Minions of the Month
Minion Huitson, General Murphy and Minion Andrews have formed an elite team of troublemakers known as the Terrorist Trio... Minion Andrews wanted to call them The Perilous Pie Eaters, but that was scrapped in the initial stages of the marketing meetings. They are planning many raids on the notorious and much hated Nottingham within the next few months and have been awarded Minions of the Month in light of all the hard work and many meetings in our conference rooms(situated in The Royal Oak)that they have orchestrated for the good of The Order. We Salute you!
Now, just in case you have wandered in by mistake let me fill you in of what The Order for World Domination (starting with nottingham) is......
I am a modern day dictator with a desire to take over the world someday, but i'm also a realist and know that to get to where you want to be, you got to start off small... as i have an unexplainable and deep hatred of Nottingham *spit*, i have started my reign of terror there.
I infiltrate peoples homes with brainwashing tools called 'digi boxes', my surveillance equipment known as 'modems' and my audio bugs called 'telco'. Using these three tools i can spy on, listen too and brainwash an entire household..... and the best thing is......... they actually want these things installed in their homes!!
Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm currently building my miniony army, you will be provided with all up to date S.A.S training, be given stardard issue 'tornado grey' uniforms (generals and office personal wear tornado grey and villianous green), you will also be issued with your own utility belt; these contain your standard issue flick knife, secret code book, map of the death tower complex, the order pledge (must be recited every nap time) and pencil sharpener. This must be worn at all times.
if you are interested in a position please email a photo along with short cover letter to:
[email protected] or visit our website at http://www.nottinghamdomination.moonfruit.com/
In return for fufilling Order duties all minions will recieve full dental and health care packages for life. All minions found not carrying out duties, using the fishpond as a toilet, mooning at new trainees or just generally getting on my nerves shall be poked at with very pointy pen lids and have to look after General Casson on one of his many 'Benders'. All first born children of such aforementioned minions shall become property of The Order until The Order states otherwise.
All new recruits will be automactically assigned to a General and when contacted by said General will be obliged to follow that aforementioned said General word for word until the end of time.