who Loved Me", "Moonraker", "Octopussy", "Live And Let Die". But, James Bond in general is IMMENSE!

Basically go out to the flicks with GF when we conclusively agree there is something cool to see. Don't really have too many films despite access to DVD, and DiVX for my Archos mp4 player.

Hate slusy, girly crap. Titanic is the WORST EVER film. Not based on the Titanic on a factual level, it's a Mills & Boon book turned into a film. 2hours of your life you will never get back!

Some random films:
The War Of The Worlds (Both the 1953 one AND the 2005 one. Loved the fact that in the 2005 one it has The Tripods like the book and the 1977 CBS musical interpretation. COOL AS FUCK!
White Noise
The Grudge films (either the Japanese or American versions)
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
The Shining
Poltergeist 1 & 2
House 1, 2, & 3
Phantasm films (early ones)
The Shining (Jack Nicholas, GREAT ACTOR in this film)
The Fog
Transformers (HOW ACE is that film, makes me feel like a 7 year old again!)
Carrie
IT
All the Saw films (none of them were boring and messed with your head. ACE!

Please ask regarding films for more detail if you wish

Television:

Don't really do TV to be honest.

But, I think the following RULE:

Beavis & Butthead (me and a good mate of mine can do the voices bang on!)
The Young Ones
Bottom
The Office
Peep Show
Blackadder
The Mary Whitehouse Experience, Newman and Baddiel - in pieces (revealing age there! eep!)
The Fast Show
Father Ted
Monty Python
Spike Milligan
Bill Bailey
Bill Hicks
Black Books
The League Of Gentleman
Ideal
Spaced (working my way through the DVD box set I bought in December sales)
Dylan Moran
The Smell of Reeves & Mortimer
Bang Bang it's Reeves & Mortimer
Top Gear (It annoyed me off when women took more interest when Richard Hammond nearly died, grrr!)
Whacky funny stuff like South Park, Happy Tree Friends, The Simpsons, Family Guy...just ask!

Hate soaps minus Hollyoaks for some odd reason. Always have blank DVD on hand to record it if I'm not home.

Books:

Nothing really, only buy magazines for information purposes for my music tastes and hobbies.

Last time I read something was a few wacky books bt Terry Pratchet, and a book called "Is It Just Me Or Is Everything Shit?" (note, the latter IS NOT made up!).

Read FHM, Terrorizer, hate Kerrang magazine and buy for tour dates as I can't be arsed looking online for them.

Heroes:

None. As, no one is infallible and you should never meet your heroes, for you will be disappointed.

Such as band members being complete twunts, like Cradle Of Filth for example (personal experience. The magazines are right, Dani Filth is an über twunt). Therefore, from that point, No - on a lot of different levels.

HOWEVER, this said, people (be they alive or not) I DEEM TO BE COOL would be:
Bill Hicks
Chuck Schuldiner
David Mitchell & Robert Webb (Peep Show)
Louis Varney - G5RV (creator of the infamous G5RV antenna)
Someone onced quoted "People that flip and go on random massacres", which amused me in a sick, twisted way.
Underdogs that finally get even with someone after a period of time

My Blog

A Unimatrix One phone call transcript (that was rather sarcastic)

Greetins my loyal subjects.Here's a quick one to tell you all.An incident that occurred today on the phone with a stupid arse customer at Unimatrix One. I deal with pricks like this all day, and this ...
Posted by Count Bastardo The 666th on Mon, 19 May 2008 12:32:00 PST

Enough of the rutting, quit filling the planet with morons...

Greetings loyal subjects,As a full time employed man in the UK that pays through the nose for what appears to be the very air that I breathe, I watched a documentary that had me incandescent with rage...
Posted by Count Bastardo The 666th on Tue, 29 Apr 2008 01:11:00 PST

Bastardos gig review (Arch Enemy, Opeth)

Greetings loyal subjects,In true tradition, I have come forth to report another gig review for your pleasure. The gig in question was Defenders of The Faith, held at the Manchester Academy on the 25th...
Posted by Count Bastardo The 666th on Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:51:00 PST

What the hell is going on? Is this week of the flashback or something?

Just a quick micro blog to share with my loyal subjects,I really don't know what is occuring, but this week is like "week of the flashback".This, has been happening on Facebook (and NO, don't even try...
Posted by Count Bastardo The 666th on Fri, 18 Apr 2008 08:25:00 PST

Last weekends Funshire, Part Two (Bastardos gig review, Exodus & Evile)

Saturdayshire:Last Saturday was the day of the Exodus, and Evile gig. There was much debating about the attendance of this gig due to many factors, notably the difficulty and faff of transportation ov...
Posted by Count Bastardo The 666th on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 02:42:00 PST

Last weekends Funshire, Part One

 Greetings loyal subjects,  There are two topics to go through in this latest blog. The first being last Friday, when I had the good fortune to meet at least 4 Myspace peeps for the first...
Posted by Count Bastardo The 666th on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 06:43:00 PST

Death to uncooperative shops!

Death to uncooperative shops!Greetings loyal subjects,The topic for this post is as the title suggests, Uncooperative shops.Now, I don’t have too much hassle with various shops on my travels whe...
Posted by Count Bastardo The 666th on Sun, 30 Mar 2008 02:52:00 PST

The Squarening

Greetings loyal subjects,I wish to document a worrying condition that may affect Rockers from the age of 23 years old onwards, usually peeking at 25 years old. I know people that have suffered from th...
Posted by Count Bastardo The 666th on Mon, 24 Mar 2008 09:45:00 PST

Face(ial shot) Book - The "Should I fucking bother?" Experience

Greetings loyal subjects,Some considerable time ago, probably not long after I joined the Myspaciverse, I decided to create a Face(ial shot)book for some random reason. At the time, a good friend of C...
Posted by Count Bastardo The 666th on Tue, 18 Mar 2008 04:16:00 PST

The Tale of the "Shaved Ape Gigolo"

This has just randomly entered my head. Inspired by someone that I know, a person that has returned from the past that I blogged some time ago. And, I feel that I have to cover this subject.  ...
Posted by Count Bastardo The 666th on Wed, 27 Feb 2008 01:06:00 PST