everything counts in large amounts. my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder. reading, writing, arithmatic. okay so that last one is a lie. i go from day to day. i know where the cupboards are. i know where the car is parked. i know he isnt you.
ani, tori, bjork, tim curry, and oprah.
i cant talk about music. its how i sleep, its how i breathe, its how i get my food. its everything all of the time. although i wish it wasnt really everything and i wish it werent all of the time. what i wouldnt give for a little peace. music has effectivly destroyed me and prevented me from having a normal life of stability. really. all of my bad decisions started when i became obsessed with the notion that music was everything. i met the wrong people and did the wrong things and now i want my old friends and i want my old face and i want my old mind and fuck this time and place.
good will hunting because its not my fault. rocky horror because i truly understand the lure of the time warp. 28 days laster because theres something in the blood. amelie because i want my nino so bad. kill bill(s) becasue i hope to be a bitter bride on a roaring rampage one day. pieces of april because its too close to home. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind because it makes me hate myself. girl interrupted because i too have confused the location of my aorta. the cockettes because theyre my true blue soul mates. the royal tenenbaums because i think we're just gonna have to be secretly in love with eachother and leave it at that, richie. and finding nemo because who doesnt love a singing fish.
late at night i turn to the glowing box in the livingroom. i once read a story about a tribe who found a glowing blue ball in the woods. they peeled off the layers and decorated their faces, bodies, and the walls of their homes. soon they all began to get sick and die. they had found the radioactive core to an old x-ray machine. totally unrelated, but thats how i feel when i cant sleep.
my ex told me that reading one hundred years of solitude would change my life. all it did was make me insane and glad that we broke up. i much prefer silverstein- where the sidewalk ends, bukowski- women, kerouac- on the road, kaysen- girl interripted, sebold- the lovely bones, karr- cherry, burroughs- magical thinking, and block- dangerous angels.
did i ever tell you youre my hero? youre everything- everything- i wish i could be. oh, and i- i can fly higher than an eagle. you are the wind beneath my wings.