I'm tired of all these people claiming that I am the source of all evil and all these cliches about how terrible of a person I am. I mean, sure, I betrayed God, but I was younger and stupider then. It was just a simple mistake and then I became a fallen angel and all that hoo-ha. I just don't think it's fair. I mean, on a given day I'm typically a decent guy. Sure, I ran a giant sweat pit called Hell, but I give those tormented souls weekends and holidays sometimes (especially because the International Labor Commitee told me to lighten up their schedules, those guys can be such pricks). I like to draw, although I'm not particularly good at it, but I have all eternity to get better. I also like to play water polo. Down in Hell, we have a pretty good water polo team and we play in tournements and whatnot; and I tell you, Hitler is actually a pretty good goalie. I read often, sometimes Satanic Rituals and slaughtering goats but that stuff gets old and boring. I'm actually probably a bigger fan of Meg Cabot, Daniell Steel and Nicholas Sparks (I love my romance novels!). I'm an alcoholic, but who isn't these days? I'm currently searching for the right woman, but not many women want to hook-up with the Devil, it leaves me rather lonely. That's pretty much all I have to say about me for now. If you have any questions about me, or about Hell in general, feel free to send me or post me a question, which I will answer.
I now have a group where all you sinners can keep in contact and post pictures of your hardcore sins. Go check it out: Kingdom of Sin . Plus, I have an e-mail account to which you can mail any sinful pictures if you'd like: [email protected]. I love the internet, I'm glad we had it installed in Hell.
Also, minions, I'd like you to spread this piece of trash around the corrupt enviroment of the internet, so more people can ravish in the splendor of my Satanic ways. Just do it, bitch.
