Ross A. Lincoln profile picture

Ross A. Lincoln

America is the only country that went from barbarism to democracy without civlization in between. -

About Me

I am a dilettante, but, in all fairness I am also, most days, pretty well dressed. It's a delicate balancing act.
I'm liberal, neurotic, and usually hyper. I sleep in fits, and tend to stay up babbling for far too late. I can be completely mis-minded and clueless, even self absorbed, but I'm loyal to a fault, and I make kick-ass mix CDs. I think you should show enthusiasm freely, and that you should never be ashmed to look like you're having a good time, loudly. I'm also, probably, the most hyperbolic person you'll ever meet, for the whole history of humankind.
I like books, history, comics, music, flirting, fancy pants girlish-man things, good style, pretentious behavior, kissing, politics, and Ninja Vs Samurai battles. I would like to be considered a dandy, but at least I would be mistaken for one in a police lineup. I like velvet, corduroy, nail polish and eye liner. I generally match my socks, shoes, and tie, and sometimes my jackets. I have one arch enemy, but they're not aware that they are my arch enemy, so I'm kind of screwed with that one.
I like crosswords, sudoku, video games, board games, road trip quizzes, and singing while driving. I like songs about dead people, old prostitutes, romance, broken hearts, worn-out libertines, and robots. I can do the centipede, the Kid n' Play, and a very feeble Robot.
I am a proudly godless Secular Humanist, though I selected "Agnostic" as my religion because they don't have Secular Humanism as an option. In fact, only just yesterday I sacrificed a baby to the scientiffic method and to John Stuart Mill.
I was very, very sad when Kurt Vonnegut died, even though it wasn't what you'd call a surprise, given that he was so old his DNA profile was written on parchment. HIOOO! But seriously, I was very sad. I very greatly admired him.
I am not a pipe.

My Interests

Someday, I want my full time job to be one of the following, I don't care which:
A) An advice columnist for in-flight magazines
B)A professional plagarist
C) A full time, Hardcover edition, jacket blurb writer - "With his latest novel, Harold K.G. Douchebag exudes a languid sensuality that recalls the erotic spirit of Henry miller, yet reminds us all of the way our world has changed since 9/11. Continuing in the fiery spirit of his Debut Novel, "Can Witches Menstrate?" Douchebag demonstrates beyond a doubt that he is the defining literary voice of our time"
D) That one cranky old dickhead who somehow always manages to get quoted in the feedback portion of fluff news programs. You know, the guy who always complains about how women used to act like Ladies and how men have been feminized by our liberal culture. That guy sucks.
E) The editor of a corporate in-house newsletter named after some stupid aspect of the company, like "The Register!" if you work for a Grocery Store, or "Our 2 Cents!" if you work for a bank.
I like music, comics, books, history, and my Honda Elite 80 scooter, which I refer to exclusively as The X-1.
I co host Theme Party , the cutest and most interesting Radio Show in Los Angeles, every friday night on Kill Radio. For more information, and our kick ass blog, you should also consider checking out our Myspace Profile

I'd like to meet:

I am not interested in hearing about where you and your hot, sexy friends like to play on the Internets. I do not care about making my penis larger. I would rather you didn't tell me about your new business venture disguised as a MySpace profile. PLease don't tell me about where you and your bros pick up sluts. I definitely don't care if you're new in town and looking for cute, single friends to party with.
If you know me, please assume I am suffering from anterograde amnesia, or early onset Alzheimer's, and send me a message along with your friend request.
If you are a cyborg, Oscar Wilde, or the owner of a fully functioning time machine, I'd be your best freind. Aside from all that, I like people who have sense of style, humor, but above all, true and sincere decency. People who know the difference between good personal style and being a generic fashion plate, and also that good style does not make you a good person, even though it absolutely never hurts to care about your clothes. People who have a weird thing for fabrics and textures. Nerds, with glasses-pride. People who make new freinds easily, but who keep the good ones for years and years. People who are aware that being political doesn't mean you have to be humorless, and who know the difference between "liberal" and "libertarian" (and why this is a huge deal).
People who care deeply about things created by people, only not in that silly "Check me out at the gallery" kind of way, but in that silly "OHMYGODCHECKOUTHOWAWESOMETHISIS" kind of way. People who make, do, or appreciate stuff like comics, music, art, or breakdancing.
I like staying up too late, and laughing and drinking too much, but that can be done talking, playing games, or eating diner food. Basically, I don't feel the need to be all scenstery. I meet new people easily and I love doing so often. I've been fortunate lately to make some fairly amazing new freinds, but I also have many long-time close friends and they're quite important to me. I'd like to meet people who feel similarly about their own lives.

Music:

I like songs about, but not limited to: Crushed Spirits, love affairs gone horribly wrong, dead prostitutes, robots, space travel, bad writers, breakdancing, one's rhyme style being better than those other rappers, deep and serious crushes on deep and serious girls, and tap dancing.
I'm currently obsessed with the following songs:
Behave, by Charlotte Hatherly
Can't Cook Who Cares, by The Car is On Fire. God I love this song.
Try by Colourmusic
Slow Food, by Arling & Cameron
Five Perfect Exertions, by Army of Pharoahs
A has-been who never Was, by Jose Promis
If you must leave my life, by Richard Harris
Tong Poo, by Yellow Magic Orchestra

10 years too late, I still have a huge crush on Emma Anderson and Miki Berenyi. I Love Baroque Pop, Sunshine Pop, late 80s and early 90s Rap, Cheesy R&B jams about getting "it" on, even though they're usually terrible and lack any sort of subtlety. I happen to think NES and SNES era video game music is pretty incredible.
I also like music from France, Japan, Germany, Sweden, Britain - Well, basically all the countries American rednecks think are secretly gay. I love country and pop from the 1920s and 1930s. Analogue synth music, post punk, regular punk, 1960's pop and 80s R&B are pretty great too. I think Paul McCartney is the best Beatle, though he is probably a dick. I think Supertramp and Hall & Oates are awesome. Ultramagnetic MCs have the best name for a band ever, and I hereby suggest that it be made public domain so more bands can be formed using it.
Morrissey, Scott Walker, Jarvis Cocker, Jimmy Webb, Fantastic Plastic Machine, Antonio Carlos Jobim and Momus are almost certainly my favorite songwriters.

Television:

Peepshow (Which is the best sitcom of the decade, period,) and Rome (Titus Pullo is my Homie 4 Life.) Flight of the Conchords. Look Around You. The History Channel.

Books:

My room is a shambled mess of books and comics spread all about. I could swim in books, except for the whole paper cuts thing, which is to say, I don't specifically need any more scars than i already have. Absolutely inexpendable books and people include: The Flashman Papers, by George M. Frazer; I, The Jury by Mickey Spillane; Bluebeard, by the illustrious Kurt V.; My Life In Baseball, by Al Stump and Ty Cobb; Gore Vidal; Douglass Adams; James Ellroy; James Clavell; The Man Who Awoke, which is, in my opinion, the best Sci Fi novel of all time, and I'm including Cat's Cradle.

Heroes:

Douglass Adams, Oscar Wilde, Brian Michael Bendis, George Macdonald Fraser, Kurt Vonnegut, Mark Twain, Neal Pollack, Benjamin Disraeli's fashion sense, Eugene Debbs, and whomever discovered scotch.