OATCAKES ’N COAL profile picture

OATCAKES ’N COAL

Oatcakes ’n Coal travelling performance review.

About Me

Welcone to our evolving space which celebrates and promotes the free wheeling comedy, theatre, music and poetry of Johnny in the Pots... Although not born into abject poverty Johnny quickly dragged his parents in that general direction. An inquisitive child he would pass endless sleepless nights contemplating the imponderables of life such as:- Can a half-wit work full time for the labour party? - What would happen if you got scared half to death twice? - Is it bad luck to be superstitious? - And why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a sell by date? ...Later in life he would also be baffled as to why a pizza can get to your house faster than a police car, and why Tarzan never had a beard... Graduating from University with a court martial and no meaningful education (How was he to know that the four seasons weren't salt, pepper, vinegar and mustard! or that a turbine wasn't something an Indian wears on his head!)... he took a notion to earning a living as a professional golfer. A career cut short when he hit two good balls by standing on a rake. Poor health continued to blight his life but Johnny had little faith in his doctor - All his patients were pissing ill!- And although not an organ donor he did once give an old piano to the Womans institute... Therapy was followed by poetry and Johnny's amazing monologues have been heard on BBC radio and published in booklet form. (Video and audio recordings to appear on this space a.s.a.p) He is also the founder of OATCAKES 'N COAL theatre and audio production which records and promotes the work of local playwrights and talented thespians. Aligned to this is his involvement in the Irish based showband CLANCY (Live tracks to be added soon) and his on going dalliance with stand-up comedy duo THE FLYING FAUX PAS... Yet still he finds time to ask the question, "What if the hokey-cokey really is what it's all about"? - How sad would that be?We sincerely hope that through this space we can all have fun together. It's purpose is to keep up with friends and promote performance art. English is my Mother tongue (on account father wasn't allowed to speak very often) though I'm still baffled as to why abbreviation is such a long word, and why phonetic isn't spelt the way it sounds... As George Burns once said:- "Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair". I edited my profile with Thomas Myspace Editor V4.4 (www.strikefile.com/myspace) msprm name="movie"

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 4/8/2007
Band Website: myspace.com/oatcakes ’n coal
Band Members: OATCAKES ’N COAL is the community based theatre project whereby undiscovered talented playwrights, actors and actresses get the opportunity to showcase their talent. We aspire to produce high quality audio recordings for radio and tv promotion. "The secret of good acting is sincerity, fake that and you can pretty much fake anything" - "Always remember applause is better than sex, and in most peoples case lasts longer...".....THE FLYING FAUX PAS remain a comedy duo (usually!) though their membership is neither fixed nor set in stone. They represent the vehicle through which the humorous songs, sketches and stand up routines written by Johnny in the pots are piloted. Still probably the funniest thing in Stoke (And believe me there are some bloody funny things in Stoke) they are a reminder that if your parents never had children, then chances are you won’t either........CLANCY: Irish based trio featuring Pauline from Ballymena, Bill from Derry and Johnny from the Irish quarter of Wolverhampton! A laid back approach to songs from the Emerald Isles......MONOLOGUES AND MUSE: Entertaining and irreverent prose based on the belief that ’One good turn usually gets most of the duvet’ and ’Where there’s a will there is usually three hundred relatives...
Influences: ...Yes, well, we all get under the influence don’t we? I mean, atheism may be a non prophet organisation but we all make mistakes... Is drink an influence? It was when I went into my local and the barman said "What can I get you"? I said "Surprise me" - He said "Have you got any naked photographs of your wife"? I said "No"- He said "Would you like to buy some"?... Drugs are an influence aren’t they? I remember the days when people took narcotics to make the world seem weird, now they take prozac to make it seem normal... A friend of ours mixed up his viagra with his sleeping pills, he had forty somethings and it wasn’t winks... Girl we know confused her morning after pill with her valium, she’s got seven kids now but doesn’t give a monkeys... Got under the influence of gas once. Quite pleasant untill I woke up and found the dentist had stolen half my teeth... Yes, well, biggest influence in my life at present would be the wife (Woo-hoo!) - Unfortunately she came as part of a package that included the Mother-in-law (bah!) ...Mate of mine swears his Mother-in-law is an angel. "You’re lucky" I said. "Mine’s still living"... I mean, are influences permanent? Surely there’s only so many Beatles songs Oasis can rip off... And I still believe if god had meant us to go metric he’d have appointed 10 apostles!- Think about it... Not sure I’ve got the hang of this ’Influence’ malarky... Well, yes, we’re all under the influence aren’t we...
Sounds Like: ...An original thought on a warm summers day. How rare is that? I mean, those that take life too serious seldom get out alive do they? Can’t have everything can we, where would we put it? The day my Mother-in-law admits I’m successful is the day I quit... Yes, well, it’s important we all work harder, there are millions of immigrants on state benefits depending on us... I’ve got a day job (Working nights) I pretend to be useful and they pretend to pay me... It’s not rocket science is it. Sounds like I’m working my way up from nothing to a state of unparalled poverty... Thing is, if at first you don’t succeed, move into management... Sounds like the glass is either half empty or half full, you choose!
Record Label: Haven’t started one, but don’t discount it.
Type of Label: Indie

My Blog

Reasons to stay healthy...

-Well, the alternative is none too appealing is it? I mean, we all get older and through no fault of our own the body is bound to wear. Personally I'm no hypochondriac but there's a distinct possibili...
Posted by OATCAKES ’N COAL on Sun, 25 May 2008 05:24:00 PST

What’s in a name (Change)?

Well, yes, people change their names all the time don’t they? Like when they get married or divorced or are on the run from interpol. Some people get their names changed to suit their personalit...
Posted by OATCAKES ’N COAL on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 06:03:00 PST

tits up...

...Breast feeding in public! - Natural as it may seem to women of the world it's somethin' us men will never feel anythin' but uncomfortable around. Bad enough travellin' on public transport without t...
Posted by OATCAKES ’N COAL on Mon, 04 Feb 2008 12:52:00 PST

Therapy

...Just when I thought it was safe to leave hospital I took a serious turn for the Nurse... Bit of a 'One flew over the Cuckoos nest' story but in a nut shell this is how it all happened... We sold th...
Posted by OATCAKES ’N COAL on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 11:36:00 PST

WELCOME TO SMOKE-ON-TRENT...

...How many Stoke-on-Trent councillors does it take to screw in a light bulb??? - ONE! - Stoke-on-Trent councillors will screw anything...and everything!!! Hence we can still spark up in pubs and publ...
Posted by OATCAKES ’N COAL on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 08:29:00 PST

Damp???

...According to Victor Meldrew who surveyed our house the property has got signs of damp. Just what the old git was doing sniffing mar ladies knickers in the laundry basket I don't know... Are Surveyo...
Posted by OATCAKES ’N COAL on Wed, 27 Jun 2007 06:04:00 PST

The secret of eternal youth is?

...Lie about your age! Bob Hope said that. Life may not always be worth living but what else can you do with it? - I said that. How wise am I? Mar lady reckons our parents screw up the first half of o...
Posted by OATCAKES ’N COAL on Tue, 05 Jun 2007 08:02:00 PST

Now that's what I call a faux pas...

Two couples go on holiday together They've been friends for a very long time The vacation turns out a disaster Both couples are bored, out of their mind. So the menfolk decide to swop partners And the...
Posted by OATCAKES ’N COAL on Tue, 22 May 2007 11:36:00 PST

Feckin faux pas holidays...

I'll never forget the first time I met my Mother-in-law on holiday - although I'll always keep trying. She obviously wasn't feeling herself and I noticed the improvement immediately. Hell, a diff...
Posted by OATCAKES ’N COAL on Mon, 21 May 2007 09:58:00 PST

What the flying faux pas was that?

...I repeat. What kind of a flying faux pas week that was. Have you ever got so drunk and done something really stupid? ...I mean really,really stupid like sold your house? - I have, and did! How barm...
Posted by OATCAKES ’N COAL on Sun, 06 May 2007 06:41:00 PST