bruce profile picture

bruce

So do you think you can fly? I think you can!

About Me

I am a sick individual. You may grow to love me. I can do whatever I want. One thing has stopped me from wingless flight, gravity, but I hope to overcome this slight obstacle soon. I will keep you all up to date on my research which involves watching people jump from buildings time and time again, with the same, sad design flaws obviously apparent after every jump. As long as I have a tongue, it is my mission to recruit new jumpers and encourage them to prove people wrong. Gravity is not a law, it is a guideline. In most cases the line points straight down. But, the earth is moving around the sun due to gravity, and not straight at it. My mom took me grocery shopping. I was on one side of the cashier thing at Cub Foods, Mom is on the other. I had paid and she was waiting to pay, she says, "Here I thought you might like this, it was two for one." She handed me a family size chicken breast pack. I said, "Thanks, lady". The cashier(an older woman) looked at me and mouthed the words, "Do you know her?" I made a horrified look on my face and shook my head. My mom watched in shock. God bless her, she can take a joke like a CHAMP.

My Interests

things that go fast

I'd like to meet:

I was asked once what 5 people-anyone from past to present- I'd like to meet. Here they are: God-The curiosity kills me. But it's better to believe and be wrong, than not believe and be judged. Think about it. Sun Tzu-The Art of War-I would discuss his strategies applied to modern war, with modern technology. Einstein-I want to know if he failed high school math because he could not pay attention to the mindless drivel of lesser intellect. If so, I would seek advice in achieving success- despite the binds. Matt Damon-He is incredible, and a true inspiration. From Good Will Hunting, to the Bourne movies, to Syriana- he seems to do no wrong. The Oprah interview seemed to enhance his "genuine" appearance. Elle Macpherson-I am straight. She is as perfect as a woman could ever be.

Music:

yes, I like it all

Movies:

Anchorman and 40 yr old virgin- I memorized after seeing 4 or 5 times. hilarious.

Books:

400-800 pages a day. Last book read was Vince Flynn, Consent to Kill.

Heroes:

My mom and dad.They are the sweet old couple that make you smile when you see them together. Heed their advice, marriage is all about loving the other's flaws and compromise. My mom fights cancer and wins everytime. Crazy strong lady.