Beating the shiiiite outta the dildo that eradicated my First MySpace Page.effin' butt plug.
I'd like to meet:
1) The loooozer that erased my first account. Kick em in the BOX. HARD. mmmmmmmmmmmmm 2) anyBODY that can jump a haybale as good as me... and 3) you.while nobody's lookin!
..Profile Tracker
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Movies:
Squid and the Whale, Little Manhattan, Blazing Saddles, American Beauty, Shakespeare in Love
Television:
The First 48, New Detectives, Investigators, 60 Minutes, SNL, Court TV, and...duh...King of Queens. (a.k.a. me and Pman)
Books:
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.netThings I LIVE for.........My FAVORITE things to do........*... Falling in love. Ooooooph. What a great feeling huh? All hot, and nervous, and FULL of desire.*... Laughing so hard your face hurts. And your neck, and your back, and your soul. I already have permanent laugh lines and Im only 32. To stop that aging process, I would have to STOP laughing this hard. I refuse.*... A hot shower. On a cold day, or after the beach.....oooo I love those...Where you get out and realize....hey.wait a minute.....I still have sand here, and here, and here, and ooops.*... No lines at the supermarket, even if Im not in a hurry, so cool when theyre waiting for YOU....and you check out and realize you actually remembered EVERYTHING.....withOUT a list. GAWD, your good. mmmmm*... A special glance. SomeONE that gets it. And NOone else does. Makes me warm inside. Nothing said. Like a lil electrical current JUST between you.*... Getting mail. Ever since I was little. E-mail, G-mail, but I gotta say, NOTHING compares to SNAIL MAIL. With stickers all over the envelope.*... Taking a drive on a pretty road. Windows down. Great music playing....*... Hearing your favorite song on the radio. Because its spontaneous that way. YOU didnt play it...FATE did.*... Lying in bed listening to the rain outside falling on our skylight. I can lay there forEVER. Lazy? I think not......IN THE MOMENT.*... Hot towels fresh out of the dryer. All clean and yummy and smelly! I will take an EXTRA quicky bath JUST to put a warm fresh towel around me.*... Chocolate milkshake. Im oldfashioned and actually will make Patrick a malted milkshake, and ME a regular....and then beg him to switch with me halfway through. And he ALWAYS does.....*... A bubble bath! I LIVE for bubble baths. LIVE for them.*... Giggling. Shoot. Maybe I LIVE for giggling. But you have to be careful when combining the two. No hard giggling IN the bubblebath. The consequences can be FATAL.*... A good conversation. The kind where you HAVE to be interrupted for it to end. The kind where you think about it AFTERwards, and have MORE to say.*... The beach. laying in the sand reading a good book. Then turning over and just snoozing...dozing in and out of reality listening to my music. THEN........getting hungry. Or HORNgry. Yes. We all do...huh?*... Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter. Im a savage with my winter coats. I usually find random shit in the LINING, because I have been SO rough with my coats that I have HOLEs in them. Im an ANIMAL. But hey...when you HANG out with people who RANDOMLY TACKLE each other....whaddya expect?*... Laughing at yourself. If you cant laugh at yourSELF...then TRUST me....you will be laughed AT. This is vitally important to me. Please dont take yourself so seriously. Im not. I always tell myself ......when I see some rude nasty self absorbed person....wow, this guy is so important in HIS world.....doesnt he realize that in mine....he is absolutely NOTHING?*... Midnightphone calls that last for hours. Or texts that you CANNOT stop. When you get on a roll and discover untapped hilarity. HES like..."Will you PLEASE turn your phone off, and STOP laughing! The pillow over your head is NOT helping!" Oooooph. *wipes tears**... Running through sprinklers. I cant help it. I can be dressed to the nines. Wearing HEELS, and going somewhere fantabulous......and if I see one....I MUST......MUST......MUST run through it.*... Laughing for absolutely no reason at all. I catch myself at very weird moments, remembering something and bursting out with laughter. I did it on the elliptical trainer at my gym..(in Mexico) the other day. People looked at me strange, but they GET it. They do.*... Having someone tell you that you're beautiful. Amazing feeling. For someone who is so incredibly insecure, this is a little word that can change my day. My week. My month. When people say it and mean it. When people say it and there is no reason at all!*... Laughing at an inside joke. I try not to do it too often around lots of people who ARENT in on the joke because it alienates them....but COME ON! When its out there....and its on the plate....mmmmmmkay? Yes, that is a moment. One of my biggest pet peeves, besides people who wear those freaking stupid ass pajama bottoms outside there homes like its Christmas morning...in MARCH....is people who say..."whuhappuhn?"...I went to the deli for eggs with Patrick and I said...(verbatum)..."Can I get a dozen eggs?"...and the clerk looked right at me and said..."Whuhappuhn?". We laughed so hard we had to leave. eggLESS.*... Friends. Without friends I would second guess many things. I feel very fortunate that I have such a large group of fun, talented, witty, supportive, BEAUTIFUL, and wonderful friends.*... Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you. Doesnt happen very often, I will be honest, but when it does...it feels great doesnt it.*... Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep. Its not every day that I HAVE to get up at a certain time...especially right now, duh, BUT...when I do....it always makes me tingle with pleasure when I wake up, look at the clock, and realize that I can safely go back to snuggle position and not even WORRY about the alarm going off cuz I have PLENTY of time left.*... Playing with a new puppy or kitten. I cant go into pet shops anymore, because growing up on a farm, I got used to having 29 cats and 9 dogs......and I obviously cant do THAT anymore. But I have a deep connection with animals..(as MOST people do) (Im unsure of people who dont, to be honest). I fall in love with them.*... Having someone play with your hair. Why does this feel so good? Braid it, brush it, PULL IT.........j/k. (uhm....no im not)*... Hot chocolate. With those teeny little marshmallows in it. But you gotta eat the marshmallows before they melt. Better just to keep a BAG of marshmallows handy....JUST IN CASE.....(as a safety precaution....ya know)*... Road trips....with sunflower seeds.*... Making chocolate chip cookies. Im better COCKer. or betty CRACKwhore. hahahahahahahahahaha I will actually bake TWO cookies. Which Im TOLD is a waste of our PSE&G bill, but the complaining only lasts until that cookie is delivered to his lap with an ICEcold glass of milk. Then...PSE& who?*... Holding hands with someone you care about. Walking across the street and being held back from the onslaught of an unnoticed oncoming rampant taxi cab. When he takes (what he considers) the more dangerous side of the sidewalk....when he opens the door for me....*... Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or
bad)never change. The one that you havent seen in 3 years, yet when you do, its like you were together YESTERDAY. Love those. THOSE are the ones that count. huh?*The look on his face when he comes home from work at 11 at night after a 12 hour shift and I have a meal and a martini waiting for him.*... Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think. Seriously. That RULES.
Heroes:
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
