Robyn profile picture

Robyn

ladameauxcamilias

About Me

An orphaned child, I was sent by my aunt to live in the Alps with my gruff but kindly hermit grandfather. I spent my days frolicking in the hills with my friend Peter, the goatherder, and making my grandfather soup. Everything was peachy until my aunt came back to steal me away from my beloved grandfather to go to Frankfurt and live with a rich family so that I might be a companion to their paraplegic daughter, Elizabeth Taylor. With my plucky charm and spirit, I eventually convinced her that she could walk again- which, unfortunately she could not- and upon trying, smashed her head on the coffee table and died a slow, painful death. But I *did* get a lot of tap dancing in with the housekeeping staff. The family was very nice and instead of pressing charges, they sent me back to the alps to live with grandfather and Peter. I loved Peter and hoped to marry him one day, but he loved only Greta, his favorite goat, who in turn loved only his big herding cane. After Grandfather died, I spent the rest of my days out yodelling and tap dancing and being haunted by hallucinations of people in leiderhosen yelling "Ricola!" everywhere.
The End.
Also, I'm supposed to be a writer. This is my blog:
NOTES FROM THE UNDERWHELMED- you'll laugh, you'll cry, it'll become a part of you and take you on a journey within yourself. Or not.

My Interests

coffee, cigarettes, never getting around to throwing things out, reading too much, dispensing sage wisdom, Mr. Catface, schadenfreude, icarianism, egg cream sodas, trying to figure out what that whole rapture thing is about, 3am Walgreens excursions, tiramisu, when Jen slaps total strangers, dramatic readings of the X-matches and jesus pamphlets, skee-ball, sex-positive feminism, kvetching

I'd like to meet:

JoJo the Dogfaced boy, Lydia the Tattooed Lady. Anyone who makes me seem marginally less neurotic. Those who can air their grievances in a manner that I find entertaining.
Were I to have a dinner party, to which I could invite any person living or dead, I would definitely not invite Herman Melville, as I suspect he would go on about whale blubber all evening, causing my guests to lose their appetites or simply be bored to death- I mean, can you just imagine?

Music:

tom waits, otis redding, aretha franklin, the velvet underground, carole king, benny goodman, peggy lee, astrud gilberto, leadbelly, beach boys, bikini kill, tribe 8, jeff buckley, sam cooke, blossom dearie, the kinks, the b-52's, nina simone, odetta, ma rainey, patsy cline, ida cox, ella fitzgerald, the marvelettes, dean martin, billie holiday, renata tebaldi, the chiffons, cat stevens, the paper dolls, booker t and the mg's, bessie smith, the shangri-la's, the velvelettes, the cookies, marvin gaye, ethel merman, the ventures, david bowie, frank sinatra, big mama thornton, carly simon, etta james, dinah washington, the ramones, randy newman, the gits, sleater kinney, apples in stereo, josef k, louis prima and keely smith, pulp, the raspberries, the ronettes, the misfits, ruth etting, smokey robinson, stevie wonder, the softies, al green

Movies:

annie hall, whatever happened to baby jane, all about eve, faster pussycat kill kill!, highschool hellcats, bringing up baby, evil dead, take the money and run, dog day afternoon, breakfast at tiffanys, casablanca, sleeper, the outsiders, the purple rose of cairo, harold and maude, pandoras box, crybaby, pink flamingos, the commitments, cabaret, manhattan, bananas, the big sleep, lost in translation, paris- when it sizzles, of human bondage, the maltese falcon, hush hush sweet charlottel, jezebel, gone with the wind, splendor in the grass, on the waterfront, a streetcar named desire, the manchurian candidate, top hat, pretty in pink, say anything, charade, funny face, sabrina, some like it hot, roman holiday, to have and to have not, mildred pierce, mantrap, die! die! my darling!, dial m for murder, freaks, the devil doll, spinal tap, who's afraid of virginia woolf?, cat on a hot tin roof, sunset boulevard, jane eyre, the jerk, the man who came to dinner, gilda, pal joey, double indemnity, the lady eve, algiers, ziegfeld girl, rear window, to catch a thief, high society, anna karenina, the divorcee, her cardboard lover, the female of the species, sex and the single girl, duck soup, the letter, mr. skeffington, dangerous, dead men don't wear plaid, coquette, it happened one night, now voyager, butterfield 8, the desparate hours, the wild one .... oh my gosh, to actually complete this would take so so long

Television:

Law and order and anything on Turner Classic Movies. And "Talk Sex with Sue Johanson."

Books:

Dostoevsky, Dorothy Parker, Henry Miller, Anais Nin, Jean Genet, John Kennedy Toole, Baudelaire, D.H. Lawrence, Edith Wharton, Gerard de Nerval, Marcel Proust, Balzac, Gustave Flaubert, Faulkner, Dashiell Hammett, Tennyson, Antonin Artaud, Phillip Roth, Jonathan Safran Foer, Douglas Coupland, Tristan Tzara, Andre Breton, Jean Cocteau, Zora Neale Hurston, Pier Paolo Pasolini, Voltaire, James Joyce, Georges Bataille, Tolstoy, Nabokov, Louis Aragon, John Barth, Jorge Luis Borges, Haruki Marukami, Isaac Bashevis Singer, Pushkin, Vonnegut, Guy de Maupassant, Tom Robbins, Thomas Pynchon, David Foster Wallace, Dave Eggers, W. Somerset, Maugham, Zadie Smith, Chuck Pahluniuk, Arthur Rimbaud, Edna Ferber, Oscar Wilde, Magaret Atwood, Sarah Vowell, Howard Zinn, Don Delillo, Kafka, Sartre, Albert Camus, Simone de Beauvoir, Kathy Acker, F. Scott Fitzgerald... and a lot of others including a vast array of biographies and autobiographies of dead old hollywood movie stars.

Heroes:

Groucho Marx, Dorothy Parker, Fran Leibowitz, Voltaire and Oscar Wilde. Ideally I'd like to be famous for saying clever things every now and again at cocktail parties. Clearly, I need to make friends with someone who works for the New Yorker. Also:

My Blog

No longer operating out of this location...

From now on, myspace people, you can read all my crazy ass rantings here: http://notesfromtheunderwhelmed.blogspot.com/  ...
Posted by Robyn on Tue, 18 Jul 2006 11:13:00 PST

Mail time!

Dear Fake Lesbians at Nick's last night: God, that is just so... 1997. Really. If you're so not enough on your own that you have to hump your girlfriend to get some attention... well, I hate...
Posted by Robyn on Mon, 28 May 2007 11:39:00 PST

A lady and her soup (a three hour tour)

See, the thing about me is, once I get it into my head that I want something, I will not give up until I get it. Such was my bisque dillemma today. Many of you may recall my similar quests for eg...
Posted by Robyn on Sun, 27 May 2007 06:48:00 PST

Things I am ir/rationally bothered by (continually updated list)

This was originally a post about how I cut my hair, how much I hate cutting my hair, which then dissolved into a list of things I also dislike. I've decided to scrap everything but the list, and keep ...
Posted by Robyn on Sun, 06 May 2007 07:44:00 PST

I like grapes, etc.

It's true. I'm on a grape kick. No other food interests me at the moment. I purchased 10 dollars worth of grapes today. Also, I am glad that the Red Sox have beat the Yankees twice in a row. Thes...
Posted by Robyn on Sun, 22 Apr 2007 09:32:00 PST

I dyed my hair red again...

Not that red- the same burgundy-ish color I used to dye it. But I'm feeling like it might have had something to do with the fact that it has been Rita Hayworth month on the TCM. She wasn't a...
Posted by Robyn on Thu, 19 Apr 2007 10:44:00 PST

A few things about today's decision

I've been pissy about this all day. First of all, there's nothing I like better than a bunch of men telling me what I can and cannot do with my body! Second of all, I really, really dug the whole thin...
Posted by Robyn on Thu, 19 Apr 2007 10:16:00 PST

a dream deferred.

As many of you know, it has been one of my life-long dreams to be a girl friday in a private detective agency. As it has turned out, unfortunately, my life is much less film noir than I had originally...
Posted by Robyn on Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:20:00 PST

Decisions, decisions

It has been decided that... A) Square dancing is going to be the new hip thing to do. Seriously. And we will wear tulle. SO much tulle. B) An experiment this evening proved that rouged knees...
Posted by Robyn on Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:30:00 PST

My awesome dating reality show...

Secret: I have actually watched several episodes of "I Love New York," entirely of my own accord. I am just hypnotized by it. I'm sad it's almost over, to be honest. I have to tell you, in no way can ...
Posted by Robyn on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 01:15:00 PST